If you were a billionaire, what's the most ridiculous and indulgent thing you would use your money for?

[Vasya]

Setting aside for the moment the fact that the existence of billionaires is a sign of a broken economy and they shouldn't exist... what is the most self-indulgent, ridiculous thing you would pay for if you were one?

I'll start:

1. Hire Stevie Nicks to work with me to write a love song about my husband.

1. Host a dinner party catered by Alain Passard

1. Daily back, neck and shoulder aromatherapy massage before bed

(And I don't want any worthy suggestions about world hunger and scholarship programmes. That stuff is all assumed. I want the fun, stupid stuff you could have just because you were rich enough.)

Driver
Cleaner
Hairdresser
& Fresh flowers in the house just brought and sorted
Oh and some lovely person who would work out what to have for dinner each day and just make it.

I'll leave the yacht for others.

Fresh flowers in every room.

@SciFiScream, make it so!

You can all keep your line dried sheets, housekeepers and helicopters, I'm having a holodeck.

Mine are quite ordinary/boring:

1. Fresh cut flowers all over my mansion every day

1. I’d never drive anywhere myself

1. Hair and make up done professionally every day

1. Stylist

1. Chef

1. I’d hire Alton Towers to myself/friends and family

All travel first class; a small yacht with crew and chef to take me wherever I fancy. Actually I can't think of too much else. Really lovely holiday accommodation.

Large house with lots of land, plant lavender and wild flowers and open a free range bee sanctuary.

I've always wanted a soft play swimming pool. Somewhere we could jump off stuff completely safely, all styled on a tropical lagoon idea.

I think about it quite a bit!

Other than the standard cleaner/chef/personal trainer I would pay to have someone take me to a new place once a week- I reckon I'd tot up a great number of experiences!

Chauffeurs at my beck and call 24 hours a day. I don't drive so having someone to drive me around would be brilliant.

I would always stay in the best suites at 5 star hotels as well if I could afford it.

A walk in wardrobe full of Nike trainers
A box at my football teams ground
Personal hairdresser to do my hair every day

I'd have to have to be able to go everywhere with no other people to satisfy my hatred of waiting in queues and tolerating dawdling.
Pay the cinema to only open for me.
Hairdresser/beauty salon open only for me.
Every shop only open for me.
All the roads only open for me.
Tourist hot spots.
Every restaurant and bar...

Ah the bliss

I’d go to America for a couple of months and have my teeth and nose fixed, and liposuction all of me.

I’d have one of those epic swimming pools in my garden with real stone and waterfalls and sunken beds.

I’d rescue all the cats in the UK and let them live on their own private estate.

I’d have an all day cleaner/housekeeper and never do a load of washing again.

I’d have a giant fine net erected around my property that electrocutes all wasps that try to enter. While I sit drinking on the decking with strawberries that they can’t get.

I would have a personal tickler on hand constantly. Like a masseuse but to tickle me instead 😍

If I could get someone cook healthy dinners that my kids would eat I'd be happy and grateful for all eternity.

My husband whatever he wanted.

A luxury dog kennel/house for all my furries - they’re little shit bags but god I love them and they deserve the world.

Hire someone to help care for said shit bags for when I travel.

Personal shopper/stylist because k still haven’t EVER found anything that suits me. I don’t understand fashion or style and I’m in my twenties.

@mrspotatohed
Oh god yes. Also a personal back tickler!

Take a trip through the Northwest passage, and see where the Erebus and Terror ended up.
Have a yacht on standby so I could go anywhere I wanted, and only staffed by very camp men.
Hire someone to berate David Cameron for being a spineless arsehole.

Hire someone to berate David Cameron for being a spineless arsehole.

Ooh yes - I’d hire some people to follow certain politicians around and just shout “Cunt” at them.

I’ve thought of another one - I’d have a MASSIVE aquarium. Like, the size of the big tanks you get at proper aquariums. I’d hire people to look after it and i’d go SCUBA diving in it as often as an animal expert says is allowable to avoid stressing the fish, sharks, and turtles out.

I’ve just spent some time on Rightmove looking at properties and it’s insane - i’m happily looking at a property in my perfect city, with a lovely sized garden and beautiful bedrooms; and it’s only £1.6M! Looking at the £30M+ Country mansions is actually really intimidating - how would you even be able to enjoy all those rooms? I do love the idea of both an indoor and outdoor swimming pool... they all seem to come with tennis courts and stables though; and I dislike tennis and fucking hate horses!

@ChrisPrattsFace deffo! I thought I had one when I met by bf but he is sick of my shit now

I'd buy a hotel resort and RUN IT PROPERLY! Why can't companies seem to do this for all the poor people paying a fortune!

I'd have:

A hairdresser and make up artist to get me ready each morning. Nothing OTT, just a nice natural look but I'm hopeless with both.

Fresh flowers.

A library.

A driver.

A full time cleaner.

Large gardens with a team to keep them tidy.

A chef.

A PA to sort all the life admin.

Nannies. So many nannies.

YY to many donkeys.

Some lovely cars and a nice big gun palace boat to take holidays off the Amalfi coast.

Id fund lots of smaller charities. I'd set up a university scholarship scheme.

I'd have some fucking massive diamonds.

I'd have massive bowls and vases of fresh flowers in every room.

A personal yogi or trainer every day.

Definitely a chauffeur. Lots of staff to keep the house immaculate and all clothes ironed which they never are.

An orangerie overlooking a wide lawn, where I'd do yoga every morning.

Everything everyone else said, especially a Holodeck! Full staff, obv.
Plus a person to exfoliate and moisturise my entire body three times a week. Totally tedious. I would hire Stephen Fry to read to me whilst this was happening.

A big glass bubble that I can live in (sort of like a round, see through tiny house) that I can take to all sorts of locations to live and admire the view, and then have moved when I get tired of looking at that particular view. It will have glass that tints in various areas at the push of a button (so nobody can look in but I can still see out), and I can have my own bed (with line dried fresh linen every day, obvs) at night. A bit like a round, glass caravan. Sort of.

Personal masseuse, chef, shopper too, but those are a bit common, so I wouldn't admit to them. I'd just be giant glass bubble lady.

A driver and a housekeeper. A huge expanse of land so I can build houses for all my loved ones.
I would build my sister a church and invite a group of traditionalist French monks to live there, establish a kitchen garden and say daily Mass, Benediction, Rosary, Stations of the Cross etc etc. The church would be surrounded by rare breed sheep and goats which are permitted to wander in and out at will. This is a long held dream of my sister. I love her dearly but she is crackers.