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My 4 year old just threw a tantrum over food as I put food in the oven

86 replies

WhiteCatRedCollar · 29/07/2019 11:18

Been up since 6am. She’s just 4 so technically her first school holidays.

She ate at 6am. I’ve been offering snacks (fruit, toast, crumpets) at regular intervals since she finished breakfast. Never accepted.

Then just as I’m putting food in the oven “Now I want a banana, I’m really hungry”. Told her she can wait until after she’d eaten (we have our main meal at lunchtime and a smaller meal of sandwiches etc at about 3pm before bed at 6.30 – it just works for us). Cue her throwing herself on the floor screaming she’s starving and I never give her food. She keeps trying to get her step stool thing to reach the fruit bowl in the kitchen but I keep stopping her.

Thank the lord I’m working tomorrow and she’s still in childcare 3 days a week until the week before she starts school (her private Nursery changes it’s preschool to “holiday club” for those going off to school in September for the 6 weeks)

How’s your summer going? Grin

OP posts:
Her0utdoors · 29/07/2019 17:14

My dd was massively anxious about starting reception for the entire summmer holidays, maybe your daughter's the same OP? Her behaviour was really challenging and she was really hard work. Go easy on your self, August is a looong month.

Teateaandmoretea · 29/07/2019 17:18

Jeez you sound totally normal to me OP. Giving a child food just before dinner is ridiculous.

Teateaandmoretea · 29/07/2019 17:19

I think heroutdoors is probably right - I seem to remember similar from the past.... they know a big change is coming and it's really unsettling.

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Quartz2208 · 29/07/2019 17:21

The problem is OP you are overruling her natural feeling of appetite. By offering when she is not hungry and denying when she is you are telling her not to listen to her appetite and when she is hungry

Which can cause huge issues down the line. What is your relationship with food like?

CherryPavlova · 29/07/2019 17:24

Sounds reasonable. Set mealtimes (with occasional flex) and rules about snacking are a good thing.

QueenOfPain · 29/07/2019 17:24

I’ve never known a place more uptight and concerning when it comes to food than MN, and I say that as someone currently in treatment for an eating disorder.

LoafofSellotape · 29/07/2019 17:27

She sounded hungry, half a banana wouldn't have hurt anyone and would've avoided a tantrum Confused

Teateaandmoretea · 29/07/2019 17:28

The problem is OP you are overruling her natural feeling of appetite. By offering when she is not hungry and denying when she is you are telling her not to listen to her appetite and when she is hungry

That's just utter nonsense. She is hungry and will get her dinner, it is good to be hungry for your main meal.

And my relationship with food is fine, I eat well and plenty and have a bmi of 23

NameChange92 · 29/07/2019 17:34

she won't ask for food so has to be offered

But she did ask for food, just when she asked you wouldn’t let her have any.

I also like the way about 3pm became 4-4.30pm, when you were criticised.

Anyway Hmm let her have the banana

Quartz2208 · 29/07/2019 17:43

Tea are you the OP and namechanged?

Nyctophilia · 29/07/2019 17:53

Well I've just accidentally washed a shit in the washing machine...with my white towels 😭🤮

NerrSnerr · 29/07/2019 18:01

Does she have her tea at 3pm or 4.30pm?

Personally I would have given the banana but I accept we're all different. My daughter used to have huge tantrums when hungry and then would refuse to eat as she was too grumpy. The summer before school is often tricky as they know a big change is coming and everyone is talking and asking them about school.

ooooohbetty · 29/07/2019 18:05

I know I'm going to be the only one who thinks this but 4 years old is old to be still having a tantrum for any reason.

ShirleyPhallus · 29/07/2019 18:13

I’ve never known a place more uptight and concerning when it comes to food than MN

Totally agree, some posters are combing carefully through every single word from the OP to find any opportunity to criticise

00100001 · 29/07/2019 19:00

We'll, it all depends on how long dinner would take to cook...

YouJustDoYou · 29/07/2019 19:03

I know I'm going to be the only one who thinks this but 4 years old is old to be still having a tantrum for any reason

Hahahaha! Oh...you're serious...bless...

ooooohbetty · 29/07/2019 19:16

@YouJustDoYou
Hahahaha! Oh...you're serious...bless.

Hahahahaha Oh. So are you. Bless.

IHeartKingThistle · 29/07/2019 19:22

My rule is that if I'm cooking dinner, they can't ask for a snack. Not hard, although I have waived it occasionally for a slow cook casserole or something!

Bluntness100 · 29/07/2019 19:29

I think it's normal not to give a filling snack just before a meal is served but I've never seen anything a regimented as this.

Op do you have or have had issues with food?

Lovemenorca · 29/07/2019 19:39

Op name change fail!

Quartz2208 · 29/07/2019 21:43

oooohbetty - mumsnet (particularly AIBU) is full of adults throwing tantrums, Relationships is full of men throwing tantrums and sulking so no 4 year old is not too old!

ooooohbetty · 29/07/2019 21:52

@Quartz2208 fair point Smile

SparklyMagpie · 29/07/2019 22:02

4 is too old to be having tantrums

Are you shitting me ?! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

You were right , you'll be the only one who thinks that

Ahh that's given me a right good laugh tonight 😂

Andallofasuddenitsover · 29/07/2019 22:05

I definitely would’ve let her have the banana. Why wouldn’t you? Confused

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/07/2019 22:07

4.30pm is too early to have last foods.

Why not do toast or porridge etc at 6.30? Or push evening meal back to that time?

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