I need to get my act together - anyone else?!

[MillieMoodle]

I really need to get my act together - my house is a mess and needs a bloody good clean, I don't look after myself properly so always feel scruffy, I'm overweight since having 2 DC and I permanently feel stressed and like I have no control over anything.

So I am going to take back control. I would like to be an oasis of calm and serenity, preferably 2.5 stone lighter, obviously much slimmer, with decent hair, nails and eyebrows, a lovely clean house and the ability to turn down a chocolate bar once in a while. I also want to be able to wear a bikini on holiday next year without feeling quite so wobbly. It starts today!

Anyone else up for it?

Having two non sleeping toddlers in the house is not helpful with any sort of bedroom ambitions

They were actually very kind on Wednesday, I had a very heavy AF and all I could do was lie on the sofa shivering between regular trips to the loo. They covered me with blankets and cuddled up to watch Paw Patrol (oh joy) - I think they were worried as they'd never seen Mummy so poorly!

Feeling a bit better today but still fuelled mostly by chocolate therefore today's plan is:

• look at new bedding/ bedroom furniture for the DCs - they are rapidly growing out of their toddler beds, the room needs a revamp anyway and it's coming up to their birthday, could ask for bits as presents
• empty out and clean if I find the energy the food cupboards to make a list for a big shop
• make list on Excel of spare food to print out regularly and not waste as much food (although this means I have to work out how to use the printer)
• update my weight loss app and decide whether to keep paying for it. I was doing really well till the school holidays!

Good luck to everyone and Happy Friday

I’m a bit wheezy and sneezy today and feeling generally run down.
This is when I realise that a crappy diet doesn’t help.
My plan for today is
Porridge for breakfast, soup for lunch and chicken+veg curry with brown rice for dinner.
I’m going for a long walk this morning and doing all the laundry (uniforms mostly)
I haven’t planned anything else so will sit around reading if I can. I might do a meal plan too.

“@ZetaPuppis your meal plan sounds very nourishing! Hope you feel better very soon.

I didn’t plan today in my CGD Getting Stuff Done planner last night. And now I’m on the sofa, drinking coffee, watching truly awful TV and mumsnetting... I think there’s a connection. Planning the day the night before is really focussing - although you tend to overestimate your energy and levels of “be arsed”-ness the night before. The next day it’s easy to hate Yesterday You’s Drill Sergeant plans.

Today I’d like to:

• Take my parents’ dog for a walk and pick blackberries
• Make blackberry jam
• Go into town with DH
• Smoke ribs on the bbq
• Lose 3 stone
• Have a shower, get dressed and magically look 20 years younger
• Develop a craving for salad, and a hatred of chocolate

I’ll see how I get on.

I love that you have ‘lose 3 stone’ as part of today’s plan
If only.....

So far, my nectarine and raspberry porridge made with coconut milk did feel v healthy.
Lentil soup with ginger and garlic will be too, hopefully.
I’ve already logged 8,300 steps from meeting a friend for a walk and natter.
Long may this continue.

Checking back in! It’s been a busy week with work and dd starting secondary school. She seems to be loving it - long may it continue.
I’m really really tempted to order that organiser book but struggling to justify the price. We’re already severely limping towards payday next Friday when I MUST sort out the budget so I don’t end up in this mess again.
I’ve managed to keep on top of the house / laundry and things are fairly organised.

@Joyfulincolour - I found a discount code (posted upthread) that gives 15 or 20% off. To be honest, it’s not a life-changing planner. It’s good, and writing stuff down DEFINITELY helps. But honestly you could get the same effect with a 50p notebook from Tesco. 😆

Do you want me to post pictures of the pages so you can do the same headings?

@ZetaPuppis — unfortunately, it seems losing 3 stone in a day is impossible. Hmm.

I have noticed these posts have something in common. The things you want to change are all things that are within your power to change. It seems your lives are busy and you are most likely over tired, possibly stressed, but there is nothing fundamentally wrong and your lives are all very fortunate with work and family over filling your days. I suppose I’m saying count your blessings and then when something niggles you like losing weight and getting on top of the decorating remember it is something that you can eventually sort out and it’s not an insurmountable problem. Don’t let these quite small issues spoil a lovely life. I learnt this lesson after a cancer diagnosis resulted in being asked to keep my weight into a fairly narrow band because the medication had been tailored to my body weight. Chemo nausea coupled with steroid weight gain caused big seesaw alterations in weight and when I apologised to the doctor for my Inability to keep my weight stable he said “don’t worry about it, you can easily sort out weight loss or weight gain afterwards, let’s just address the big problem of the cancer first.“ Ever since then I have been able to differentiate between what you can sort out and what you can’t. The problem is you are struggling with are the sortable ones so take heart, you will get on top of it all. And by the way, the cancer was 14 years ago and I have my weight sorted out and I am very well today but it taught me not to sweat the small stuff.

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo yes please! A photo would be great. I could make my own notebook to see if I keep at it.
@Isthisblocked - of course you are absolutely right. As the Baz Luhrmann song says, "the real troubles in your life are those things that blindside you on some idle Tuesday." Weight, finances and grubby houses are all minor irritations that creep up on us over time but we want rid of them in an instant! Thank you for the perspective- it's good to be reminded.

Yes, all that and my mental health is pretty crap too.

Well I've had a busy few days and my motivation went a bit AWOL. I need to check in couple of times a day I think, to keep me on the straight and narrow!

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo I've got the 30 day shred on DVD and I really need to get on with starting it in the evenings when the DC are in bed. Just recently I haven't had the energy. I need to start going to bed earlier I think! And I've taken the body lotion out of the bathroom and put it by my bed. Haven't actually started using it yet but I will tonight. You can tell me off if I don't.

Yy to more bedroom action. There's little to none here atm, we are just both so tired I think. It always feels good when there's more though 

@proseccoaficionado Definitely not too late to join, the more the merrier!

@Isthisblocked Never a truer word was spoken. They are all the small stuff but at times it's hard to put into perspective and have the motivation or energy to change them. Perhaps I will approach the changes I want to make more positively now, rather than feeling I've failed if I haven't cleaned the house or lost 2 stone. I'm glad to hear you are well after having had cancer.

Right, I'm going to watch one episode of American horror story and then go to bed. If I'm in bed before 11, it'll be an early night for me, I've been managing on about 5 hours a night for weeks and I need to take better care of myself!

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo should you find the trick of losing three stone in a day, please share

I've actually had a pretty good day in terms of food, just need to find the trick of having more time in the evenings to do my Shred DVD. I only have two hours in the morning whilst the DC are at school so it doesn't give me enough time.

Thank you for your insight @Isthisblocked and very pleased to hear that you are well, healthy and enjoying life now useful to have some perspective on this!

The post holiday cleaning and tidying is progressing well; however I still need to:

• clean the kitchen
• clean the bathroom
• tidy up the loft
• tidy the garden

Plus get on with organising and wrapping birthday presents for the DC and two of my friends. Now the DC are a bit older they will definitely notice any presents I try to smuggle into the house whilst they're around!

I need to join you too. Life is a bit feral!

Same here.
We're having the whole house redone room by room, and we've started with the kitchen (which, in my defence, is kept perfectly clean).
But, because I know all of other rooms are being done soon, I'm hardly doing anything around the rest of the house other than the kitchen.
I'm an absolute disgrace, I'm putting weight on, and I really need to get my act together.

@Isthisblocked — I love your post. I keep re-reading it. You’re so right, all these chores and stressors are blessings. I know I’ll miss it all when it’s over and the D.C. are living their own lives, and poor DH has dropped dead of heart failure when I’ve leapt on him once too often.

Thanks for sharing that. I loved it. And I’m delighted you’re well and here to write it!

I have t written in my Planner since Saturday, and also haven’t done anything since Saturday. Coincidence? Or is the planner in fact loaded with Magical Motivation Mojo dust..?

Sorry I keep forgetting/being too lazy (SEE?) to photograph the images but I’ll do that ASAP.

I borrowed a book off my mum on Saturday and honestly al I’ve done yesterday and today is - and this is shameful to admit - lie in bed and read the sodding thing. I have seen the D.C. off to school and leapt up and showered, guiltily, before they’ve got home, and had bay evenings cooking and clearing up and cleaning.. but the days have been a write off.

I didn’t even love the book. I just got strangely trapped. It was Winter Solstice by Rosalind Pilcher. Load of rubbish really, as people were forever dropping conveniently dead and leaving houses to each other just when they were most needed, etc. And every cup of tea (of which there were millions) were described as “restorative”, by every character. And written in chapters, so you’d hear different characters telling you the same information in turn, but all in the same tone of voice as they weren’t really very different... But the characters were weirdly lovable. All posh, like Jilly Cooper characters. I couldn’t —be bothered to— put it down.

So now my life is in tatters, I’ve GAINED 3 stone in 2 days as all I’ve done is drink restorative cups of tea and shovel cakes into my face, while turning pages.

But very restful.

Oh those typos.

HAVEN’T not have t
BUSY evenings, not bay
ROSAMUNDE not Rosalind

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo sounds like a blissful couple of days! Sometimes restorative cups of tea are needed.

I've not been very well today so didn't go into work (cannot remember the last time I took a day off sick). I slept for most of the morning and then pottered but I've no energy at all. I'm off on Friday for the day anyway, so just need to get through the next couple of days at work and then it's the weekend. I'm hoping my energy comes back soon!

Don’t beat yourself up about having a restorative day off, obviously you can’t do it every day but it was followed by a busy evening so a bit of spare time in the day doesn’t seem too much of an indulgence. It probably made you a whole lot better tempered with the DCs in the evening. Only thing I’d complain about is that if you are going to give yourself a bit time off make sure you really enjoy it, choose a book you love and don’t guilt trip yourself about the cake, call it a bit of a rare time out and really enjoy it. Then return to normal life feeling like you’ve had a bit of a treat. You’ll do the boring chores with better spirits (and temper) then. And thank you for your kindness in telling me you were pleased to hear I have made a good recovery from my cancer. I’m having a couple of nights away from home at the moment for a walking day with friends and really enjoying the seaside, the cliffs and the fish and chips! A bit of a treat and time out for me too before returning to the mundane necessities of life.

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo: sometimes we all need some down time! wish I had more but it's not compatible with toddlers

Hope you're feeling better today @MillieMoodle. I was absolutely wiped out last week and couldn't face moving from the sofa one afternoon. It was Pizza Hut to the rescue for dinner, unfortunately.....

I love a trip to the seaside @Isthisblocked! Sadly we live nowhere near but that makes it even nicer when we go on hols.

I had a couple of wake up calls yesterday; firstly my DM became quite ill with breathlessness. She's improving now (awaiting further tests) but it reminded me how crippled she is by her osteoarthritis - and she doesn't have to be, she just has such a dislike of hospitals that she won't go for treatment. Aaaarrrrggghhhh.

Secondly I finally realised that my constantly blocked nose isn't due to hayfever but more likely an intolerance to wheat or dairy! I don't eat much dairy anyway but it's made me more determined to cut out wheat for a bit and see if that helps. I've also been consulting Doctor Google about 'osteoarthritis prevention' as I'm scared of ending up like my mum, but it doesn't seem like there's much I can do specifically, it's more general advice like 'lose any excess weight' and 'exercise regularly'. More motivation to get my act together and lose the lard!

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo @RubySlippers77 exhausted reddened feet up in my B&B after my walking day along the cliff tops and have the embarrassment today of realising my four walking friends much slimmer and fitter than I am.....I don’t have a huge amount of weight to lose but I’m beginning to realise that even half a stone is going to make my life a whole lot better. Well, call it 7- 10lbs, that is doable isn’t it ? And that is a whole dress size and easily achievable by Christmas . Come on, we can do it! Xxx

Can I join?

Struggling with housework, overweight after 2 kids (youngest is 6 weeks) and always feel scruffy!
Would love for dh to come home to a sparkling house and wife lol

@Mrsmummy90 of course you can join. Everyone feels this way. Some people have the knack of presenting themselves better so they look in control (I’m good at that actually) but everyone has the hopeless/helpless days. It’s normal. The way to control it is to accept its normal,give yourself a bit of time off now and again (a bit of a lazy day without guilt sometimes) and that, coupled with doing a little bit towards the positive every day soon gets results. My current project is that absolutely nothing comes into the house without two things going out. One year on the clutter is diminishing. Warning - you may have to lie about throwing stuff out. Also weight loss - if I lose half a pound in a week I’m happy, it’s not much but it’s the right direction, Don’t set yourself huge goals, just do a couple of little things daily that are getting you on the right direction and by Christmas or by next summer there will be less clutter/a slimmer silhouette/a fitter you. My personal projects are a huge decluttering (big house, been living there since we were married, every nook and cranny full of long discarded projects), more stimulating social life (that one is going well because it began from a low base) and 10lbs off by Xmas. Nothing too scary there but will all contribute greatly to my general sense of happiness (and better temper all round). Xxx

@Mrsmummy90 PS just realised you are six weeks postpartum . Are you mad? Give yourself a break. Of course everything is upside down, you’re hormonal and exhausted. You are also the mum of two beauties that you grew and created. You’re a goddess! Follow the advice, even goddesses have to try to rejoin the rest of the judgemental world but cut yourself a bit of slack. It gets much easier and though it seems like forever now it’s over in a flash and suddenly you’re back on top of everything. Go easy on yourself right now. Xxx

I love you, @isthisblocked — you’re so wise and kind. It’s like being visited by a Fairy Godmother who strikes your hair and tells you everything’s going to be ok.