Any top tips for your DC starting secondary school?

[Joyfulincolour]

Following on from the useful thread re DC starting in reception, I just wondered if you had good advice for starting secondary school?

Brilliant thread

Dim question alert -
We've been asked to provide calculators. Do I get a basic calculator or the scientific one? Will they need scientific in Y7?

As a teacher, I spend hours every day telling teenagers to take their jackets off. So some of them are wearing coats!

I've set up a desk for mine with a shelf for all his school books so they aren't left in different places in the house. He is not excited by this!

Gazelda

Get the scientific one.

We have never had to cover books?

BUT I will add, schedule TWO online food orders a week rather than the usual one! They EAT! then when they have friends over...... I usually keep at least three pizzas in the freezer 'just in case'

Also, like the advice to keep talking. Scary how much the info you get when you maintain communication lines compared to parents who literally have no idea what is going on at school.

I also like to keep abreast of trends so that I can actually have a conversation! although I draw the line at watching love island!

Excellent thread!!

So obviously we can't go into school with them anyway on the first day, leave at gates only. Do parents even take to the gate? I really wanted to and to get a photo on the first day but will DS forever have the mick taken out of him?

Don't take them to the gate! They will be mercilessly mocked

A lot of ours walk in or get the bus but I’ve seen very few brought to the gate on their first day. Do the photos at home.

We also don’t cover books. They tend to stay in the classroom unless there is homework.

Absolutely don't take them to the gate.

Coats - my dcs are at two different secondaries, and both wear coats. There is one local school where they don't, my dcs and their friends think that the pupils there are stupid.

DS refuses to wear school jumper from the 2nd week of Year 7 and hasn’t worn one since (now going into Year 11), and will only wear a coat in dire circumstances.
I suggest getting a padlock for the lockers.
If you child is taking in a mobile phone, get them to photograph their timetable.
A phone number of someone in their class is handy too, if they miss what they’re supposed to do for homework.
A spare tie as well, as these are easy to lose both at school and home.
Door key - get one with a luminous paint on, so it’s easy to spot.

A school local to me does a parents things on the first day - you watch them all walk in together, for an assembly. As it's a school "thing" I'm hoping that means no one is mocked for having their parents there!

DS’s school does the same thing. The first day is just for Y7s. So no school buses so parents are invited in.

Buy more jumpers than you think you'll need, and a spare tie. They will lose them. The teachers will not care. The lost property bin will be somewhere obscure that they'll never have time to get to. My DS started Y7 last September and we were down three jumpers, a jacket, a tie and a PE hoodie by the end of the year.

If your child is less socially aware, teach them the new 'rules' for secondary.

• ignore bad behaviour from others unless it directly impacts them
• but do report bullying
• don't 'tell off' older kids (!)
• don't be like Hermione in lessons (jumping out of your seat in keenness)

Similarly go through some 'what ifs' with them:

• what if they get lost trying to find a class
• what if someone is picking on them
• what if they don't understand the work
• what if they lose their pen

For girls: 'Emergency bag' for periods to live in the school bag containing pads, spare pants, some kind of bag for soiled pants. Even if they've not started yet.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but DO NOT under any circumstances buy the standard issue school coat, scarf, bag unless it is mandatory. They are the lowest of the low in terms of coolness factor.

Also, as PP have mentioned, be prepared for the first week or even month to be a big shock to the system.

DC will be going from the biggest / oldest in junior school, to being the smallest and most vulnerable in secondary school, mingling with older children, many of whom are practically adults.

Definitely give them allowance of 30mins or so every day at pick up time / when they get in to decompress before you pounce on them asking how their day was, what they did etc. You will get more out of them if you give them some breathing space first. Hard to do, but really makes a difference!

Yes Gazelda, they will need a scientific one. If you are able, ask the school if there is a particular model required (this makes it easier when they give instructions etc using Pure Mathematics etc).

Forgive them for the attitude they will gain

Our year sevens tend to start being sweet and quiet but it doesn’t last long!

Yes to many pens. They will all lose them.

Haven't RTFT so sorry if this has been suggested already but get a key box installed in your front garden with a code.

When the day arrives that your DC arrives home having forgotten their key (this will definitely happen), they at least can let themselves in with the emergency key.

I feel so much happier knowing this.

Oh, also it might be worth doing a couple of "trial runs" during the holiday to and from school, so they are confident of the journey route, where to pick up the bus or to the train station etc.

Travelling to/from. school can be very stressful and tiring, especially if they have never had to do so independently before. They will feel much more confident on Day 1 if they are at least familiar with the route.

Sorry for all the posts, I am on a roll today...!

I think prepare yourself for either friendship issues, or organisational issues, or struggling with the change in pace issues. I dont know many children that had all three but everyone seemed to have one of those three. We had a few tears about friends and late night chats with cocoa before it settled down.

From a teachers perspective ...

Get them in the habit of packing their bag the night before - every night.

Teach them not to be offended when teachers don’t learn their name straight away. I teach the whole of year 7 (150 pupils) once a fortnight. Takes me nearly all year to learn their names!

The older pupils are actually nice to year 7’s despite what people may think (I work in inner London - our pupils really do help the little ones)

Take lots of snacks for week one at least. The lunch queue in the first few weeks is always very slow! Even when most schools give year 7’s early lunch they will spend half their lunch in the queue

Label everything with sew in labels. I always find jumpers / bags etc in the playground / my classroom with no label or washed out felt tip pen labels you can’t read.

Get them a pencil case with basics and make sure they have spare pens in their bag. ‘I haven’t got a pen’ drives teachers crazy!

Check what is expected with their planner. Most schools ask parents to sign a planner weekly and will give detentions if it’s jot signed. Use it to check what homework they have etc and for any notes. If you wrote a note to a teacher in a planner, ask for a signature to confirm they have read it. Your child probably won’t show it to their teacher unless prompted!

And as a parent be aware that contact with school will be different and give teachers time to respond to emails or calls. In total I teach around 260 different children each week. So while I try to respond to parents sometimes I am very busy so it’s a quick reply. And if it’s something your child can ask the teacher - get them to do it. If a child doesn’t understand their homework, it’s much easier If they come to see me rather than me trying to explain it to a parent via email.

Get them to join some clubs. Most schools have loads at lunch and after school and there will be something for everyone. It’s a great way to make friends in different classes and years too.

Make sure they know to go to the toilet at break or lunch. They won’t be allowed during lessons (unless it’s an emergency of course!)

Most pupils settle really quickly. A few struggle to check in with them and contact the school (form tutor usually) if you feel your child is not settling after a few weeks. We have lots of strategies in place to help pupils that work.

Scientific calculator (our school specified/suggested which one)

Most do wear coats here, especially if they're walking a fair distance to school. They'd be soaking wet all day otherwise (it's bad enough when their shoes get soaked through). No blazer here though.

Wow, thanks everyone! Fantastic advice and so many things that I hadn’t thought of. I was almost thinking that we had got through primary school so secondary wouldn’t be much different- how wrong can you be!
I’m going to make a list 😁