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Original poster

Someone died in my bedroom...

128 replies

HattieMcNastie · 29/08/2019 23:45

I always thought previous tenant died in hospital but neighbour told me he died in my room and wasn't found 'for a while'.

Now I can't bloody settle and keep scaring myself with horrible thoughts.

I've lived here 13 years and been fine in my bedroom. Now it feels creepy.

I know most houses have had someone die in them but wondering feels different to being told directly 'he passed away in your bedroom and wasn't discovered for a while'

Just gives me the willies.

OP posts:
BlondeBumshelll · 30/08/2019 00:33

Oh this kind of thing weirds me out and it's exactly why I'm wavering on buying a house I've liked the look of. The man who died in there had fallen and lay dying for days before anyone found him. He died in hospital a day later but it still freaks me out. Not as much as the fact that when his wife died he kept her body for 2 weeks before alerting authorities. He was a bit of an 'oddball' for want of a better word (I do hate the word but it's how he would be described locally) and their children haven't cleared anything out of the house yet so I don't really want to view it yet.

In my head I know the house is a bargain but I keep thinking that it might be too creepy and my mind will be in overdrive.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 30/08/2019 00:38

A woman allegedly gassed herself to death in my granny's old kitchen. It was a safe, comfortable room and no one in the family ever felt other than safe and comfortable there.

Sometimes rooms feel creepy and atmospheres oppressive for no apparent reason. I've hung a collection of vintage mirrors in my hallway which I love, and they've been there a couple of years. But since adding two newly-acquired antique deco finds this summer, for some unaccountable reason the whole collection is now suddenly giving me the creeps. I have no idea why!

The fact that someone died in a particular room doesn't mean there'll be a taint of that situation left behind. You were happy in that room before you had this additional knowledge. That should tell you everything you need to know.

kateandme · 30/08/2019 00:50

dont even think about it.youve been fine for all these years.nothing has changed apart from your thoughts.it doesnt suddenly become dangrous becasue of your knowledge of it.this is your thinking doing this scary stuff.

ladycarlotta · 30/08/2019 00:53

We bought our house probate and I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of the old couple who owned it originally had died in it. I suppose the thought doesn't bother me too much because they had a close-knit family and everybody in the neighbourhood knew them and talks to us about them. So I find it unlikely they went for much time without someone finding them which, yeah, is quite an unpleasant thought really.

And anyway, it's a new owner's prerogative to be entirely ignorant of what happened in a place before it became their home; we'll never know half the dramas that have happened everywhere we go in the world, and that's kind of as it should be. These things just fade away and we come along with our new experiences to lay on the top.

tolerable · 30/08/2019 00:56

@ReanimatedSGB. my dad did same.incredibly unusual for him to be home c/o salesman/travelled a lot. ..on weeknight. he was 52...so utterly unexpected and...I mean it nicely,but if your not gony wake up,your own beds probli best place for it.google a free sleepnotherapy n chillx

Cherrysoup · 30/08/2019 00:57

I didn’t go into the room where my dad died when I was at my parents’ house for the funeral but I had to when I was up last weekend. Mum dragged me in to show me something and told me not to be so stupid, dad had gone etc. I’m not so sure he has, but it was ok.

Lowcarblady · 30/08/2019 01:00

Maybe get a 🐕 so he can 💨 away all the 😱 for you at night. (Sorry I couldn't resist the emojis that popped up).

memaymamo · 30/08/2019 01:05

It is psychological but it doesn't mean your feelings aren't real. If sageing helps you, do it again, and do more cleansing rituals, give the poor guy a farewell ceremony if you need.

Can you paint the walls with fresh paint and redecorate (even just rearranging furniture) so it feels new?

BlankTimes · 30/08/2019 01:07

But the whole point is you only felt weird about your room after she said that someone died in there.

For 13 blissful years, you thought it was fine. It's still fine, really. the room hasn't changed.

Now I can't bloody settle and keep scaring myself with horrible thoughts
Why? Seriously, what benefit do you get from doing that? It happened over a decade ago, it's gone, done, over. You've had 13 happy years there, why suddenly decide it's at a level of creepy that you can't tolerate now?

I think you have two choices, either a course of CBT to help you reframe your thoughts, or move if it's bothering you so much.

Yarboosucks · 30/08/2019 01:11

My house is 500 years old. Lord knows how many people have died here. What I do know is that the previous owner died almost exactly where I am sitting now. When we first moved in our dog would sit and stare at this spot. I know she loved the house, we love the house and so I hope she would be happy that we are here.

I have heard many stories about her passing and each time I hear it, the story gets a little more lurid. The truth, from the person who found her is quite mundane. So I would assume your neighbor has embellished a bit.

Finally if you have lived there happily for years, then surely you know there is no real issue.

Gingernaut · 30/08/2019 01:15

The deeds to my house contain death certificates of previous owners and where they died.

Here, mainly....

Yarboosucks · 30/08/2019 01:17

Sageing….bunkum!

WhenPushComesToShove · 30/08/2019 01:19

My Dad died suddenly and unexpected in my childhood home in an armchair in his sleep. Mum and I continued to live there for many years rather comforted by the memories and imagining him coming through the door at any minute like he used to.

cannycat20 · 30/08/2019 01:59

I know it might sound a bit "woo", but if you want to put your mind at rest, maybe get a white sage smudge stick (lots of online places sell it) , light it, and gently walk round the room, saying a prayer (The Lord's Prayer is as good as any) or a blessing or just asking that any spirits in the room who need to move on can do so. Make sure you put the smudge stick somewhere safe to burn out.

If you'd rather not use a smudge stick, then ordinary incense or even a nice white candle (again, tealight is fine) in a safe fireproof holder, walking round the room with it. If you want to go the whole way, as it were, then you can use the four elements (air - incense; fire - candle; water - plain boiled water will do; earth - a little bit of rock or sea salt, just a few grains in each corner). There are lots of very nice, safe cleansing rituals online, and I know it might sound daft, but every time I've ever moved house, just for my own peace of mind, I've used them, and often regularly throughout the year too. Again, it might sound a bit "woo", but energy builds up in a place just as dirt does, so a good clean now and then won't do any harm (including opening the windows or doors and "brushing things out" with a broom or brush).

Whether you belief in them or not, from a psychological point of view they can be very settling.

Or if you're really worried, have a word with the local church and ask what help they can give you. But honestly, someone has been a good, kind person in life, they're not going to stop being that good, kind person when they move on, if you believe in an afterlife. (We have our own ghost, Zelda, who used to live here and really does get very cross when we move the plantpot. I am not making this up. And a lot of my friends are nurses or ex-nurses, and pretty much all of them have seen spirits in hospital. And they're all the most down-to-earth, no-nonsense people you could hope to meet.)

Shockers · 30/08/2019 02:13

He will have lived happily in your home for much longer than he spent there as a dead person.

Recently, in a holiday home in Italy, there was a photograph of an elderly couple on the wall- it was the owner’s parents, who had lived there until their deaths. At first I was uncomfortable in the house, then I started chatting to them about the beautiful garden and the view. I started to feel really privileged to have been able to share the place they had brought their family up in.

When we left, I thanked them... and cried a bit because it was such a beautiful place to be.

MorganKitten · 30/08/2019 02:15

The lady who lived here before me died in my room. It never bothered me as it’s natural, the place was deep cleaned and it’s a nice room.

areukiddingme · 30/08/2019 02:17

Stop Bragging 😱

LoreleiRock · 30/08/2019 02:26

Yes, I know I am being facetious, but he did not die in your bedroom. He died at home. Like most people do. Which means that there have been deaths in practically all houses in the UK. What is creepy about that?

Nat6999 · 30/08/2019 03:52

My mum's house where I grew up is over 100 years old so the chance is someone at some time has died there, I know someone died next door because someone committed suicide by putting their head in the gas oven, that must have been about 60 years ago. It has never bothered me at all.

greentheme23 · 30/08/2019 04:12

At least they didn't pour petrol over themselves and burn to death in the house which is what a previous tenant had done in our old house. I'm afraid unless you move house into a new build you are going to have to accept it and move on.

Toneitdown · 30/08/2019 06:21

If you genuinely feel creeped out by this then do the sage thing. The whole shebang. Do it and take it as seriously as feels necessary. You will do absolutely no harm and I bet you will sleep better afterwards. There's no reason not to. If you're embarrassed then don't tell anyone that you did it.

Also please consider that if ghosts are real and this guy is still "present" in your house, why would he take issue with you? I'm sure he'd be happy that you have turned the place into a loving family home. Ghosts aren't going to be dicks by default.

dreamsofprovence · 30/08/2019 06:26

Okay, I really don’t want this to sound horrible, I promise, but this is all a bit self-absorbed, isn’t it?

The people who died are thought of with fondness and grief by those who loved them: that is as it should be. No one needs to think of them beyond this. Being ‘creeped out’ by something which is as natural as food, light and water, is silly.

We are grown women and to be honest I think it’s a really bad example to set DC when there is silliness about things like this. He is no longer there, he is in the universe now in one form or other beyond pain, hurt or harm. Leave him there.

Herja · 30/08/2019 06:42

Just in case it helps with the thought of someone left there unfound: My late boyfriend was not found for a week aftter he had died. When he was, he still looked perfect, I know because I saw him.

Don't think of the previous tennant as rotting; Just of him as waiting to be found. Which he was, he will have been loved and cherished in his life, he may still be greatly missed. Treat his memory as the human he was, rather than the idea of a decomposing corpse.

Death is not something to be scared of, it's life's only certainty.

Cannyhandleit · 30/08/2019 06:43

We moved into our family home when I was 5 after the previous tenant sided in my bedroom. I am now 36 and although I don't live with my parents anymore I have obviously spent a great chunk of my life in that room and now my kids sleep in it when they stay over. In all honesty it has never bothered me in the slightest.

WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 30/08/2019 06:51

One estimate says that 100 billion people have died over the course of human history. The idea that this one is now haunting you (after 13 years of nothing) is very silly.