Outraged at what I've seen! My blood is boiling. Disabled boy mimicked

[coffeeandapastry]

Hi,

So this actually happened yesterday afternoon..

My DD and I went to watch the new Dora film (could have done with a few GnTs to get me through that, but that's another story) and we had allocated seats. I noticed a boy and his mum or sister, sat in one of our seats, but because the cinema was quite quiet, I certainly wasn't going to make an issue out of it, plus I noticed the boy had some form of mental and physical disability.

Anyway, we get to the end of the film (thank goodness!!) and we get up and leave. We are walking behind the boy and his mum/sister and it's clear that he has issues with his mobility. He is walking unaided, but needs quite a bit of guidance. I also notice that he had quite a severe skin condition and he is scratching himself a lot. My heart goes out to him.

As we come out of the cinema, into the carpark, I notice a couple of teenagers- 15 or 16 I'd say and they looked as though they were a couple. The boy and his mum/sister walk past them and my first thought was, 'that's something really good about this generation, kids are generally kinder with this kind of thing', but seconds later, I see the teen boy walk behind the other boy, copying his walk and scratching his arms, also making a sort of zombie noise The girl he is with bursts into fits of laughter and my arms go numb with rage. I stood next to my car and just eyeballed them until the boy got into the car, as I didn't want to draw any attention to what had just happened whilst he or his mum/sister were around. I walk over and asked if I actually just saw what I thought I saw and they both went completely silent and put their heads down. Hopefully that indicates shame as well as embarrassment. I told him that his behaviour was disgusting and he should be ashamed and walked back to my car.

On the drive home, as the anger started to subside, I felt so sad. Sad that kids still do this and they weren't even kids really. How can they not see that this boys life is hard enough without being mimicked and laughed at ffs! I had a few tears when I got back, because I was so incredibly sad and disappointed.

My DD was telling me in the car that someone spat at a boy in her year who has ASD and told me things like that happen all the time. Maybe I was being naive. I know there will always be teasing and bullying and not just with kids, but I really didn't think this sort of behaviour was that common anymore. I honestly thought we'd moved on.

Sorry, not sure why I'm posting. Probably just needed to vent.

I feel as though I need my faith restoring tbh.

My child walks in an obviously different manner. He has staring and questions but hopefully not nastiness yet. Who knows though when he goes to secondary school next year.

Don’t be amazed but keep challenging it. Young people sometimes need guidance on stuff like this. You did the right thing.

Well done for tackling them.

Donald Trump did the same to a disabled reporter. When we've got world leaders that act like this, it's no surprise when young people do it.

I've tried to pick people up on it and get told I'm being PC, a snowflake. No, I've just got decent manners.

I don't condone this behaviour. At ALL.

But as humans we have evolved purely through survival of the fittest. On some level our brains are genetically wired for those who are stronger to feel more superior and seek to maintain that genetic superiority. This is usually an unconscious thing.

Sadly, this often results in ignorance of actions and behaviour being played out that wouldn't occur otherwise.

Well there’s a thread going at the moment where 85% of respondents think that someone is unreasonable to find a joke about a disability in poor taste. So apparently this stuff is “free speech”. OP well done for how you dealt with it

Nope, it never stops. I'm disabled and so are both of my kids and our experience leads us to believe that on the whole, people are utter shits.

I did wonder actually, if I'd be told that I should have left it, but whereas I know calling it out isn't going to guarantee that they won't do something like this again, it might make them stop and think in future.

I'm so sorry to those who have experienced this personally.

There really is no excuse. It doesn't matter where it comes from. Whether it's subconsciously seeking out the weak or not. It's wrong. End of.

On behalf of my son who has Tourettes, thank you. He doesn't have much in the way of vocal tics, but people take the piss out of him because he does have facial tics and gross motor tics. People are horrid. Having said that, he's also received a great deal of help from strangers. One wonders though where the bar is when we're grateful for people doing the right thing for those with disabilities, obviously our expectations are set to the minimum!

Sounds like normal teanage behaviour, they always have someone to take the micky out off, disability, hair, race, grades, clothes, anything is free game. (Not that its right and well done for holding them to account.)

Normal scumbag teenage behaviour, as no teenager I know would do this.

Good on you OP, for calling them out on it!

not "normal teenage behaviour"
vile sickening behaviour.
thanks for saying something op.
sadly it is too common. dd used to get stared at a lot (disabled wheelchair user) main culprits were adults. I have stopped noticing now.

I think you did the right thing. I had a similar thing happen recently. I was sat in a queue at a McD's drive through with my two kids (21 and 8) after a very very long drive where we were all hungry and fractious and it was late. 8 yo DS is autistic (which teens in question wouldn't have known, but they could see he was a small child). I happened to glance round to see this kid doing wanking motions to DS and then stick his middle fingers up at him. DS was looking but had no idea what was meant by it. I just put my window down and said as loudly but as calmly as I could "he's a little boy, why don't you grow up instead of showing off in front of your mates". He started to protest and front it out and I just said "we all saw you". The friends were giggling but were covering their eyes, clearly embarrassed. They needed to be told. Utterly disgusting behaviour.

So, on behalf of my DS, who does attract negative attention at times because of his behaviours, thank you OP

People (particularly teenagers showing off) can be very cruel. My boyfriend has a mild physical disability that effects his hands and feet, if he is physically fatigued he does have a bit of an unusual walk.

Sometimes people look (but we’re all guilty at noticing things we find unusual), he was recently called a spag by some drunk guys. I had to ignore it as if I had said something in front of him he would have been mortified, if I had had the chance to say something without him knowing I would have done.

Donald Trump did the same to a disabled reporter. When we've got world leaders that act like this, it's no surprise when young people do it.

This ^^

It still gives me the rage when I think of Trump mocking him. Absolute disgrace of a man.

Well done on challenging them. Credit to you (excellent example to set your DD too)

Not all teens are like this. They are probably learning this behaviour from parents. My DD is happy to wade in at school if a child getting bullied because I've brought her up to do that.

If people don’t question such behaviour like you did then people won’t stop and think.

From the mother of a disabled child thank you.

Thank you for pointing out to them their horrible rudeness.

My son is autistic. He 'stims' alot especially when anxious/doing something new.
At a swimming lesson (swimming is particularly hard as mobility issues) he was stood on the side doing his stimming little jumps and noises before lesson began. 3 adults at the side of the pool copied him and laughed and laughed. I was in the viewing area too far to shout at them and couldn't have trusted myself to not cry/push them in. So had to make do with a complaint to the pool manager. When I think about it it still upsets me.

So thank you for knowing life is hard enough when you don't tick the 'normal' box without being an utter arsehole mocking.

@ISayWhatNow there's loads of stuff I'd like to do or unconscious thoughts I have but I don't act on them because I'm a civilised human being. (although not anything this horrible more like wanting to tell annoying colleagues where to go) So your argument that we're genetically predisposed to dislike disabilities and 'weakness' is poor. You didn't seem to be excusing this behaviour but I really don't thing your argument is helpful.

Sadly, I think I read that abuse of disabled people is on the increase. I’m glad you said something to them, OP, and I hope they felt shame.

And this is why we don't go to mainstream stuff and stick to.disability stuff ,ds2 is nine and non verbal he has complex needs he shouts out quite A lot ,most of the time it's like water off a ducks back to us and ds is oblivious ,if someone takes the piss though I get incredibly angry with them it's total ignorance .

No one wants to admit that their children would do something like this, but we are all sheep

You did the right thing in telling them off. I’m heartbroken too that this still happens. Kids are kids and they won’t know it’s wrong until they’re told!

Well done for tackling them. The chances are they will think twice about doing stuff like that in the future.

Hopefully you speaking to him will make him think, total little shite I get that there is pressure on teens but making fun of people to make yourself look ‘big’ or whatever it is they think they are is awful and I’d hope none of my boys would ever do that.