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Original poster

What are your best gifts for a man who wants nothing for his birthday...

154 replies

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 12:04

Man in question is in his late 20 and I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all of the gifts I can possibly think of or that I've seen on Mumsnet over the years that he would either enjoy or use.

He isn't into sport and doesn't enjoy trips/experience day type activities. He has plenty of tech, books and clothes. When I ask what he would like his answer is nothing and since I cannot very well buy him nothing I'm left drawing a huge blank.

I'm looking for something which wouldn't get shoved in a draw or on a shelf and forgotten about. Please help me with any ideas you have had which proved to be a hit.

OP posts:
LostInNorfolk · 22/07/2019 15:40

Get nothing

DH and 1 always say nothing and are bought piles of crap by people year on year.

Nothing means nothing, respect what he wants.

People who insist of giving are not doing it for the receiver they are doing it to make themselves feel good.

Really it is very selfish to insist of giving a gift.

popehilarious · 22/07/2019 15:40

I should say my husband was impressed with the formcards but has only once had cause to use them and they didn't quite work for what we wanted.

Spotify subscription?

popehilarious · 22/07/2019 15:42

Any annoying jobs that need doing round the house? New kitchen tap to replace the stiff squeaky one etc?
Research and hire a decent handyman to blitz them...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General shopping
popehilarious · 22/07/2019 15:46

Decent kitchen knife or other equipment is a good idea. I got a kitchen blowtorch once!

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 15:47

Really it is very selfish to insist of giving a gift.

I've covered this on a previous reply so I wont go into it again.

Any annoying jobs that need doing round the house? New kitchen tap to replace the stiff squeaky one etc?

That would be a great idea if we hadn't just spent a fortune doing a very large scale home renovation project which he did not enjoy. I don't think he could cope with any more work being done to the house. Smile A good idea to bank for later in the year though and that could be helpful for Christmas. We like everyone else will always have those jobs that need doing but you always put them off.

OP posts:
twirlypoo · 22/07/2019 15:53

My ex bought has expensive tastes and bought himself anything he wanted so was a nightmare to buy for. His last birthday I got us joint massages, then private hired our local independent cinema and put on his fave film. Other gifts he’s loved were a make your own aftershave experience thing, oh! And I did a rude one for valentines on the 5 senses. Bizarrely his best present that he still talks about was a bloody jigsaw and a jigsaw mat. Rock n roll in our house! Lol!

twirlypoo · 22/07/2019 15:53

I just lolled on mumsnet Blush it’s been a long day!

SamBeckett · 22/07/2019 15:55

Does he like jigsaws ? You can get his fav photo made into jigsaw.
Research the origins of his surname/ find his coat of arms.
One PP recommended a DNA test to find out his heritage, I wouldn't do this , I know someone that did it for their friend - it did not end well Shock

Toooldtocareanymore · 22/07/2019 16:08

you said he likes cooking have you got a nice bbq or set of bbq tools, maybe see if you can invite his friends over for a bbq party, or my sil gave my brother one of those outdoor pizza ovens as she couldn't think what to get him and it was a huge hit.

namechangeninjaevervigilant · 22/07/2019 16:33

Whilst I sympathise with the OPs personal predicament I find this sort of thread so indicative of how materialist society is becoming. Here is a very lucky man who has everything he wants in life and yet his wife is concerned that if she doesn’t spend money on him on his birthday he might not feel valued or cared for.

Make him breakfast in bed OP, write him a thoughtful card, have his favourite dinner waiting for him when he gets home and have a homemade cake with candles and sparklers. There are lots of ways to show him how valued and cared for he is without buying him stuff that he doesn’t want.

My DH is terrible at presents, he has zero imagination, our interests are very different and we are also getting on in life so pretty much have everything we want or need, so most of the time I don’t get a present from him. However he is kind and thoughtful and brings me a cup of coffee every morning in bed (even though the smell of coffee makes him gag). It’s not always what people buy you that make you feel cared for.

WhatAGreatDay · 22/07/2019 16:39

Why don't you listen to him and buy nothing? He has said what he wants. Nothing.

The point of this present seems to be to make you feel good about yourself rather than doing what the birthday man actually wants. It's perfectly possible to respect people's requests.

Invisimamma · 22/07/2019 16:42

He sounds a lot like my dp (who's birthday it is today!). He also doesn't want food/drink gifts this year as we're both trying hard to lose weight.

I got him some wireless earbuds, for whilst he's out for walks/exercising. Because he saw someone wearing some and couldn't believe they existed without wires.

Aftershave....boring but he needed some.

A football top of our country team (not England!)...because he's always wanted one but never wants to pay for it.

A baseball cap, because he asked if he was too old to wear one, so I got him one (it didn't fit).

In the past I have done concert tickets, an Alexa, TV sound bar, clothes, chocolate, cheese, alcohol.

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 16:46

Make him breakfast in bed OP, write him a thoughtful card, have his favourite dinner waiting for him when he gets home

But I do those things most weeks, barring the card though I do leave him notes so they wouldn't feel like a nice gesture as they are common occurrences.

Neither of us are very materialistic and we are not the sort of people who buy things during the year hence why I like to get something special for his birthday and Christmas.

I have already said I appreciate people who have posted on this thread who actually don't want anything but I honestly know this is not the case. He is saying nothing because he cannot think of anything not because he doesn't want a present.

If I gave him nothing for his birthday I know he wouldn't complain or grumble but he would be very disappointed as we always get each other something.

OP posts:
blaaake · 22/07/2019 16:51

When faced with buying a gift for someone hard to buy for I usually veer towards getting something for both of us. Could you not think of something you'd both enjoy and buy it for him?

BrokenWing · 22/07/2019 16:55

You've said loads of things he isn't into, telling us what is he into would be more helpful?

dh and I don't go big for birthdays usually things like:

dashcam/satnav?
nice socks/underwear/belt/sunglasses
clothes/shoes/trainers
good travel mug?
amazon echo/home hub, music subscription/hue lightbulbs
smoothie/coffee maker
nice wallet?
bottle of malt whisky

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/07/2019 16:57

Action Man Deserter
A round tuit

TheSandman · 22/07/2019 16:57

Nobody believes me when I say I don't want anything for my birthday either.

When people get it wrong and buy you something, it's horrible having to pretend to look grateful. Substituting "WTF is THIS?!" with 'just what I wanted' is hard to fake. And it makes you realise that the person giving you the thing doesn't really understand you, or get what it is you are interested in.

Then they either sulk because you're obviously not delighted with whatever it is, or they are happy because you convinced them and this only encourages them to buy more useless ugly things they think you want - but don't.

I'd go with the soapy titwank idea. (or baby oily)

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 22/07/2019 17:00

This is ridiculous. She wants to b uy him a gift and knows her OH well enough to know that he'd like and appreciate a gift. Why do so many people have a problem with that?!

What things does he use everyday OP? Could you upgrade something? Lovely coffee, a Chillys bottle for work, a belt, earphones, a phone case, posh shower gel?

Zogthebiggestdragon · 22/07/2019 17:02

I got my husband a garden tidy one year - a few guys came and cut the hedge / treated the lawn /etc. It made the garden much neater that year! But I see you've said not house related so this might not work.

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 17:02

telling us what is he into would be more helpful?

He's a complex fella who doesn't really have lots of interests but ill try and give you a generic list of stuff he likes.

Watching movies
Zombies
Jurassic Park
Cooking
Tech and gadgets
Reading - but he tends to stick to his favourite authors
Comfortable clothes as he has to dress smartly for work

I appreciate its a very vague list but he doesn't really have a hobby and is happiest at home being a creature of habit.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 22/07/2019 17:05

Dont get him anything, which is likely exactly what he would do if you said to him there was nothing you actually wanted or needed, and there wasnt anything obvious.

Can you ask him if he genuinely doesnt want anything, or whether there is actually something? Maybe a weekend away together, or an evening out to a comedian or gig he likes? A book signed by his favourite author?

Surely he must have some interests?

Chewbecca · 22/07/2019 17:08

Does he like cheese?

A monthly delivery from Pong went down well with my hard to buy for DH.

SimonJT · 22/07/2019 17:09

Would he like one of those zombie escape experiences?

I recently struggled, so I got football tickets and a personalised photo puzzle of ahem ‘something’ but made sure the picture wasn’t on the box.

Chewbecca · 22/07/2019 17:10

Or a cooking class? I received a fab gift of a pasta making class at Atelier des Chefs (something like that), had a great day.

Dowser · 22/07/2019 17:11

Following as in same boat for dh anniversary last week

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