Should I text again, or just leave it?

[WithFireAndBlood]

Hi all, I need some advice.
My friend text me earlier asking when I was free for drinks. I replied saying I’d have to wait until payday as I was skint then sent another saying “The downsides to being a grown up and having a big house and children”. She’s older than me (mid 30s) and still lives at home with her parents, with no children.
I 100% did not mean it as a dig as her and the only reason I said “big house” was because we recently moved into a bigger house and bills are much higher than before, therefore going out for drinks were less likely to happen.
She didn’t immediately reply which is unlike her so I reread it and realised I sounded like a total dickhead so sent another text saying I didn’t mean it the way it sounded, I was just moaning about the daily grind when I still felt young at heart. Still no reply so I know she’s annoyed at me.
I suffer terribly from anxiety and this has just been playing on my mind and I don’t know what to do. DH said not to send another message and just let it mellow but I feel so rotten about it and just want to send another saying sorry.
WWYD?

I’d not if I was you, it does sound like a nasty dig even if you never meant it. Give her some space and let her contact you if she feels like it

I’d just leave it. I think your friend has every right to be pissed off at you but saying sorry might make it worse

Ouch.
You've made it clear you didn't mean it how it likely came across. I'd leave it, maybe if she hasn't got in touch in a few days text her.

Leave it. That text was really twattish and i imagine it stung your friend.

Thanks all. I know, I’m an idiot and really wasn’t thinking when I wrote it, more feeling sorry for myself that I couldn’t go for drinks.

Just leave it.

If you'd left out the grown up part it would have been fine probably.

Still it might give her a prod to move out and be a grown up herself. Her parents must be sick as having her still at home.

Leave it because you'll only make it worse. I imagine she's feeling quite low at the moment.

Wow that was a terrible text to send 🤦‍♀️ I'd be really upset if I was here too.

*her

Yeah don't text again. I'd be really pissed off with you if I was her.

It’s taking all I have not to text again but I know that’s just to appease my own anxiety so I will just leave it.

I agree with everyone, just leave it and don't text again. You've already let her know you didn't mean it. I would be worrying about the lack of reply too though so I do sympathise!

Is there anything I can to make it up, other than a time machine? We normally have a really easy going friendship with lots of banter between us and I’m not normally an arsehole and she knows me well enough to know I wouldn’t have meant it that way but I’m gutted to have hurt her feelings in this way.

Oh gosh. What a dreadful text to send. You've managed to make several mean comments in a single short message.

I think you need to leave this for now but don't be too surprised if she doesn't want to see you for a while. I'd be feeling so hurt if I were your friend. I know you didn't mean it but she will be wounded by this.

I’d leave it. The balls in her court now. What in the world possessed you to send a text like that!?

Definitely don't send anything else. It can only make it worse.

Ouch

Awkward! I'd leave it for now as you've apologised. If you don't hear from her I'd ring in a few days and say sorry for being a bellend and putting your foot in your mouth. If she's a good friend she'll probably shake it off.

I explained above, I was more feeling sorry for myself that I couldn’t go for drinks with her because of having big bills to pay, without thinking about what it might imply to her.
It was stupid and thoughtless but not intentional, I’m just not that kind of person.

Ooh ouch, I winced reading that op.

I think the follow up messages, and any further messages you send will very much be the digging of a greater hole.

However much you say it wasn’t intended as it read/not being what you meant, it’s quite clear that’s how you perceive yourself now and she isn’t in that grown up box with you.

That wasn't well phrased, was it?! I might just send another text telling her that she's brilliant and that you're not grown up enough not to send clumsily worded texts at times but would love to meet for drinks when you have more money

CalmFizz, not at all. If anything I see her as more “grown up” than me, she’s much more together as a person whereas I’m wildly flailing my way through life

I know what you mean op, but the more you flail around clumsily texting her the worse I think it will be. ‘I think you’re really grown up...but I’m in a much better situation than you!’ Isn’t going to ease the situation.

Why not call her and explain?

No I know what you mean. I’ve tried to word a few messages but they all sound awful, and scripted.
I don’t think she would pick up allthegood. And believe it or not I’m worse verbally than I am through texting!