Has a spiteful/ vengeful act bought you joy?

[SpitefulOldBag]

I’m currently contemplating doing something pretty spiteful to someone who is making my life very difficult. My very sensible and rational dh is telling me that it won’t make me feel any better about the situation. I think it definitely will and even if it doesn’t make me feel better it certainly won’t make me feel worse.

Its an incredibly long and not very interesting story but this person is absolutely awful and I (so far at least) have done nothing at all to warrant her behaviour towards me.

I think to a much lesser extent most people retain an interest in what happens to a property once they vacate. For this woman, if her family built it, it was in her family for generations and is named after her family, she likely she feels she's trying to protect her families heritage.

However she's clearly taking it too far and is not well mentally. The child abuse thing is appalling. I wouldn't have cut the tree down to spite her. I'd have cut it down if I wished to remove it, but certainly it wouldn't have been out of spite. I find the idea quite appalling.

So I'm with your husband to a certain extent on this.

If she does come around, surely this combined with those despicable letters constitutes harassment?

Another vote for change the name.

The web address of this thread would make a great name for your house....

Genius way of getting some satisfaction from a bad situation OP

Only a sociopath or serious narcissist would say 'yes'.

For those of us who have a conscience, these things generally bring a temporary euphoria and schadenfreude followed by a guilt that gradually sets in. And ultimately regret, unless there was genuinely no other option.

Meh. My act was insanely petty. I've never felt any guilt. Maybe the fact that the target never thought anything had happened to them directly helped and that I was going to get away with everything helped.

OP that's hilarious! So glad you did it. Ultimate pettiness.

Reporting you to all these authorities etc is bordering on harassment though. Can you apply for a restraining order?

Heres my horrible spite confession

Ex BF had a group of friends including a woman who was not very discrete about the crush she had on my BF. She would text him when she was drunk and make snarky comments to me all the time.

We were at a BBQ one day and I had my camera and I took lots of photos.
The next day I photoshopped them. Nothing obvious. just enough to make each picture of her look like a really bad angle with every 'flaw' emphasised.
I put them on facebook and made sure to tag everyone. She commented 'Oh dear, think I better go on a diet.'

Probably the most evil thing I have ever done, but bloody hell did it feel good.

Oh please change the name! It might help her move on!

I think depending on what you do it definitely can make you feel better! I once did something to someone at work who went out of her way to make my life difficult all the time. It brought me great pleasure! I unplugged the speakers on her computer and plugged them into a different socket so it didn't look like anything had changed to her, the next few days she kept telling people her speakers weren't working it made me giggle and definitely made me feel better until someone decided to help her and realised the wire wasn't plugged in correctly!

@PanGalaticGargleBlaster perfect revenge. No harm done but point made.

I think you may have started a full on war by cutting down that tree. But I totally understand how satisfying it must have been to do.

When she comes around, accuse her of cutting down the tree herself, in the night. Tell the whole neighbourhood she did it.

She’s had it in for you from the start, they’ll prolly believe you.

Ooh skittlesandbeer that's genius.

Go round her house "omfg I can't believe you cut down my tree!" even better if you sneak round beforehand to place the tree cuttings in her garden.

The police have spoken to her a couple of times about keeping away from me. She has to go past our house to get out of town as there’s no other way though unfortunately. She’s also very careful about doing everything anonymously although the police have told both me and her that they don’t doubt that she’s behind it. We have security cameras all around the house now which seems to help keep her away.

skittles that is a fabulously awful idea. I don’t think I could bring myself to do that though.

Definitely change the name OP!

I’m another one who has fantasised and struggled not to get revenge on my Bastard ex. Karma sometimes seems very slow but recently he got his comeuppance and I have revelled in it. It’s even sweeter knowing he brought it on himself and my hands are clean as I never sunk to his level.

When she comes around, accuse her of cutting down the tree herself, in the night. Tell the whole neighbourhood she did it.

😂😂😂😂

I feel a bit sorry for her.
There must be very deep issues as to why she feels the way she does. Because if it’s been in other people’s hands since the 70s I’m sure it’s been changed before.

And I do think the tree cutting is sad. Fine it was unwell. It was part of revenge, but I think it wasn’t a great thing to do.

The neighbours have received another note 🙄. This time they have been urged to report my tree cutting to the council. Apparently this time I’m in breach of ‘altering the skyline of a conservation area without permission.’ She’s even helpfully written a draft of the complaint copy for each of the neighbours, all they need to do is sign it at the bottom. A neighbour right down at the other end of the road told me about it so she’s expanding her area! I might start posting her bits of the tree.

Crikey @SpitefulOldBag, I think you need to go back to the police. She is harassing you and all the neighbours.
As tempting as it is, don’t engage.

Cutting the tree down was a stroke of genius. Now get cracking with changing the name.

Her ancestors built the house in the 1850’s, it stayed in her family until the 70’s and the name of it is her maiden name.

OP, how long have you had the house? I'm kind of assuming that someone else has owned between the 70s and now, so why is she getting all upset now?

I wonder if this was the first time she'd been in to look since the house left her family? Maybe she's been able to fool herself in believing nothing had changed.

OP, I really hope nothing else happens, but this is escalating and she may do something soon that proves it's her harrassing you.

Thanks cattaxi. I’ve been given one of the copies of the letters by a neighbour so I’ll take them round to the police tomorrow. Luckily it’s a fairly small town and any complaints that have the name of my house on don’t really even get looked at any more. I think this woman has given the poor town council more work than they’ve had in years.

I’m kind of wishing I’d done it as a hostage situation now. Posting her another branch each time she makes a complaint.

@SpitefulOldBag a hostage situation would be hilarious! Or, do you happen to have any friends in foreign lands that could send her postcards from the trees?!

In all seriousness, this is the kind of stuff that will grind you down. Nip it in the bud with the police right away. Can you talk to a solicitor about a cease & desist letter or something? Total disclaimer that I actually have no idea what that means, other than that it sounds it might be helpful in this case!

Right in the dead of night you go and put some of the wood in front of her garden. Continue this until the entire tree is outside! 😬