Tell me your funny stories

[FishFly]

I feel so down recently, just want to lay in bed all day and cry. Lots of stuff to be done but can't seem to find the motivation to actually do any of it. Please share your funny stories of anything..just need cheering up.

Aw that sounds crap op, sorry you're having a hard time.

Not that funny but I was on the school run once and there were a few bees on the pavement, dd asked me to "rescue" them on my way home.
I didn't have anything to put them in so I jogged to a nearby shop to get a small Tupperware type container.
When I got back to the bees, one was dead but I managed to get 2 into the container before dh (who'd had an operation and couldn't drive) rang me to ask if I could give his parents a lift to the bus station as their taxi hadn't turned up and they were off on holiday.
So I gingerly jog/walked back home with the 2 bees in the container (who had bumped into each other and didn't sound happy about it BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZ) before one flew away and the other climbed out and started wandering up my arm as I was nearing home. I had to carefully brush it off into a bush whilst dh looked on with a WTF expression.
I got the in laws to the bus station in time though

Sorry you’re feeling low.

We are all upbeat here as Boris is going to push on with Brexit.

Kalim8 you was brave to put them in the tub in the first place i wouldn't have been able to get near them 😱

Not very funny but might cheer you up. I feed the birds that come to our decking, I have 3 collared doves, lots of sparrows and tits and a male black bird and a totally mad female blackbird. I put them out fatballs broken up, apples cutted up into small pieces - they only want bread! And it has to be really soft white bread. I put out nutty bread, they don’t eat it. If the white bread is maybe not so fresh, they don’t eat it. If there is no bread out (god forbid) the female blackbird charges across the decking to the back door and hammers on the decking with her beak!! I am a complete slave to them!! Photo of one of the doves patiently waiting on me.