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Original poster

On hols and sobbing in car

63 replies

thisnamechanger · 02/08/2019 15:47

Just need a vent really MN pals.

Am on lovely holiday with DP which I've looked forward to for ages. We come to this place because we can both do our hobby (we take it turns while the other sunbathes or just watches).

Sitting in car while DP does his turn sobbing due to anxiety. Not about anything in particular. Just random, topic-hopping anxiety. It. RUINS. Everything.

I literally worry about everything and anything, all the time. If I catch myself not worrying about something, my brain quickly magics something up. Does anyone else get that?? It's so frustrating and tiring. I want to punch myself in the face for being such an ungrateful idiot but sometimes I think anxiety makes life not worth living. I feel like a very tearful and tired coiled spring. Sad

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/08/2019 15:48

Have you taken anything for it? I think there are some very good anti anxiety meds around now.

15minpaidbreak · 02/08/2019 15:50

Oh no, that sounds awful. See your GP and ask about having beta propranolol prescribed - you only take it when you feel you need to. Lots of luck.

wheresmymojo · 02/08/2019 15:51

^ This

Life is too short to live with severe anxiety. It sounds like you have Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Have you seen a GP?

Original poster
thisnamechanger · 02/08/2019 15:52

I've been on the lot over the years but never got on any long term. GP tried me on a new one a few months ago but I couldn't stay awake on it. I'm not allowed any benzos at all because I predicably developed an addiction to them. It's a good thing you can't buy them over the counter or I'd still be eating the buggers like sweets.

OP posts:
Dairymilkmuncher · 02/08/2019 15:53

GP with you!

In the meantime get some mindfulness apps breathing type things and try and sit out the storm but you can get help and you won't feel like this forever

Original poster
thisnamechanger · 02/08/2019 15:53

beta propranolol

Thanks for this, I'm going to Google as never heard of this one.

OP posts:
Ellabella989 · 02/08/2019 15:54

I have very bad anxiety too and it takes over my life. Medication might be the best option for you if it feels out of control.
Other helpful things I’ve found are the book “DARE” by Barry McDonagh (lots of great tips to help anxiety), distracting myself whenever I start thinking anxious thoughts, CBT therapy, deep breathing exercises, CBD oil, getting lots of sleep etc. Hope you feel better soon x

JontyDoggle37 · 02/08/2019 15:55

Music. Uplifting music. The kind you can’t not sing along to. When I find my anxiety is getting the better of me, putting my happy music on, as loud as I can and singing along really makes a difference. Hugs OP.

Titsywoo · 02/08/2019 15:56

Yeah I had terrible anxiety for about 13 years. It spoiled so much of my life. I never took medication but did do lots of things to get rid of it. Counselling, giving up drinking and smoking, exercise all helped a lot. I work hard to keep stress to a minimum nowadays - it helps the kids are now older and we don't have the money worries of our 20s and 30s! I work part-time, keep my house clean and tidy (messiness drives me mad), do lots of gardening and sewing. Basically work hard to be calm and contented! It can be done but you need to focus your mind off the anxiety and onto solving it.

Titsywoo · 02/08/2019 15:57

That is doing exercise not giving it up! I just gave up the drinking and smoking!

Also lots of sleep helps.

Missingstreetlife · 02/08/2019 15:57

Can you do something together

peachgreen · 02/08/2019 15:59

A combination of propranalol and fluoxetine changed my life. I couldn't believe that this was how "normal" people lived - able to let things go, to put things to the back of their mind, to do something without spiralling about all the possible outcomes and consequences. Life is too short to suffer, OP. There is help, I promise.

frippit · 02/08/2019 15:59

Yes my brain does exactly that. I said to my husband that if I don't have anything to worry about, I then find my brain trying to find something new to worry about.
I then just worry, about having nothing to worry about! It sounds silly but that's how it is.
I'm not on medication but I'm going to go to the Dr's as my anxiety has been through the roof lately and it's really debilitating.
I hope you can get your anxiety under control and enjoy your holiday.

TheoriginalLEM · 02/08/2019 16:00

I understand- i do this. Anxiety is an actual bastard

UtterlyPerfectCartoonGiraffe · 02/08/2019 16:04

Anxiety is an absolute bitch. It does feel like it ruins everything doesn’t it? I had post natal anxiety and couldn’t function mentally - I was panicking constantly, constant intrusive thoughts. Saw a fantastic doctor who explained that the anxiety was caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain, not my “fault” or because I’m “incapable”. I took SSRIs and they helped enormously. I couldn’t even remember what I used to get so stressed about.

I also took beta blockers for a different issue, but found they made me feel very calm and balanced. I do occasionally slip back into anxiety mode, and have to work really hard at bringing myself back down again. This will sound ridiculous (but honestly, anxiety is ridiculous too!) but when an irrational worry kicks in, I sing it back to myself in a stupid voice. Get really operatic if you have to! Do it in the style of Hamilton, with an accompanying dance! Grin I mean it’s ridiculous, but sometimes it just nips off an intrusive thought before it gains traction FlowersFlowers

Exhsuatedmuch · 02/08/2019 16:14

Anxiety is a nasty bugger and can really begin to take over cant it.. I take meds but doesn't always help but I do find occupying my brain with something else calms me fairly well. For example when I'm in the doctors surgery and feel it building to full blown panic I count all the bubbles on the print on all the chairs till I go in. Or if I'm out I find something else like how many trees, light bulbs, red things etc. How many noises can I hear and so on.. Stupid I know but seems to work for me as I'm then so caught up in my new task I tend to forget the rest and start to breathe and calm.
It is a bitch though and I feel for you.. Don't feel bad for it, can't be helped, its just part of who you are and I'm sure you're lovely xxx

AbsentmindedWoman · 02/08/2019 16:15

Lots of empathy from me too, OP. I very much understand the way your brain searches out stuff to drive you demented with worry about, even when there's no real threat on the horizon.

Fortunately these days for me it's more a background hum, rather than a daily deafening roar - so there is definitely hope that it can reduce and not interfere with your life too much. I do have spikes of anxiety for sure (usually when premenstrual, or otherwise exhausted) but they die down far more quickly too.

Agree you need enough sleep. I am a bona fide disaster after a few days of meagre sleep!

Yoga really helps me too, as does other exercise I enjoy - I have chronic fatigue and pain so can't always exercise, and really notice the difference when I've not exercised for a while.

When you're actually doing your hobby, do you become engrossed in it and start to feel calmer? Almost without noticing? Or is the anxiety preventing you getting stuck in?

Also this:

I want to punch myself in the face for being such an ungrateful idiot

This won't help! You need to be kinder towards yourself, and even if it feels foreign, to try to catch yourself saying mean stuff like this to yourself. It definitely won't help, because you need gentleness and compassion, not to beat yourself up for being anxious.

isabella1991 · 02/08/2019 16:22

Fluoxetine helped me, a lot. Put me in the right headspace to be able to talk myself out of any anxiety.

Remembering whatever will be will be. If something is out of your control you need to remind yourself that you cannot do anything to change it therefore worrying/thinking about it does absolutely nothing...

We only get one life to live and it's so short we can't waste it feeling so crap about things that in the scheme of it all really do not matter!!! Be happy and enjoy time now because... why not?!?!?!?!

lubeybooby · 02/08/2019 16:24

My dd just had a course of private cbt and emdr - it's done wonders and I highly recommend. Well worth the money (and we don't have a lot to throw around but it's still worth it)

Original poster
thisnamechanger · 02/08/2019 16:25

Loads of lovely advice as usual. Thanks MN. Any side effects to Beta Blockers? I've only ever had SSRIs and benzos.

OP posts:
ScarlettDarling · 02/08/2019 16:29

I’m with you op... can’t offer much advice but can offer you a hug and a handhold.

Anxiety is the worst. I suffer from it myself and have spent the last 3 days of my holiday stuck in the hotel room with terrible diarrhoea. Of course I’ve convinced myself I’ve got ecoli and the whole family are going to become terribly ill. I get so sick of myself, it’s all such a waste of energy.

Wishing you all the best op.

GibbonLover · 02/08/2019 16:31

Propanolol is the dogs bollocks! You might feel a little too chilled for a day or so but it soon passes. Please do ask your GP for it, you don't deserve t o be living like this Flowers

WiltedDaffs · 02/08/2019 16:35

Someone mentioned the DARE book by Barry McDonagh...

I found there’s a big section of this book available free online that takes you through his DARE method. If you want to try it and see if it helps.

www.wattpad.com/181819967-dare-the-new-way-to-end-anxiety-and-stop-panic

billybagpuss · 02/08/2019 16:36

Where are you OP? if you are near any open water (lake, sea anything like that) try and get in for a swim. There is lots of new research being done about cold water swimming helping with things like this.

Hope all goes well and you are le to enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Trendy1 · 02/08/2019 16:41

Could you just stay off all the chemicals and have some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy instead. It absolutely works and doesn't leave you feeling crappy when you are not 'up'.

PS what is the hobby that you only do separately? Could you find something to do together?

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