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Original poster

Cash or free bar at wedding?

99 replies

Littleblurry · 24/07/2019 07:48

We are getting married in a large barn. Will have around 130 day and 70 evening guests.

We are going to put on champagne,wine, beer, cider, pimms and soft drinks during the day.

The question is, do we continue offering free drinks (with a few spirit options added) during the evening? Or do we hire a bar company and have a cheap cash bar?

The main concern is people taking advantage of the free drinks and getting horrendously drunk when there will be quite a lot of kids around. In all honesty, I dont think there will be many who do as most adults are in their 30s or over and (in our circle anyway) for most of us our binge drinking days are long gone. Lots of people wont be drinking much as they have their kids with them, the venue is around 20-30 mins drive for the majority of the evening guests so its likely many of them will drive anyway.

I'm inclined to offer the drinks free but DF thinks a cash bar would be better. What would/did you do? Would you be unhappy with a cash bar or is it fairly normal these days?

OP posts:

LostInNorfolk · 24/07/2019 10:29

IPA not just lager.

Shop around you can get great offers- don't rule out waitrose cellar and morrissons is great for cheap but good beer, wine and champagne.

LostInNorfolk · 24/07/2019 10:31

You could just tell guests to bring their own if you prefer but you cant charge for stuff that you have bought and are reselling.

It is as bad as making them fund your overseas wedding!

blackcat86 · 24/07/2019 10:31

We did free drinks post ceremony and for toasts but then a paid bar. I've seen some family events get way out of hand due to very drunk guests and that isn't what we wanted.

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Weddings

Tulio · 24/07/2019 10:37

UK here and we had a free bar, but it was very much a DIY affair - had a couple of kegs from a local brewery and then a tonne of wine, bottles, spirits and mixers! Groomsmen mixed drinks for a bit and then it was a freeforall.

I just think there’s something very unfestive about paying for drinks at a celebration. Kind of like having to pay for drinks after Christmas dinner haha

rookiemere · 24/07/2019 11:00

I think if it's not a proper bar that makes things different. We went to a wedding reception in a church hall and the open bar had wine and barrels of beer ( the groom was a real ale fan) then a few bottles of spirits with soft drinks and Baileys for afters. People helped themselves but you could have a couple of people to do that. I think keeping it simple in those circumstances will work , get loads of wine and beer in, but not too many spirits and that way people should naturally have their consumption controlled without it appearing tight.

reluctantbrit · 24/07/2019 11:04

While I do think a free bar is not the norm I would consider two things:

a) how much are the bar prices? I found one venue definitely overcharged and it put a damp on the mood.

b) have a decent amount of free drink with the meal and after the service. And not just wine but also beer, decent soft drinks and decent sparkling wine for the speech and toast.

If you want a free bar you could look into supplying wine and beer yourself and the venue charges a corkage. Also you could limit the free bar to wine, beer, soft drinks with all others like spirits, cocktails are paid by the guest.

mydogisthebest · 24/07/2019 11:11

Almost every wedding I have been to has had a free bar. Only at one did some people take advantage and get really drunk throwing up everywhere and fighting.

tentative3 · 24/07/2019 11:33

One wedding I've been to had free wine/beer/soft drinks all night but you paid for anything else (in a normal wedding venue). I thought that was a fairly good compromise.

A friend got married in a barn (not a wedding venue type barn, if that makes sense) and had free booze for a donation to charity per drink. Bridesmaids kept an eye on the bar in terms of topping things up. Probably wasn't the type of crown to get absolutely smashed

Family member got married at home (huge garden) and supplied all drinks for free. OH and I manned the bar to begin with and it was hilarious to see how people spoke to us before the ceremony, when they thought we were hired in bar staff, and afterwards when it was clear we were family!

All other weddings I've been to have been cash bars. I don't have a problem with that unless the venue charges extortionately or it's cash only and no one has been warned.

hellhavenofury · 24/07/2019 11:45

I am currently having the same conversations with my DP - We have decided a free bar all night is the way to go. We figured that after the arrival drinks (cocktails, bubbly etc) , wine on the tables, toast bubbly and our favours are a miniature spirit bottle to drink on the day our guests will have already had 5-6 drinks before the free bar will kick in so we aren't worried.

hellhavenofury · 24/07/2019 11:46

Just to note - We have budgeted £2.5K on the free bar and we will have around 100 guests for the evening

EmrysAtticus · 24/07/2019 12:01

We had house wine, beer and soft drinks all free. Anything else was paid for (apart from fizz for toast). However we had a lunchtime wedding and no evening do so most people weren't getting that drunk

BarbedBloom · 24/07/2019 12:23

I have never been to a wedding with a free bar. We supplied drinks on arrival and a few bottles of wine on each table and everyone seemed happy enough with that

mydogisthebest · 24/07/2019 12:48

Posters on here always say they haven't been to any or many weddings with a free bar but, as I said, almost all I have been to have been free.

Aragog · 24/07/2019 12:57

Posters on here always say they haven't been to any or many weddings with a free bar but, as I said, almost all I have been to have been free.

Likewise, posters on here always say they haven't been to any or many weddings with a pay bar but, as I said, almost all I have been to have been pay as you go.

Clearly there is no norm. Maybe it varies where you are in the country, or the type of circles you move in. Who knows, but its celery not the norm to have one particular type based on what I read on MN.

RottnestFerry · 24/07/2019 13:12

We had a free bar all day. It was probably top of the list of *must haves" when we were planning, or close to it.

However, we we were running the bar ourselves so it was relatively cheap to do. If I remember correctly, my parents supplied all the wine... 100 bottles each of red, white and fizz, which helped. A lot.

stucknoue · 24/07/2019 13:13

I would have a paid bar but offer reception drinks (Pimms I assume) and a set quantity of wine with the meal plus the toast. With your evening only guest given them a coupon for one drink from the bar or offer them a glass of wine/pimms on arrival. If day guests want more they can buy it too

Honeyroar · 24/07/2019 13:17

I went to at wedding that had free drinks during the day and then a pay bar at night. Evening guests were given two vouchers for free drinks as they arrived, which I thought was a nice gesture.

mindutopia · 24/07/2019 13:19

I've been to both. Actually, I'd say half were probably free bars and half were cash. As long as you tell people in advance, I think a cash bar is fine and as long as they have card readers (so people don't actually have to have cash).

I do appreciate a free bar at a wedding, but I wouldn't expect one. We had free wine, beer, prosecco up until the evening at our wedding and then cash bar after coffee/pudding. The only free bar weddings I've been to were either quite grand affairs or were in a field somewhere where there would have been no cash machines and no signal for a card reader, so I think they probably had no choice.

Figgygal · 24/07/2019 13:19

NEver been to a free bar wedding ever
I wouldn't trust people even in their 30's let alone the people on their 50/60's who love a good booze up

QuantumWeatherButterfly · 24/07/2019 13:23

We did an open bar. It was especially important to DH, who loves being a good host. But we kept it very much under control - the open bar included only beer, wine, cider and soft drinks. No spirits. There was a cash bar elsewhere in the hotel for anyone that wanted spirits, but practically no one did.

We also limited the spend - put a certain amount of money down, beyond which we asked the hotel to tell us if it was running down, so we could decide if we wanted to up it, or cut it off meaning no nasty surprises. As it was, we didn't get anywhere near it - the final bar bill was only just over half what we had budgeted.

Pipandmum · 24/07/2019 13:26

Grew up in America and it’s always free drinks - I was shocked at first wedding here when I was charged for an orange juice!
I think it should be free especially if you are having people just for the evening do (another shock for me - before moving here never heard of just having people for one part of the day).
At our wedding after the dinner our open bar provided beer, soft drinks and wine. I told the staff not to have spirits on display but if someone asked for it to give it to them. I think that prevented anyone getting too carried away. Everyone was fine no one got really drunk.

Expressedways · 24/07/2019 13:35

Every British wedding I’ve been to has had a free bar in one form or another- I don’t think there’s a norm. OP, your plan of free beer/wine and cash bar for spirits sounds great- we did this and I’ve been to a couple of wedding since that have done the same. As others have said, just tell people in advance if it will be actual cash with no card payment option.

RottnestFerry · 24/07/2019 13:36

NEver been to a free bar wedding ever
I wouldn't trust people even in their 30's let alone the people on their 50/60's who love a good booze up

I've been to quite a few and there has been no trouble at all.

The only reception I have been to where there was drink related trouble (a full-on chairs through windows punch up) had a pay bar.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 24/07/2019 13:38

I have been to one wedding with a free bar during the meal, it was in Portugal.

Every other wedding I have been too (and its a few as most of my family and friends are married) has had wine for the meal and processo for the reception but the rest of the drink you pay for yourself. Maybe weddings in the UK are totally different to weddings here in Ireland but I would never expect a free bar!!

I would bring in a company to do the bar and save yourself some money.

Original poster

Littleblurry · 24/07/2019 21:04

No to the poster who asked if I meant wine in boxes!! I meant barrels of ice with bottles of beer and wine in. The wine and beer will be decent quality.

Also didnt mean I'll be buying the drinks from majestic if we have a cash bar. I would hire in a company for that. If we do go down the entirely free bar route I would hire in a company that supply the bar, barmen/maids, ice, glasses etc.

OP posts:

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