On hols and sobbing in car

[thisnamechanger]

Just need a vent really MN pals.

Am on lovely holiday with DP which I've looked forward to for ages. We come to this place because we can both do our hobby (we take it turns while the other sunbathes or just watches).

Sitting in car while DP does his turn sobbing due to anxiety. Not about anything in particular. Just random, topic-hopping anxiety. It. RUINS. Everything.

I literally worry about everything and anything, all the time. If I catch myself not worrying about something, my brain quickly magics something up. Does anyone else get that?? It's so frustrating and tiring. I want to punch myself in the face for being such an ungrateful idiot but sometimes I think anxiety makes life not worth living. I feel like a very tearful and tired coiled spring.

Just to add - certainly in yoga and I would assume (although correct me if I’m wrong) in the technique Catmint outlines - when you hold your breath, you are not sharply inhaling then forcibly ‘holding’ it like someone holding their nose and jumping into a swimming pool, but gently retaining it. It’s like your breath is a wave - you get to the top of the inhale and gently pause before exhaling.

I hope you feel better soon, op.

Doesn't anyone else at all do CBT? I'm quite surprised it isn't even mentioned.

Yes, it’s great trendy BUT you absolutely HAVE to be in the right place for it. Total waste of time if your anxiety is rampant. Which mine was. CBT just made me more anxious. What if I wasn’t doing it right, what if I missed an appointment what if it didn’t work.....

Finding the right medication is life changing. Anxiety and depression are just chemical imbalances in the brain. Sometimes No amount of positive thinking will put that right. It needs a chemical intervention.

I had to retire early from over 30 years teaching as my extreme anxiety was making me ill.

Since then I have found coping strategies. I go for a long vigorous walk every day. I use my morning housework as exercise. I find cooking and baking very calming. I read a lot and listen to Radio Four Extra drama so I concentrate on the woes of others. Music in the car and singing along is also great.

Oh, and HRT.

@justasking111 those tricks have worked for me yes, and the glass of something lol it gets like a nervous energy with me, even though I don’t get nervous about anything, iyswim

Wow so much lovely advice and so many people suffering too.

Mirtazapine, which someone mentioned, was the one that put me on my arse. I literally couldn't stay awake but was somehow still jumping out my skin. Thanks so much for the beta blocker suggestion, I'm definitely going to ask GP about it. I have done CBT a lot in the past, I did find it helpful but only too a point...once it gets bad again I can't seem to envoke the techniques properly..

I told DP and had a cuddle and a cry then a Headspace and cooked and ate and napped (all those things seem to help, especially cooking/eating). I totally agree with others about stopping drinking and smoking... I go through cycles of not doing either, feel a bit better, then lapse which starts the whole things again. I'm going to read all your comments again.

Off now for my turn to blow off some steam....we would do hobby together but he's a LOT better than me so have to go different places.

Duloxetine I've found to be magical. Tried all the SSRIs. This I personally find to be the answer for me. Different for everyone though x

Duloxetine is an SNRI by the way

Definately stop drinking OP, (even if its only occasionaly) try it for a month to start with. I used to feel bloody awful the next day, after 1 drink.

I know a friend who does the talk yourself down method...
You need to write your worry down on a page...
Ok. Your worried about being killed by a cow in a field...
Do your research it..
How many times does it happen a year...
How many are farmers.
How often do you actually go in a field.
Ect, till you see how the odds are stacked against it ever happening.

Beta blockers saved my life. Which sounds dramatic but I think it's true. Gave me enough of a break from the anxiety cycle and ruminating that I could think straight again.

Side effects for me were feeling cold and light headed-ness as they lower your blood pressure a bit and mine is already very very low. Nothing major though and they aren't habit forming. So so worth it.

Anxiety is bloody awful. Very sorry you're suffering.

That was meant to be flowers but you can have the cake too.

Cutting out alcohol, refined sugar and caffeine made a massive difference too btw. Huge. Also a magnesium supplement late afternoon. Both easy things to try.

Update. Sobbing in airport. DP has dropped me off and not seeing him for two weeks. V.scared of flying especially on own. Wondering how soon can go back for another wine.

Hopefully, you're already on the plane or maybe even home by now.

Listen, wine isn't going to help you in this situation.

Why did he just drop you off? I don't think that was very nice of him considering that you haven't been feeling that well.

Please reach out to someone in RL. It's very easy to isolate oneself when one is feeling depressed. Please don't do that. Call someone.