My 4 year old just threw a tantrum over food as I put food in the oven

[WhiteCatRedCollar]

Been up since 6am. She’s just 4 so technically her first school holidays.

She ate at 6am. I’ve been offering snacks (fruit, toast, crumpets) at regular intervals since she finished breakfast. Never accepted.

Then just as I’m putting food in the oven “Now I want a banana, I’m really hungry”. Told her she can wait until after she’d eaten (we have our main meal at lunchtime and a smaller meal of sandwiches etc at about 3pm before bed at 6.30 – it just works for us). Cue her throwing herself on the floor screaming she’s starving and I never give her food. She keeps trying to get her step stool thing to reach the fruit bowl in the kitchen but I keep stopping her.

Thank the lord I’m working tomorrow and she’s still in childcare 3 days a week until the week before she starts school (her private Nursery changes it’s preschool to “holiday club” for those going off to school in September for the 6 weeks)

How’s your summer going?

When my kids used to be "starving" and not able to wait another minute I'd give them part of the dinner if any of it was precooked (eg if the meat was ready on a roast), or a bit of raw veg. So not swapping out the food... just serving it in a different order.

4yrs old isnt too old for tantrums. neither is 11 here

The trouble with a rigid timetable is that it is entirely madeup based on something in your head. other people's bodies may not fit this timetable, or may not fit it every single day.

Do you never have days when you have very little appetite, or other dyas when you feel quite peckish and maybe eat a little more than usual. Do you apply the same rigid rules to your own eating and snacks as you do to your child or if you feel like a cracker last thing at night do you just get one ?

It sounds like (when you posted at 11.18) you had already put the dinner in the oven. But dinner is not served until 12-1pm. so three quarters of an hour at least. Quite a long time for a four year old who hasn't eaten since 6 am to go hungry. And was she given plenty of warning of the 'no more snacks after 11/30 cut off time and when it was approaching - does she have a very mature grasp of the concept of time and how long five or ten or fifteen minutes is, or is she a developmentally normal 4yr old who has yet to understand such things ?
You sound very rigid. There's routine and there's total inflexibility and not listening to other people whether they are four or forty because they aren't conforming to your personal invented timetable.

I wouldn’t have let her have the banana either, for what it’s worth.

I had to post though because is no one going to respond to @Nyctophilia’s washing a turd in with their towels 😂😂😂 and what relevance that has to a 4 year old banana tantrum?!

Oh and to the pp who thinks 4 is too old for a tantrum, my son’s nearly 7 and still has the occasional tantrum 🤷‍♀️ So do I though to be fair

I am getting on for 10 times older than 4 and will hold my hands up at having had a cracking tantrum tonight - and I feel much better for it too

This is interesting to read as my little girl is only 13 months.

It’s so hard to know what to do when it comes to food/ snacks. So far if DD is hungry we just give her food when she wants it. She has a good appetite and eats 3 meals a day plus loads of snacks.

I think I’ll continue to be relaxed when it comes to this issue. I plan to have a fruit bowl which she can help herself to anytime she likes.

As an adult, if I’m hungry I’m hungry and I need to eat so I don’t want it to be different for her. I think too many boundaries with food make it an issue/ battle which only leads to problems. As long as she’s not eating junk food and is getting 5 a day I’ll be happy.

😂😂 I know right!! @Sirzy I'm 29 in a few months and I throw bigger tantrums than my nearly 4yo 🤦‍♀️

Almost usually when I am absolutely starving! I can never cook a meal without munching on everything whilst doing it

Hanger! Yes when DD who is 10 starts getting and slightly teary I remember I havent fed her for awhile!

It definitely sounds like that

My son would eat everything and anything when he was little, never got fat, still doesn't. Surprising considering we've always been vegetarian but whatever was served he would always eat it.
My sisters on the other hand were a bleeding nightmare. One of them only ate rice and peas until she was 6. I'm amazed she's still alive.

Dgd3 had three cheese wraps at about 7.00pm, then a packet of crisps, a pain au chocolate, half a bagel and a drink. Then she wanted dinner and argued when I said no.

Mine often ate eggy bread at dinner at that age one of the few things that would always get finished.