Have you ever received a present so shity saying thank you made you cringe?

[BlueMoonAndRedNose]

I turn 50 at the beg of Sept. A friend asked to meet me for coffee yesterday and gave me a gift, she asked me not to open it there and then, but she didn't mean to wait for my birthday either.
This friend of mine turned 50 2 years ago and I gave her a stunning Becksondergaard scarf which she has worn a lot, I see her in photos wearing it all the time.
Got home, opened the present, it is a plain little milk jug. No tag on it, no label, looks unused but old, has a small chip on the handle.
I am not usually materialistic but I think that this is a thoughtless present and nothing, or a £5. bottle of wine would have been more appropriate.

I get really offended by crappy gifts

It’s not about how cheap they are, it’s the lack of care and thought that goes in to them. Like someone said upthread, I’d rather have a cheap bottle of wine than a custard jug and tea towel (which I did once receive for Christmas).

Having said that, I once did receive a bottle of wine so cheap it was undrinkable. English wine, 4% alcohol. From the same person who gave me the custard jug.

Could you tell her that you love it but that she might not have noticed that it has a little chip on the side and ask where did she buy it so that you could get them to exchange it for one that isn’t chipped?

I have a friend who I wished would not buy me gifts. All cheap little things to display around house, which I send to charity shop. I don't know how to stop her..at least she tend to buy more for kids than me now.

Shortly after I had my first child 25 years ago (and was 14 stone) my in laws delved into their "shit we bought in the January sales" box for my Christmas present. A pair of nylon knickers, size 8, and a raffia handbag.

I took them back to M and S and they said they were so old they didn't even have the price on microfiche and gave me £1 refund as a token gesture!

Why do people on MN do so much cringeing?

Weird present you just think "that's odd" and move on. No cringe required.

Maybe that's all she could afford at the time?

A card with a thoughtful message is WAY better than a thoughtless shitty gift. A posy of tulips costs £3.

There's just no need to add mindless clutter to someone's house. It is not an antique. It is this one, but with a chip on the handle and no label or tags attached: www.amazon.co.uk/Sophie-Allport-Porcelain-Ribbed-Glazed/dp/B073XNBH6G?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I do not collect milk jugs or even get people round for tea ever

Maybe that's all she could afford at the time?
That was mean to be bold

I once spent 3 days doing someone a favour. I said it was a favour, happy to help, didn’t expect anything in kind. At the end of 3 days graft, I was presented with a heat scorched white poinsettia. White leaves all withered and curly. This was given to me in the presence of a healthy specimen of said plant. She’d offloaded her rubbish on to me and acted like she’d given me the world. She does has form for this.

It would have been less insulting if she’d given me absolutely nothing. Horrid women. Hasten to add I no longer bother with her.

Why do people on MN do so much cringeing?

I suppose it’s like how some people on MN manage to miss the mark by some distance and simultaneously sound like a school prefect.

MY Great nan gave me towels for a wedding present. They were peach with cream lace on and had clearly been in her cupboards for 50 years!

I was given a plain white vase, about 4" high, as a wedding present. That's all it was - no box or anything - and I just thought "hmm" and put it in a cupboard. But over the years, I came to love it because it was just the right size for those little posies you pick from the garden and I ended up using it more than any other vase I have.

Blue is it possible it’s a clue to another gift eg afternoon tea?

Although if you’re my DM you will have remembered a dim and distant conversation where you, probably 5-10 years ago, mused that it would be nice to be the sort of person that owned a milk jug. We all have to take extra special care in the run up to birthdays for that very reason. DH once received a ping pong set and the next year solar garden lights.

Weird. I'd just send a fairly neutral thank you like the one above.

I do find though that if I overthink gifts I end up buying and giving something a bit odd: "I'll get him a toy [him being a toddler]. But I don't know what he has... maybe Duplo? But what if he has the same set? I know, I'll get vintage Duplo off eBay!" And so on. I normally manage to rein myself in though.

I’d go with the “thanks for my gift, sadly it’s chipped, could I have the receipt to switch it?”

It's difficult when it's a close friend but maybe you set the expectation too high. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.

Maybe it's to go with something else that's coming nearer to your birthday or like a clue or something?
Your friend is probably sat at home now pissing herself at the thought of your face when you opened that present !

I got given a water gun once. 🤷‍♀️

Got home, opened the present, it is a plain little milk jug.

Clue for the imminent real present's arrival?

You know you've always wanted one.

Loved the pp saying that hopefully maybe the teeny milk jug was just a precursor present, a hint at a bigger present to come. What, a cow? 🐮

I think it’s a poor effort at gift-giving. I don’t think it’s relevant to compare it to any previous gifts you’ve given her.

In my 20’s I was streets ahead in income compared to some of my friends, I also pride myself on my creativity and care with gift-giving. I never expected the same level of effort or expense from my mates, as I put into their gifts. One girl came to my birthday party with a loaf of bread she’d just baked for me, in a simple tea-towel ‘wrapping’. I rate it as one of the best presents I’ve ever received. I thought it was clever, caring and brilliantly unique! If she’d been a multi-billionaire I’d probably have enjoyed it even more!

A chipped jug would turn my thoughts to whether my friend was alright mental-health wise. I’d be too concerned about her to grump about myself and feel hard-done-by.

Gifts are actually a minefield for lots of folk. I rate my worth to my friends in other ways. If you have other concerns about inequities in the friendship, or you suspect she’s cooling the relationship then by all means address that.

I don’t really like stuff.....ornaments and crap.....it’s just more dusting.

My mum once bought me a fake loaf bread with plastic flowers on it and a fake mouse peering through them.

I’ve honestly never had such a bad present.

I couldn’t speak.

It got ‘lost’ in a move and she even asked me where it had gone. I told her my flat mate had nicked it. 🙄🙄

I only give gifts that can be consumed now.....or experienced.

🤣 hah! Cross posted with campfirezen

I’d personally prefer a goat, but hey, it’s certainly a significant present!

My mate handed me a printed letter&small box at one of our last meet ups&told me to open it at home..so letter said she reckoned she'd spent the $250 she owed me for buying dining table&other bits from me(i had advertised in paper&sold them to her for less when she ssid she'd really live them&she still hadnt paid me for) on a keepsake as a going away present i could remember her by..so it was a hideous charm bracelet-gold plated😨not only do i not wear jewellery but really needed the cash at the time..I was absolutely shocked..didnt keep in touch😂

Campfire there’s such a world of difference between our suggestions that yours made me laugh out loud on the train.

Maybe that's not the real present but a clue and she's going to buy you a cow nearer the time!

My dh once got three cans of beer in a four ring holder (one had been taken out). He is tee-total. It was from my sister.