Outraged at what I've seen! My blood is boiling. Disabled boy mimicked

[coffeeandapastry]

Hi,

So this actually happened yesterday afternoon..

My DD and I went to watch the new Dora film (could have done with a few GnTs to get me through that, but that's another story) and we had allocated seats. I noticed a boy and his mum or sister, sat in one of our seats, but because the cinema was quite quiet, I certainly wasn't going to make an issue out of it, plus I noticed the boy had some form of mental and physical disability.

Anyway, we get to the end of the film (thank goodness!!) and we get up and leave. We are walking behind the boy and his mum/sister and it's clear that he has issues with his mobility. He is walking unaided, but needs quite a bit of guidance. I also notice that he had quite a severe skin condition and he is scratching himself a lot. My heart goes out to him.

As we come out of the cinema, into the carpark, I notice a couple of teenagers- 15 or 16 I'd say and they looked as though they were a couple. The boy and his mum/sister walk past them and my first thought was, 'that's something really good about this generation, kids are generally kinder with this kind of thing', but seconds later, I see the teen boy walk behind the other boy, copying his walk and scratching his arms, also making a sort of zombie noise The girl he is with bursts into fits of laughter and my arms go numb with rage. I stood next to my car and just eyeballed them until the boy got into the car, as I didn't want to draw any attention to what had just happened whilst he or his mum/sister were around. I walk over and asked if I actually just saw what I thought I saw and they both went completely silent and put their heads down. Hopefully that indicates shame as well as embarrassment. I told him that his behaviour was disgusting and he should be ashamed and walked back to my car.

On the drive home, as the anger started to subside, I felt so sad. Sad that kids still do this and they weren't even kids really. How can they not see that this boys life is hard enough without being mimicked and laughed at ffs! I had a few tears when I got back, because I was so incredibly sad and disappointed.

My DD was telling me in the car that someone spat at a boy in her year who has ASD and told me things like that happen all the time. Maybe I was being naive. I know there will always be teasing and bullying and not just with kids, but I really didn't think this sort of behaviour was that common anymore. I honestly thought we'd moved on.

Sorry, not sure why I'm posting. Probably just needed to vent.

I feel as though I need my faith restoring tbh.

After the murder of a colleague of my DD last week in Newcastle, tbh I wouldn't intervene now. He was the loveliest man (her work dad) murdered in broad daylight in a shopping mall. He allegedly intervened in a fight between teens and died 3 seconds later.

From mocking the disabled to attacking an innocent man.... what can be done? They aren't taught right from wrong and the outcome of that ranges from pure disrespect to to actual murder. My blood is also boiling over the scum who did this.

I remember being shocked at Trump doing that, sad world we live in sometimes. You handled it well OP.

Donald Trump did the same to a disabled reporter. When we've got world leaders that act like this, it's no surprise when young people do it
^ YES THIS.
Why the actual fuck did people vote for him? Why did even one person vote for him? I felt sick when I saw him do it on tv. I think I would be sicker if saw it front of me.
Little bastards!

The only way that this will change is when people are held to account for their vile behaviour. You made a difference by not being passive, and more than that, your daughter saw what you did.
You are the one restoring the faith of others.

@ISayWhatNow that's not survival of the fittest. Darwin's theory relates to fitness for the specific environment, for example, birds with longer beaks will be more successful in areas where this mutation is an advantage. It's not being fit and strong.

My DS has SN and sticks out, he also likes to walk a few, steps ahead as it makes him feel independent. He's been targeted countless times, mainly by older people in all honesty. We recently had a group of pensioners ridiculing him on the bus. They had the damned cheek to argue when I stepped in. We've had one man prosecuted so far for verbal abuse (( someone I recognised and an independent witness came forward )) and he's had two experiences that left him with PTSD. Walking round with him is quite interesting, people often think he's alone and we really do see the scum float to the top.

Only yesterday he was called a bloody simpleton by an older guy he'd walked into. Yes, he'd walked into him, but he'd also apologised for it.........he shit himself when my dp tapped him on the shoulder and said ' your problem is you've been living too long'. Ageist ? Yes, probably. But meh. I'm done caring.

Some of these stories are just so awful. How can this be so common?

Was going to say I'm shocked at how many of you are mentioning adults being as or more abusive, but actually I'm not. Some of the most disgusting things I've heard regarding race, disability, sexuality etc are from the older generations.

@Cahu58 Oh my god I'm so sorry to hear that, Jesus Christ 🙁

@coffeeandapastry My parents didn't speak to me for nearly a week once when I was about 20 because I intervened in a violent domestic in the street.

At the time I was pissed off they weren't proud of me but the older I get and the more young family members I have and love, I can totally see it from their point of view being worried about my safety.

I have a huge scar since an operation last year, so nowhere near the things other people have to contend with. I went to the local shop about half an hour ago and had two adult women murmuring about it behind me. It happens every single time I go out - I had no idea how much this happens until it was me people were murmuring about or pointing at.

I actually find it's people 40+ who make comments in my experience but that's purely anecdotal.

A woman (total stranger) actually came up to me last week and said it must be awful for me when it's hot because I can't cover it up easily and that (even though she was a stranger) it's good it's on the back of my arm so I don't have to look at it myself... bloody hell!!

Sadly I've got used to it but I think I'm almost lucky it's something people wince at rather than taking the piss out of. I actually love my scar now it's a badge of honour for surviving!

BUT if I saw it happen to someone else, especially a kid, I'd have done the same as you - well done for being brave I'm sorry it shook you up. I'm glad they were embarrassed at least so do know deep down it's wrong 

That is so sad. I really hope the boy and his mum didn't notice. Well done OP for doing that.

It comes from all age groups but adults are the worst and in my experience, women are the worst. Especially middle class/middle aged women.

The worst I've experienced was while being served at a supermarket. The woman behind me turned to the woman behind her, pointed at me and laughing said 'If I was like that I'd kill myself'. Both women burst out laughing and the checkout woman was obviously trying not to laugh. I felt so humiliated that I did actually consider killing myself.

Oh and I once heard a boy saying disgusting things about my scar with his brother, along the lines of she'd be quite fit if it wasn't for that scar it's gross etc

His parents were nearby - I told them their son was making nasty comments about a stranger and they told me to fuck off and mind my own business.

My mum and dad would have gone MAD at me if someone told them I'd said that, and apologised profusely. And we didn't have a pot to piss in, so I hate when I moan now about comments like that and people imply it's lack of education or (I hate this word) a "class" thing that makes people so rude. It's basic decency.

@ImNotYourGranny

It comes from all age groups but adults are the worst and in my experience, women are the worst. Especially middle class/middle aged women.

This is 100% my experience too - I thought it might just be me but seems to be the same for lots of posters on here

Actually wanted to add, I'm really sorry if this has been triggering for anyone. I didn't think about that before posting.

I was always grateful that my son’s reaction to being mocked and taunted as a child was incandescent fury. His older sister used to internalise it, shake and spiral downwards to anxiety and depression.
Guess who has the more robust mental health as adults?
They do both challenge attitudes now, with calm words. My youngest DD is NT but very fierce about ‘othering’

Thank you OP

You did the right thing, absolutely. Thank you for saying something. It’s possible you just made a real difference to those kids. I think people sometimes do shitty things like that, trying to be funny or impress a girlfriend/boyfriend, but really don’t think about how nasty it is. I remember my little 5 foot tall mom taking on a group of much taller, muscle bound teenage boys who were teasing another boy with Downs. I was so proud of her, and the boys backed right off. My mom made them apologize to the teased boy, who really sweetly told them it was okay and thanked them for apologizing. I hope it made a real impression on those teens.

On some level our brains are genetically wired for those who are stronger to feel more superior and seek to maintain that genetic superiority.
Where on earth did you get that rubbish from?

Building - that's what I meant when I said the behaviour is a sign of ignorance/lack of education. And if your thoughts are unconscious then you can't consciously act on them.

D - it very much is genetic instinct for survival of the fittest. Go right back to the earliest cave people and the weakest (mentally and physically) died because they didn't have the ability/wherewithal to go out and hunt and gather. Whereas the stronger people survived.

I suppose what I'm trying to get at is that there may be an underlying instinct but in no way does it excuse the appalling behaviour. OP was quite right to haul them up on it. They need to learn exactly how wrong and unfair it is.

Dr - it's fact. I read a very interesting academic paper on this exact topic recently.

Apologies OP- I do realise that this is de-railing your thread. I'll stop posting now. And I think you did exactly the right thing - well done.

Teenagers are literal (maybe not literal) psychopaths. They show less empathy towards others in studies than toddlers 😬😳

I'm glad you tackled them although you were brave to, around some places you may have been met with a different response. They were being pricks and need telling. They should no better but sometimes being funny is not as important as being nice (see this as a rule for society at the moment sadly).

Some people are utter dickheads, this made me feel so sad. Well done for challenging them, that takes guts

But as humans we have evolved purely through survival of the fittest. On some level our brains are genetically wired for those who are stronger to feel more superior and seek to maintain that genetic superiority.

So those who are stronger, but who protect and nurture those less strong are an "abnormality" then ? Excusing cuntish behaviour - like paying the Danegeld - only encourages it.

When we're in a world where parents even of reception kids think it's OK to encourage their kids to keep away from those who "walk funny" or "can't talk proper" - you can see how it happens (both descriptions used by one parent - whose child has thankfully left the school now - against DD2 at that age).

I am dreading DD2 going up to the Junior school the year after this as I know then we'll get the really nasty comments about her speech difficulties or strange run and walk etc. She's had a couple from kids in the year above her already (the kids are now in the Juniors).

At least she now has enough speech to let adults know what's going on.