Mortified - what do you mean if you say someone "looks well"?

[munemema]

I say it a lot. And I mean what it says, a genuine compliment.

I might mean that they seem happier or less tired than usual or that the haircut/make up suits them but I haven't been able to put my finger on the change, maybe they've lost some weight and their clothes fit better or perhaps they have a bit more colour in their cheeks.

Someone has just told me it's a universal euphemism for "you've gained weight"

Why not just skip the remarks pertaining to appearance altogether when you're talking to someone?

Also: what do you mean if you say you're "mortified"?

(Yes, I know the OP used it correctly.)

I say it a lot. And I mean what it says, a genuine compliment.

Me too - is it a regional thing about the weight?
If someone had put on weight I wouldn’t necessarily notice but I would notice someone who looks good when I’ve bumped into them so that is when I would say it.

Another one here who says it to people as a “you look great” conversation filler. Usually when I haven’t seen them for ages, and I’ve more or less forgotten what they actually look like.

I say it to mean "you look relaxed, healthy and is if you're enjoying life" i.e. well. I haven't come across it as a euphemism for "you're fat" and I'm puzzled by this.

In an era of poor nutrition and rampant TB it probably could be correlated to looking less peaky than before.

I wonder if this is where the meaning has changed? Up until the 1950s/ 60s putting on a bit of weight wouldn't have been a bad thing. If most people were thin, putting on weight would be a good thing because it meant you had more money to spend on a bit more food. Gradually over time we've found easier access to cheap calories and putting on weight is easy, leads to obesity and is no longer a positive thing so "you look well" has come to seem a bit insulting.

I have never used it in this way though OP and if people think that it is insulting it's a sorry state of affairs.

I use this as looking well (as in good / well) but come to think of it, when i last said this (to an aunt of DH's) his sister laughed and looked embarrassed. Maybe she thought I meant it the other way. Oh dear.

Also, Dh's brother tells me I 'look well' maybe he means I am fat. Hmm. Lots of overthinking here!

I would be with you OP, would never have thought it meant they gained weight :/

I have always said it as a compliment - and also had it said to me, and took it as a compliment. I have never been big or overweight, (I have been the same weight for most of my adult life), so to me it has nothing to do with weight gain or being fat.

I get it said to me a lot, but I think it's because I'm long term ill and so people are trying to be nice, and to say I'm not looking quite as drawn/sallow/sick that day. I hope, anyway! I've never understood it as 'you look fat', that seems very odd and passive aggressive.

People say this to a close relative with chronic illness, meaning to be kind but it pisses her off!

Yip, in my family it means you’ve put on weight too.

I've always understood it to be a compliment, never to mean that someone looks fat. Thanks for the tip though, I'll now also use it passive aggressively to people I dislike

DH's family use it to mean you've put on weight. They're from the South of England. I think it is because putting on weight used to mean you were healthy ie not ill or fading away. So they use well to mean chubby cheeked

If I thought someone looked nice, I'd give a specific compliment eg you look nice; your hair looks lovely; you suit that colour.

I’ve always taken it to mean a positive compliment on someone’s appearance

Only the professionally offended would take it to mean that someone’s gained weight.

I’ve recently come out of hospital, during which time I had two cardiac arrests, spent a significant time fighting for my life and wondering if I’d actually make it out the other side.

Oh, and I’ve lost two stone even though I wasn’t overweight in the first place.

People have told me I look well and meant it as such. And it’s been said in the context that it’s almost hard to believe I have recently been through everything I went through.

People who choose to be offended by it ought really to get over themselves.

I would say it to someone who has recently had a baby but is looking relaxed, happy, and not totally shit.

Also if someone has been ill but is looking better.

I noticed a lot of people said it to me when I lost weight - I think for some people it is a more polite way of commenting on weight loss to avoid implying you thought the person was too fat before!

It definitely doesn't mean you've gained weight when I say it, as I would never make a rude remark like that.

Maybe it's the same as "bonny baby" which I think implies chubby, when times were hard having a chubby baby would be a good thing. This would explain, maybe, why more older people use the "fat" sense. It also explains why it seems to be dying out judging be the responses here. It would be nice if those clinging to it's snide meaning could rethink. Or maybe just go with "if you can't say anything nice, say nothing".

I have also never heard of this meaning you look fat / as if you have gained weight. Perhaps it is a regional thing as PP suggested? Maybe those who understand it as meaning you look fat could tell us where they are from?

Entirely a compliment in my world, and I wouldn't dream of saying or implying "you've gained weight" to anyone.

Actually it's most often been said to me recently when people I haven't seen for a while notice that I have (unintentionally) lost a significant amount of weight. Ironically that is because I haven't been at all well!

Same as you OP, it means well. Not fat.

My horse "looks well" (which means she's fat

Never thought it meant that for people too ?! 🤷‍♀️

Another one astonished to learn that it means you've put on weight.

I often say it, and mean it as a compliment. I would never be so rude as to comment on someone's weight gain.

I too say it in a complimentary way.

You get 'you're packin' on the beef' if someone thinks you've been having pies intravenously. They don't mice pie their words round here.

Mince. Not mice.

We have standards