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Original poster

Have you ever received a present so shity saying thank you made you cringe?

408 replies

BlueMoonAndRedNose · 09/08/2019 07:40

I turn 50 at the beg of Sept. A friend asked to meet me for coffee yesterday and gave me a gift, she asked me not to open it there and then, but she didn't mean to wait for my birthday either.
This friend of mine turned 50 2 years ago and I gave her a stunning Becksondergaard scarf which she has worn a lot, I see her in photos wearing it all the time.
Got home, opened the present, it is a plain little milk jug. No tag on it, no label, looks unused but old, has a small chip on the handle.
I am not usually materialistic but I think that this is a thoughtless present and nothing, or a £5. bottle of wine would have been more appropriate.

OP posts:
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6
Haworthia · 09/08/2019 09:43

Is it possibly passive-aggressive- you’ve offered her tea at yours and she has been disgusted that you served it with a carton of milk on the table?

Oh, this is peak Mumsnet. I love it when people dream up the weirdest, most unlikely excuses for poor behaviour Grin

Do people like that actually exist? Do some people really think so highly of themselves that they’d a) be offended at the sight of milk not presented in a jug, and b) stew about it for so long that they have to give a milk jug as a passive aggressive birthday gift?

(Answer: pretty unlikely, I reckon).

@piefacedClique Love that!

bouncingraindrops · 09/08/2019 09:47

@Haworthia

Judging by some of the posts I read in here I think people like that DO exist Grin

OMGshefoundmeout · 09/08/2019 09:49

Presents are tricky - I often get given scarves. I put them on once, make sure the picture is on social media where the donor will see it and then fold it neatly and give it to a charity shop. Same with chunky ‘statement’ necklaces. And the worst of all are gift boxes of toiletries - I have sensitive skin and allergies and I’m bloody fussy, there is more chance of me eating one of the scarves than using a box from the Boots ‘buy 2 get 3rd free’ range.

A chipped milk jug is exceptionally random though, if it was an antique or from a range the OP is known to collect it might make sense but as it is, I have no idea why anyone would think that was an ok thing to give.

Nowadays I try to avoid presents unless I know the recipient very, very well and can be sure I have bought the right thing. Even then it can go wrong - some of the very carefully selected gifts for my adult DD have been sold on EBay so they can replace them! ☹️.
Nowadays I am much more likely to take a friend out for dinner or host a do for them as a gift, rather than spend money on stuff that may or may not be wanted.

Sagradafamiliar · 09/08/2019 09:51

The Sophie Allport jug is lovely. I'd assume it chipped after being wrapped. She should've packaged it more carefully, what a shame.
No need to think the worst, though.

VanGoghsDog · 09/08/2019 09:53

I think it's a nice jug.

For my 50th I got.....oh yeah, nothing. Not quite true, a work colleague gave me a small box of chocolates and my parents sent a cheque.

For my 51st my sister (who forgot my 50th) gave me a basket. I mean, it wasn't actually my birthday, I happened to have gone to see her a couple of weeks before and as I was leaving she shoved this huge round basket with a handle at me and said "I got this for your birthday". I have no use for it at all. I don't live in a cutesy little cottage with a wood burning stove which would suit a basket, and I don't cycle round the village in durndl skirts laughing and waving at small children as I go, with a basket to do my shopping.
I live in a 1960's terrace, work full time at a bank and do my shopping in Aldi on the way home. By car.

Other than the perennial cheque from the parents, that was all I got. I've changed jobs so didn't even get the chocolates this year.

Not quite sure what to do about the basket when she next visits.

user1486131602 · 09/08/2019 09:54

Maybe, the jug is some sort of antique, was it made the year you were born?
I too once received flip flops for my birthday.....in December!

MarkRonsonsMother · 09/08/2019 09:54

I do not collect milk jugs or even get people round for tea ever

Thats it then, she is hinting for a Brew

OMGshefoundmeout · 09/08/2019 09:56

My DS once got a cast off dress and bra/knicker set from her MIL for Christmas all neatly folded and boxed but clearly worn and washed. There is even a photo on FB of MIL wearing the dress. And DS is a very petite size 10, her MIL is a tall, shapely size 14.

We knew the MIL was struggling financially at the time so there was no offence taken but it still seems like an odd thing to do.

EvilPostbox · 09/08/2019 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carrotsandchocolate · 09/08/2019 10:00

I don't really like gifts unless they're edible, or a nice bit of jewellry chosen by my sister who has much better taste than me. But then, my love language isn't gifts, so I don't mind if I'm given them or not. I once had a guy friend (not a boyfriend, but he obviously wanted to be) who would send me boxes of what I can only describe as random crap - necklaces that looked like they'd been got from a church bazaar, a passport holder, other bits and bobs that he seemed to have collected, magpie-like, and put in a decorated shoebox to send to me. It was just a bit odd tbh. My auntie is like that as well, she'll give you things like a box of slightly stale cakes or out of date mince pies, or a brand of tea we don't like, and I've come to realise it's her rather clumsy way of expressing affection, as she's not too good at doing it verbally. (We just throw away the stale cakes when she's gone!)

EdtheBear · 09/08/2019 10:00

The words gift ever has to be a pair of second hand earings.

I've never had my ears pierced. I was given good coloured earings in a NEXT box. While I know most shops won't return earrings I have managed to exchange when they see my ears have no holes. However I took these back to Next to chance my luck. Next pointed out that they didn't sell gold coloured jewellery!
So I'm assuming that they were second hand and put in the Next box!

Strawberrycreamsundae · 09/08/2019 10:00

My mil gave me a used bar of soap and a facecloth for Christmas on three consecutive years - I told DH to tell her not to bother after the third one.
She always made if abundantly clear that she didn't like me!

SisterFarAway · 09/08/2019 10:01

For my 29th Birthday a friend from the swimming club gave me a towel and wash cloth set, orange with brown patterns. Looks like something very 70s inspired. I still use it, but it is rather fugly.

She probably thought she'd have to give me something, as I was the only person in our group of instructors she was still talking to. I was probably not grateful enough (I was), because she stopped talking to me, too, just a few weeks later. Hmm

cultwarning · 09/08/2019 10:02

@BlueMoonAndRedNose I got a dear friend a jug this January for her birthday. I cringed as I gave it but it was bought with my last £8 and I didn't have any money for food or full for a week after I gave it to her because I was adamant I didn't want to get her nothing at all.
It is so embarrassing having no money, please think about this.

cultwarning · 09/08/2019 10:02

*fuel not full

furrytoebean · 09/08/2019 10:06

But there’s such a big difference between getting someone a thoughtful gift that doesn’t cost much money and just getting someone a random gift with no thought.

Some of my favourite presents cost very little.

RomComPhooey · 09/08/2019 10:06

I had a large jar of Nescafe instant coffee from my stepmother for Christmas one year, but it was a deliberately passive aggressive fuck you and part of a long running PA campaign, so I had a good laugh when I opened it. I had to credit her ingenuity. At least it was useful. Grin

BurnedToast · 09/08/2019 10:07

My dm bought my husband a weird ornament of a naked man hanging by his feet as though he was bungey jumping. It is on the wall in a kitchen in a place where you can see it, but not obvious. Dm just kept saying it reminded her of my DH. He's never bungey jumped and the ornament bears no resemblance to him. Confused

MargoLovebutter · 09/08/2019 10:07

cultwarning that is just daft, clearly well-intentioned, but properly daft to go without food for a week because you had to give your friend a gift!

ChihuahuaMummy1 · 09/08/2019 10:09

Maybe she was subtly telling you not to milk your birthday Grin

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 09/08/2019 10:10

EvilPostbox "who the fuck buys unexpected furniture for someone?"

This has made do a Muttley laugh at my desk.
I LOVE the idea of "unexpected furniture"!

Scoleah · 09/08/2019 10:10

I've had a Garden clock for my 24th of my Parents
A Toothbrush on my 25th
And a Mirror as a Joint Christmas present for me & my husband

They like to Buy practical Gifts, I Quite enjoy wondering what they have bought me to top the year before

ElizaDee · 09/08/2019 10:10

Does anyone else remember that thread where the OP was asking if it's ok to give an antique jug as a present? Something along the lines of it's not expensive, but its old and the friend probably won't recognise the antique aspect of it and should she tell her??

Crinkle77 · 09/08/2019 10:12

My mum bought me a waffle maker for Christmas and I was a bit Hmm
She has bought me cookware before as I do enjoy cooking but have never expressed an interest in one and never eat them. It's still in the box unused.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 09/08/2019 10:12

Some of my favourite presents cost very little.

I once bought someone a single cupcake from Waitrose, and added a little note with [relevant comment].

She said the thoughtfulness made her cry.

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