Phew, close call!

[ParmaViolet44]

Was texting a mum from DS's school yesterday to arrange a play date. She's pleasant but seems quite serious and strait-laced, I haven't got to know her too well just yet.

Just as I was about to hit send at the end of my first message I realised my phone was auto-correcting her son's first name to "asshole". The name is not a million miles away in terms of letters but still a bloody leap!

I was having cold sweats imagining if I'd sent a message to this lady I don't know that well and asking if "asshole is ok with pasta for tea"
I honed my spell-checking to new levels at work that day making sure nothing was being changed in emails/texts!

Anyone else ever had a close shave that still makes their tummy wobble when they think about it!?

this made me snort over brekky. Thanks xx

Bloody phones!

Plus it's the American spelling that I don't even say! I may have typed "arsehole" on the odd occasion so could possibly have understood if that had popped up!

I nearly sent requests for "sanitary wear" instead of "sanitary ware" when working for a house builder.

HA! Ugly laughing RN. Brilliant.

My phone used to correct 'most' to 'moist', which meant me attempting to be cutesy and send my husband 'I have the most love for you' took on a whole new meaning...

A few summers ago, I took a morning shower then as I was getting dried I realised I’d left a pile of laundry downstairs. Wanting to wear a particular item, I set off downstairs naked.
About half way down I suddenly got a prickly feeling of vulnerability, so I went back upstairs (it would have been about 20 seconds to get downstairs and to the laundry).

Literally no sooner had I reached the landing, than the front door (opposite the stairs!) opened and my father in law, calling on the off chance someone was in, popped his head round the door. I would have been standing right there naked

The universe was on my side that day.

I nearly sent an invoice out yesterday with a line I was quoting from MN in rather than the invoice text I was supposed to be copying from an email - can't remember what it was exactly but it was highly inappropriate - good job I double check them

I once asked a colleague "J, can you send X a floppy dick in tonight's post" Obviously I mean DISK!

My phone converts Sharon to Shaton. No idea why. Poor Sharon Shaton is used to it now

I was once being observed teaching a class. I noticed just before the lesson that I'd written 'draw a cock' instead of 'draw a clock' in massive letters on my PowerPoint.

Ha! Just reminded me of the time I was giving a big presentation at work to some senior managers and was just about to go into the conference room and looked down to see 2 completely odd shoes. I had a few pairs of similar style heels under my desk as I wear trainers on the commute and had just slipped my feet into them without thinking.

I was wearing one black shoe and one red. Had to sprint back to my desk to find a matching pair!

I once sent my (male) boss an email saying "I'm very busty right now" instead of busy

Oh this is making me laugh! Thanks everyone. I'll try to think of something to contribute soon.

School group chat, arranging some things for a Christmas Fayre. I replied ‘no pubes’ instead of no probs.
Also text my dds coach once that the physio said dd had tender tits. Meant tendinitis

Always, always proof read now.

I am a scout leader, and I text the parents in a group whatsapp telling them the cost for "the feckers" it autocorrected from neckers. One of the other leaders (also a parent so in the group) made a joke out of it and the other parents laughed (luckily they are all lovely) the leaders still slag me about it!

Sent my mum a message about slut sports instead of Sky sports.

Replied to my dad's message confirming that I like fuck instead of duck. Funny how my phone always changes it to duck and ducking (it just changed it to fucking there) when I'm actually trying to swear!

My phone ALWAYS changes Mike to milf, no idea why as I've only typed milf once I have to be so careful when messaging my boss, Mike

Almost messaged a German customer asking if she had any fuhrer questions

I once sent my dad a message talking about the anal. I was actually talking about the Canal

I almost, more than once, texted a colleague starting Hi Smiley. She is the most miserable person I know so that wouldn't go down too well...

Asshole, this made me laugh so hard 😂😂

Almost messaged a German customer asking if she had any fuhrer questions

I've done this one, asking if my (Jewish) DP was interested in "thinking about the Fuhrer with me"!

In my old job we sent cameras off for repair to a place in an old converted warehouse. I once mislabeled a package (by hand so I can't even blame autocorrect!) and had no idea until we got an email from the very amused repair man with a photo of the offending parcel.

Repair man
The Whorehouse
Town

They never let me live that one down

Don't know why I have random bold bits in that post!

I arrived at work one morning, having got dressed in a hurry. To my horror, realised I'd forgotten to put any knickers on! I had to think of an excuse as to why it was necessary to go out immediately! I didn't want to confess the real reason...