If you were a billionaire, what's the most ridiculous and indulgent thing you would use your money for?

[Vasya]

Setting aside for the moment the fact that the existence of billionaires is a sign of a broken economy and they shouldn't exist... what is the most self-indulgent, ridiculous thing you would pay for if you were one?

I'll start:

1. Hire Stevie Nicks to work with me to write a love song about my husband.

1. Host a dinner party catered by Alain Passard

1. Daily back, neck and shoulder aromatherapy massage before bed

(And I don't want any worthy suggestions about world hunger and scholarship programmes. That stuff is all assumed. I want the fun, stupid stuff you could have just because you were rich enough.)

I’d buy the Amazon rainforest.

In fact I’d buy all the forests.

My Scottish castle and estate would be filled with dozens of pedigree cats. I would love some bengals and hairless ones, I would spend millions making a cat paradise with climbing frames, enclosures and runs for them to play.

I would also buy a monkey sanctuary. One of my cousins went and volunteered in one abroad and got to cuddle orphaned orangutans everyday. I would swan in when I felt like it and cuddle monkeys for a while.

Have a massive Hogmanay party on my estate. The Proclaimers and Abba would be headliners with a bit of Big Country and the Flamin Hot Chilli Pipers for support.

Get nice shoes specially made for my problem feet. I now have to buy shoes from specialist places and I have to pick the least granny looking ones but most are hideous. I can have nice shoes that fit.

Ditto clothes personally made. I'm not big on fashion but no more trying to find jeans that fit my huge arse and tiny waist.

DH and I have talked about what we'd do if we won the Euromillions so here's our list based on that:

1. Buy houses for all our families
2. Pay off all our friends mortgages for them or buy them a house if they rent. We'd also pay for one of our friends to have the full share of their house instead of the part share they currently have.
3. Buy new cars for everyone and give both sets of parents enough money to be able to retire comfortably
4. Buy ourselves a house with a 6 car garage and a separate garage for DH to store motorbikes, along with a fully equipped workshop for him to tinker on them all, land for some cattle and horses (with a caretaker for them), a beautiful garden complete with fruit and vegetables (and gardener) and a playground for DD complete with treehouse. Oh and the gin, chocolate and sex toy cave/room for DH and I.
5. Buy cars and motorbikes to fill said garages including a sensible family, insensible 2 seater, trike for all 3 of us to go out on, and a few others.
6. Set up funds for DD, DNiece and DNephews for university.
7. Anonymous donations to charities of our choosing, some with specific instructions and others without.
8. Stash away some for a rainy day and when we decide to retire. Invest enough that we can live off the interest and any extra is a bonus.
9. Get a personal trainer, nutritionalist, chef and personal shopper to help get us fit and healthy while looking fab.
10. Go see our friend in Finland and set her up for life. She suffers with epilepsy which is mostly controlled but struggles to work due to it, so it would be lovely to know she didn't have to worry about anything.
11. Travel around the world, stopping to see all our friends and family in other countries along the way. I could then cross off some of my bucket list - cherry blossom festival in Japan, Rocky Mountain railway, Disney World, Bali ...
12. Holiday homes in London, Devon, America, and New Zealand that friends and family could all use, we'd pay for flights too so they'd just have to save spending money.
13. Fly all of DM's side of the family from overseas here for a big family reunion.

Just a few things obviously.

Phoenix 2000 transcontinental luxury submarine.

@sexnotgender please can I join you? I absolutely looooove donkeys and have a rescue greyhound. I'd love more but space does not currently allow. What a life that would be. Donkeys and sighthounds as far as the eye could see

Am I strange for wanting a gold statue of my dog?

I'd have a salon in my house where my personal beautician came daily to give me a massage with my hair and make up was done daily but only after my personal trainer had put me through some circuits in the gym. I would have an indoor/outdoor swimming pool sauna and hot tub. I'd love a housekeeper who preps all the food, changes the daily beds and puts away all the clothes and keeps the place tidy as well as clean.

I wouldn't want to live in the country side away from everything all the time. I'd love to live walking distance from a brilliant pub with interesting people in it to socialise with.

I forgot the pet pygmy goats.

Buy Brazil, stop the rain forest dying

A loo brush fence, to keep you fuckers out of my cave.

Designer knickers I mean personally designed just for me ones that fit my back AND my front

Huge house and cat proof garden and cat flaps in all my doors an indoor waterfall just for the cats a personal pooper scooped for them too plus I would buy MORE CATS probably black too because I already have three I cant tell apart

My kids will be fine with that

A bigger house and garden.
Then a dog for my boys and someone to walk it and look after it when we're away.
Lots of pokemon cards for my boys.
I'd put money into researching whether a transporter like on Star Trek would actually work. Then I'd create one and visit my family on the other side of the world for dinner every night! Especially so that I can have my mum's cooking!

Design and have built a 10 bedroom house with indoor and outdoor swimming pools, a cinema, bar, gym, games room and orchard with a massive tree house for the kids.

Buy a house for each child for when they're grown up.

Then a 3 week trip to Disneyland staying in the best accommodation on site with all extras available.

Personal trainer/stylist/shopper/cleaner/gardener/chef etc.

Girly weekend shopping to fill my massive walk in wardrobe in my 10 bedroom house with amazing shoes and clothes.

Buy a few cars.

Book Christmas in a lodge with my entire crazy family (always wanted to do this).

New teeth.

Hire little mix to perform in my huge back garden for my girls and all their friends.

Travel the world seeing the million places I want to see.

Daily massages
Dance Lessons
Surf Lessons
...I could go on forever don't think my billions would last me long 🙈

I would get my hair washed and styled every day. Makeup too.
Someone would lay out my clean clothes and I would be driven everywhere. Every meal would be prepared for me and served to me.... bit like the Queen.

I'd also have a little shop in a beautiful town selling lovely things and ice cream. I wouldn't care if it was financially viable or not. I'd open it for fun.

Have my life narrated by Attenborough , maybe Morgan Freeman ifvhe isn't available.

A full time masseur, clean linen sheets every day, chauffeur.

I'd buy a steam engine

I'd run it up and down the NYMR, and me and DS1 would spend our time helping to clean/tinker with it. I've always loved steam, and DS1 has ASD and is determined to be an engine driver.

Ahem. You'll soon find out that a billion pounds - capital not income - is not very much at all to fund that sort of high-octane.

I’d have a bubble car to drive around the house (house that obvs has a lift in it)

The interest on a billion invested wisely is income not to be sniffed at.

Firstly - A stylist because I always manage to look like shit.
A full time therapist to travel with me and my husband while my private pilot and jet take us all over the world. Id need a therapist because we are both terrified of travelling. I’d hire my best friend to accompany me on shopping trips so hubby was not bored and she would be my dog cuddler if we were not home. . I’d buy or build a smallish 4 - 5 bed castle in Somerset with very high walls and a moat that say ‘ leave me alone’ and I’d buy all the local land and properties so my family can stay close. My chauffeur would be ex military so I felt super safe and slightly important. I’d have the best satellite dish so I could watch any program ...think Netflix on steroids ...I’d have a massage person every day mornings and eves and I’d build a cave encrusted completely in amethyst crystals with gorgeous meditation music piped through. Planned this years ago for when I finally win the lottery......

I'd buy a skyscraper close to Trump Tower and paint DONALD TRUMP IS A TWAT in 10-foot high letters across the side

Seriously though, it would have to be a bigger house with a lot of land.
Hundreds of trees.
The entire back catalogue of Wade Whimsies.
A week or two in Barcelona (I've always wanted to go there).
DH was rabbiting on about some new Lotus or other this morning, so one of them, and probably and Aston Martin for me. DC has always hankered after a Volkwagen camper van so one of those too.
A permanently on-call osteopath.
A cat rescue shelter and the staff to run it.
Some diamonds. Big, big diamonds. And quite a lot of all the others as well, sapphires, rubies, emeralds, the lot. I like geology. Probably some gold as well, come to think of it. Sovereigns and krugerrands etc.
I'd quite like to buy up all the older houses for sale in our small town, the ones with the big gardens. So developers can't get their grubby hands on the land and destroy the character of the town forever. I'd buy all the surrounding fields as well.
If there's any loose change left over, then perhaps a slap-up chinese takeaway.

I would get a bath like they have in harry potter

When you sci-fi types win big can you invent a transporter? I'm terrified of flying but want to see the world