As title really.
I'm 40 and have recently started earning enough money that I can afford driving lessons at long last. But my forms for a provisional have been returned with a note saying I already have one 
It's not impossible that I applied for one as a student 20 ish years ago but I don't actually remember doing so and have no record of the license itself.
I've rung the DVLA numerous times to try and sort this out and they say that without either the license number or address used when it was applied for, they can't help me.
I don't have the license number because I don't have the license! I've searched all my old paperwork and nothing has turned up. I have absolutely no idea what address was used - if I did apply previously it would have been during my student years when I moved about 15 times in 3 years between 1998 and 2001, I don't even remember all my student and holiday addresses now and have no way to find them all out. I don't remember applying for a provisional at all, but it's possible I did on a whim (ridiculous as I would never have been able to afford lessons!).
WtF? Is there really no way out of this?