If you were a billionaire, what's the most ridiculous and indulgent thing you would use your money for?

[Vasya]

Setting aside for the moment the fact that the existence of billionaires is a sign of a broken economy and they shouldn't exist... what is the most self-indulgent, ridiculous thing you would pay for if you were one?

I'll start:

1. Hire Stevie Nicks to work with me to write a love song about my husband.

1. Host a dinner party catered by Alain Passard

1. Daily back, neck and shoulder aromatherapy massage before bed

(And I don't want any worthy suggestions about world hunger and scholarship programmes. That stuff is all assumed. I want the fun, stupid stuff you could have just because you were rich enough.)

I'd hire a barbers shop quartet to sing me through my day

I’d move to England and buy a big, very very old country house on a few acres. I’d fill it with antiques and invite MN friends to come stay with me for a mini vacay. I’d have monthly parties to meet new people. I think I’d probably go to London on shopping expeditions too. And I’d travel Europe in style with my new friends.
Ahhh to dream...

First, I would buy my husband the 840 acres of good farm land he dreams about, but section off 40 acres. I would use part that land to build my husband a couple of large sheds and fill them with the farm equipment, vehicles and tools he would think he needs.
Second, I would build a huge play park for the children, complete with a heated Olympic sized swimming pool.
Third, I am taking the last of the land and building a large, modern home, complete with ensuite bathrooms for every bedroom, a cinema, a man-cave, a playroom and an oversized kitchen. I would hire a house keeper for the cleaning. My ensuite would be connected to my very large walk-in closet, and contain an over-sized shower with a separate giant jetted garden tub. Then while Dad and the kids are busy with the tractors and play park, I can finally have a nice relaxing bath.

A beast and blow dry every 2 days - and someone to do my makeup.

A wash and blow dry! Maybe my own proof reader 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would hire lots of clever people to sprinkle wild flower seeds in public places that would grow into lovely nectar-rich flowers for butterflies and I would be so powerful that the councils would not cut the wildflowers down.

All the Chanel shoes I like (including the ones I tried on in 2011 but couldn't find ever again, I'd just get them to make a pair just for me) in a bedroom just for them.
2 Weimeraners, 2 Kooikerhonjes and 2 Stabyhouns to keep Resident Collie company.
7/8 Andalusian horses so I could ride a different one each day and breed the cutest foals ever. Oh a couple of Trakheners in the herd too.
I also want a herd of reindeer.
A dog cave. This would be the biggest doggy play area ever. Lots of toys, treats galore and huge, soft beds with 20 people in attendance to give fuss and cuddles when required. Resident Collie would just see it as her base from which she will achieve world domination.

My husband always moans about having to brush his teeth and says that if he was a billionaire he'd pay someone to do it for him

id buy WWE
a house in every country
private chef, cleaner, driver

and one of these
I'd buy or build, somewhere secluded, utterly luxurious and absolutely top secret.
I'd then fill it with the world's most decadent and expensive sex toys, gin and chocolate.

but with vodka on tap

I would buy a Georgian house in its own estate with a sea view in Devon and have a Claude Lorraine landscape on the wall with various other knock out pictures. Maybe a Gainsborough?

I would found an architectural institution which revived traditional building and architectural knowledge. Everyone would benefit from the beauty of buildings in towns and countryside.

I would start a new company which imported and sold Elon Musk’s solar roof tiles to stop our lovely country being desecrated by ugly photovoltaic cells on domestic houses.

I would buy city centres wrecked by inappropriate development in the sixties and rebuild them as they were.

( Everyone else has noticed that ‘ The ten best towns’ articles in magazines and newspapers are always places with beautiful old buildings, right?)

I could venture out of my Georgian heaven from time to time as everywhere else would look nice too.

Go into space
Someone to type up all my writing and publish it and set up a publishing company to promote more of the kind of writers I like
A full spa at home with several hot/ steam rooms and outdoor infinity hot tub
Pizza oven
Garden with adventure playground treehouses, dens, river, huge runs for rabbits/ guinea pigs, tennis court, AstroTurf etc
Maid to dress me a la downton abbey
Never having to pick anything up from floor ever again
Floor to hanger laundry service
Nigella Lawson’s larder and hire her to cater my parties
A games room like in ‘Big’
Someone to put on sunscreen
Someone to do the thinking planning and organising of sunscreening and everything else
Full range of high end cosmetics and skin care
Outdoor auditorium in grounds for gigs for parties and hire pop stars to sing
Hire a380 to take everyone I know to Florida and hire out all the animal kingdom lodges to stay in and fast passes for all of Disney and universal
Have every Oscar nominated film on dvd/ digital to view in home cinema
Model rail set in attic with village of Lego/ playmobil and beautiful dolls house
Top of the range rocking horse for dc
Kids all own ponies and indoor and outdoor paddocks and grooms in own stables and own beach to go riding along every day
VW California
Drive across USA
Someone to calculate the calories in everything I eat
Manny who can speak several languages and can teach the kids
Own psychotherapist at beck and call
Permanently blooming lilies in my room
2 Yachts one for the med- mostly Ibiza for the sunset and one for the Scottish islands
Cocktail bar at home with every spirit imaginable
The necklace Julia Roberts had in pretty woman
Glass house with ant farm
And butterfly house
New bravissimo bras delivered every 3 months
Hire penthouse with pool overlooking Empire State Building for the party to end all parties!
Recreate the flume ride at the end of the goonies

A tailor to make all my clothes, underwear included.
Personal chef.
Personal trainer.
A room just full of hundreds of different types of candle.
Several rooms decorated in various styles, i.e a gothic room, a glitter room, a room full of alien and predator things, incl life sized steam punk models, and so on.

Deff a makeup artist and hairdresser on tap
A chauffeur
A chef
A personal trainer
A stylist
An amazing wardrobe/make up room
Buy the house next door and move my mum and sisters into it

Big house, with en suites, and air conditioning, and a gaming room. A copyright library, maybe with 3 copies of some books so we'd never have to wait for them.
My own personal library, just for me, with huge comfortable sofas and one of those button back leather armchairs that look like evil genius chairs. And I'd have plenty of games consoles (lovingly maintained) that I could play any time I liked.
I'd commission someone to make me a computer keyboard in the style of an old fashioned typewriter.

Makeup artist and hairdresser for me too. And a personal trainer.

That's about it I think...

Islands. I want islands everywhere. I’d love a Scottish island with fabulous cosy wooden lodge. An island somewhere hot, that one linked to upthread would do nicely. I’d also like my own forest with resident gamekeeper type to keep it all nice.

Dave Grohl would come over on my birthday to sing to me.

A chauffeur, a aircraft hanger to store all of my DHs junk

1. Massage on demand, probably everyday
2. Housekeeper
3. Chef to prepare delicious food
4. A chauffeur.
5. Home cinema with lots of delicious snacks prepared by the chef
6. The ability to go to the supermarket and just pick up whatever I fancied. There were loads of gorgeous sounding gins and vodka liquors the other day and would have loved to stock up the cupboard to try them all. Had to content myself with just one 😢

Staff to do stuff I can’t be bothered to do.

Hairdresser to do my hair every day
Chauffeur on call for when I can’t be bothered driving. Would also be responsible for checking my tyres, oil etc and putting petrol in.

A sous chef to do all the chopping and prep so that I can just tip it all into the pan like on cookery shows.

And having read BlackAmericanos post I’ve also added hiring all the Strictly male dancers to teach me to dance, Vicky Gill make me dresses and Lisa Armstrong to my do hair and make up.

Silk underwear
Downton Abbey style staff set up
Massive mega fish tank wall

I’d have a personal back scratcher, I lurrrrrve having my back scratched 😊 oh and someone to cook my dinners for me 😊

Buy a huge house with acres of land in the middle of nowhere and keep alpacas and goats 😀

I’m with you on this wishlist

I’d buy or build a gingerbread house (possibly a gingerbread mansion) deep in the woods

I would buy my own village and live there as the lady with connection to the higher ups. I wouldn't want anyone to be aware of my money, just that I have a freind who is a friend with the finacial adviser sister or some nonsense like that. I would like to learn farming and live off the land. If the village gets to large, I would leave to another village. I want to live in a village where everyone knows each other names. The new 'owner' would invest highly and people there would have access to free high quality education and health care. The hospital would not be close but maximum 15min ride on the ten stand by helicopters.

You didn't mention how much I would have, but hope it is enough to sustain this idea. Of course, I would invest some money in other things to help me run the village.