Mortified - what do you mean if you say someone "looks well"?

[munemema]

I say it a lot. And I mean what it says, a genuine compliment.

I might mean that they seem happier or less tired than usual or that the haircut/make up suits them but I haven't been able to put my finger on the change, maybe they've lost some weight and their clothes fit better or perhaps they have a bit more colour in their cheeks.

Someone has just told me it's a universal euphemism for "you've gained weight"

I've always taken it and given it as a compliment, meaning that the person looks as if they've lost weight/are looking healthy/glowing.
I'm from the south , if it matters

Frogs: sadly my MIL.

In an era of poor nutrition and rampant TB it probably could be correlated to looking less peaky than before.

It means you have gained weight.

I only use it if someone has had a serious illness that made them lose weight to a dangerous and unwanted extent, and is now recovering.

My nan would use it to fat shame anyone and everyone.

I'm from London.

It means you look good, healthy and happy. Nothing else. It is a compliment and I will continue using it that way.

It doesn't mean you look fat. That is just bollocks.

You look fat.

I've never said it to anyone but it's been said to me about three or four times in the last month - I'm pregnant and I've put on about 2.5st through being permanently ravenous and exhausted so I'm guessing all those people meant 'wow you're getting fat!' Or possibly that I look radiant or glowing or sweaty. I decided to take it as a compliment nevertheless.
I'm in the North West though!

Yes that’s what I hear too - though I’m sure some people say it sincerely I hear it as ‘well upholstered’!

When I say it, I mean "relaxed and happy/healthy". When my late MIL said it, she meant "pregnant"!

I have never ever known it to mean you look fat, as pp it means you look well, eg not stressed, not ill, not sad.

I think it's quite sad that someone you are paying a compliment to actually, for some very strange reason, thinks you are insulting them.

I've only heard people on MN say it's a euphemism. If I say it, I mean someone is looking well, as in not ill, not overly tired. I mean it as a compliment, and depending on the person, might follow up with something like, "the new job's suiting you?" or "The children are all well, too?"

it was used in my family as a compliment, too, and if someone says it to me, that's how I take it, not that I've put on weight (even if that might also be true.)

I'd just take it as a compliment tbh but I don't really think about my weight in general. Perhaps if you do you'd interpret it that way.

My skin's been rubbish for years, but this year, I've been taking better care of it and someone did say I looked well a while back and I thought "oh how nice the skincare's paying off"

I only use it mean that someone does actually look well ie. happier, less stressed, not ill etc. I hope that they didn't take it the wrong way.

This thread has been a revelation to me - I genuinely didn't know that it could mean that you look fat. I'm now wondering about the people that have said it to me in the past. Thinking about it, it probably has been when I've been a bit overweight. Sigh!

You look well

means just that - would apply to anyone looking healthy, coming back from holiday with a tan.

I never knew it meant you look fat

People only ever say it to me when I've lost weight!

In any case, I generally say "Thanks, so do you!" That covers all bases

I've only ever had it said to me when I've gained weight, but not meant as an insult. Typically from older people who were always concerned that I was too slim and trying to 'fatten me up' because they thought it was healthier. I think they genuinely thought I looked better with a bit of weight gain and no longer thought I looked ill! I wasn't underweight in the first place, I think they just have slightly skewed views of what health looks like.

I've lost a couple of stone and get a lot of "you look well"s. From people who want to skirt around the delicate issue of directly asking whether I'd lost weight. I thought that it was a compliment.

If you're a nice person and you say it with a smile in a genuine way, then I'm sure it's only taken as a compliment.

I say it a lot too, and people have said it to me and I've only ever taken it as nice.

To me it just means someone looks extra great, e.g. their face is all lit up, or they have a glowy tan or a bit of a sparkle, nothing specific or I would comment on that e.g. great haircut. I think it's synonymous with health.

It is where they think you look good, they think you might have lost wright, but are not sure enough to directly reference your weight.

I think I might have been overthinking it but looking back I get "you look well" when I've put on a bit of weight and "you look great" when I'm back to slim. Eeek!

I will never again say to someone that they look well (even though I meant it genuinely as they did look well)

Euphemism for fat.

I never use it. If I think someone looks nice or healthy or glowy I say that.

I've never heard it used to mean "you look fat" and I've lived in the UK for 10 years! (I'm Irish and have never heard it used in that way there either).

It means you look fat.

I knew that even before I saw it on mumsnet.

So it's not a mumsnet thing.

I've had people say it to me when I've lost weight. I feel ambivalent about it, because the implication is that I didn't look well when I was bigger but I can appreciate that people don't really know what to say when you've lost weight.