I do not have enough drama in my life

[LaMarschallin]

I shouldn't be allowed on MN.

I've never fum(m)ed. I've never immediately told anybody to fuck off when they've done something to inconvenience me ( I sort of writhe and say things like, "Could you possibly do x instead...).

I don't draw lines (especially when it seems like the tide might wash them away anyway - sorry, this does refer to a recent post saying, "You've got to draw the line somewhere". I thought "Why there?. What a waste of energy". However I know we shouldn't refer to recent posts).

I don't immediately go NC if my MiL (or any other relative) irritates me.

I've never even been incandescent! I don't even know what that really means (unless it's like spontaneously combustion).

I probably wouldn't even post here if I fell out with someone.

And I'm obviously too pathetic to post on AIBU.

There's no hope for me.

Sorry I killed your thread OP.

Oh gosh, don't be sorry.

I do it all the time (seriously now: after posting on another message board and having no responses, I toyed with the idea of having "Threadkiller" as a user name here. But worried it might sound a bit pass/ag.

Dodged that bullet...)

PS I could try to fume if it would help.

Can't be doing the 😂 thing because I've got sinus trouble.

You can borrow my mother if you like OP, she was terrified when A MAN knocked at my door in the middle of the afternoon. She did a cat's bum face and flounced when I suggested she opened the door and asked him what he wanted.

She also passive aggressively rearranges my soap dish and hand-wash and insists on washing the dishes instead of filling the dishwasher. Evil, narcissistic bitch 😥😥😥

Seriously, she makes fucking ambulance noices.
WIBU to nip round and bludgeon her to death. It's bloody tedious.

No. Not at all.
But could you possibly make sure her death screams don't wake up LO?

OP, please use this handy guide to track your progress to utter RAGE..plot the numbers on a graph or something.......

1. You're not arsed, you're as chilled as penguin's backside.
2. XYZ has made you exhale a little louder than usual (aka sighing).
3. XYZ has made you 'tut' quietly.
4. Ditto 2) and 3) but increase the volume.
5. XYZ has made you say ' oh bother, fiddletsicks' out loud.
6. You now want everyone and everything to FOTTFSOF, you want to go NC and throttle your MIL if she gives DC another diet coke.

Quite a big leap between 5 and 6 I know!

Maybe ya just don't give a fuck, op?

I'm generally a very laid back person apart from when it comes to my DH. He only has to breathe the wrong way and I'm seething

Start with an easy one: get offended by an obvious joke which doesn't affect you.