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Original poster

What are your best gifts for a man who wants nothing for his birthday...

154 replies

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 12:04

Man in question is in his late 20 and I'm pretty sure I've exhausted all of the gifts I can possibly think of or that I've seen on Mumsnet over the years that he would either enjoy or use.

He isn't into sport and doesn't enjoy trips/experience day type activities. He has plenty of tech, books and clothes. When I ask what he would like his answer is nothing and since I cannot very well buy him nothing I'm left drawing a huge blank.

I'm looking for something which wouldn't get shoved in a draw or on a shelf and forgotten about. Please help me with any ideas you have had which proved to be a hit.

OP posts:
Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 13:46

Sounds like my other half.

Its nice to know that other have the same problem. It's made worse by the fact he always knows exactly what to buy me even if I didn't know I wanted or needed it at the time.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 22/07/2019 13:56

Why don't you believe that he doesn't want anything? If he could buy anything he wanted whenever, he'd just do that.

And if he doesn't want anything because he doesn't like stuff/waste/shopping for the sake of it, that 'nothing' gift is probably the worst thing you could get him as you've spent money and got some useless plastic just for the sake of you wanting to buy him a gift. It's his birthday, so listen to what he says and make it about him, not you.

Those of us who genuinely don't want anything don't get any joy from being given things when we've explictily said we don't want things. All you are giving us is a feeling of guilt because we have to pretend to be grateful and then use the item, or dispose of it, and feel bad about the waste.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 22/07/2019 14:05

flying lesson, expensive(ish) t shirt, tickets to somewhere like Goodwood or to see a comedian

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namechangeninjaevervigilant · 22/07/2019 14:06

This is my DH absolutely. He is in the happy position of having everything that he wants and we can afford. Occasionally I’ll have a brainwave and think of an obscure movie or boxset I can buy him on DVD that I can stash away for the next birthday or Christmas (Our Friends in the North is currently hidden waiting for December), but apart from that and maybe a box of Lindor chocolates he doesn’t get gifts. He genuinely doesn’t mind, he would much rather we didn’t waste money.

What he does like is company on one of his boring trips to see a boring band he follows so every year I am a dutiful wife and go whatever out of the way pub they are playing in and sit through an entire evening of cacophony.

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 14:10

Why don't you believe that he doesn't want anything?

Like I said previously I know he wants something he is just saying he doesn't want anything because he cannot think of what he would like. If he truly wanted nothing, which I appreciate some people like yourself don't, then I wouldn't buy him a gift but that's not what happening here.

If he could buy anything he wanted whenever, he'd just do that.

He is one of those people who never buys stuff for himself. He'd much rather buy a new rug for the living room or a set of teaspoons for the kitchen than buy himself something just for him.

It's his birthday, so listen to what he says and make it about him, not you.

That seems a little unfair. I'm looking to get him a little something special precisely so the day is about him. He is not one for making a fuss and yet he always makes me feel so valued on my own birthday is it so wrong that twice a year on his birthday and Christmas that I'd like to do the same in return. I want him to know he is appreciated and leaving his birthday unmarked to me just makes it seem like nobody cares.

OP posts:
YahBasic · 22/07/2019 14:13

Things that my DH has loved over the years:

Ancestry DNA kit
Watch box to store his watches
Posh kitchen knife & sharpener
Soda stream
Baking/cooking recipe books & equipment

Purpletigers · 22/07/2019 14:16

He sounds like my husband . One year when pressed he requested a tractor . He meant a real one , I wrapped up one of the kids toys .
In the end he got some craft beer, cider and wine gums . I’ve bought him alpaca socks before which he loves .
If he likes housey things? What about a beautiful print or small painting? A beautiful silver frame with your wedding pic inside ? Carrs sell the smaller ones for around £100 .

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 22/07/2019 14:18

There's some really odd replies on here!

I like the basket of sweets/chocolate suggestion if he likes such things

A batch of Pieminister pies for the freezer

Really good cheese and chutney

Something edible as a gift and then out for dinner. Easy!

newmomof1 · 22/07/2019 14:20

Massage?

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 14:23

I like the basket of sweets/chocolate suggestion if he likes such things

I will certainly get him something edible he does love chocolate and we don't tend to buy it much as I hardly eat it.

A batch of Pieminister pies for the freezer

Unbelievably he doesn't actually like pies I on the other hand could like off pie and mash. I nearly divorced him when I found out (I'm only half joking) but that's a fab idea for my birthday so I'm going to make a note of it.

OP posts:
growlingbear · 22/07/2019 14:23

There must be things he likes doing. If he likes chilling in the garden, buy him a hammock, sun-lounger or a beautiful tree in a pot.

If he likes walking, take him out for the day to a mountaineering shop and get him some new boots or really good socks and gear.
If he likes cycling, upgrade the waterbottle/panniers, cycling shorts etc.

If he's quite elegant, buy him a gorgeous fountain pen and ink, a Jermyn St/Saville Row shirt, a cashmere sweater, or some silk pyjamas.

Since it's going to be boiling hot soon, how about some good aviator sunglasses? Or a new watch?

If he likes the house to look good, buy him a designer lamp to read by

growlingbear · 22/07/2019 14:25

I couldn't think what I wanted this year and DH bought me a silver photo frame with pics of us all at my favourite ever place on holiday inside it.

Kaz2200 · 22/07/2019 14:29

I think an upgrade on something he already uses. Sheepskin slippers, really good quality underwear. Birkenstock sandals, a really nice quality white shirt, or belt.

Bluebell9 · 22/07/2019 14:30

Does he like coffee? I got my DP a coffee maker and then for the next birthday/Christmas I got him a milk frother to go with it. He loves them. And I get him small bottles of flavoured syrups for Christmas stocking fillers.
DP also loves biltong so I got him a biltong box so he can make his own.

I've also taken him to Alton Towers and stayed over in the hotel as he loves theme parks.

NorthEndGal · 22/07/2019 14:37

To avoid this next occasion, maybe try a gift list, on something you can share, like an app like Keep or something.
Whenever you think of a treat you might like , big or small, write it down . Over time you build up a solid list.
Once he sees the types of things you add, he maybe more likely to do the same, especially if he isn't put on the spot.
He probably thinks of good ideas at bad times too!

For now, what about a new desk /gaming chair, one of the nice ones? If he spends a lot of time seated, he would appreciate it!

onemorecakeplease · 22/07/2019 14:38

My husband is the same
Presents he has loved are few and far between but have included

A new shotgun (well a voucher for)
Motorbike intercom system
A new TV
A panini press
An adult scooter (not yet but next time!)
Some geese decoys!
Tools from the hardware shop like a something grinder and something chopper
-I usually go in and say to the man what's new and what would you like to receive and he points me in the right direction!!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 22/07/2019 14:41

Paul Smith socks or boxer shorts

New bag/rucksack

Books

Atlasta · 22/07/2019 14:42

Something he needs that you could get?
New phone? Speakers?Confused
I think I'd do lots of little things, posh chocs, fav film on DVD, nice slippers, etc and cook a romantic meal.

Tiredmum100 · 22/07/2019 14:46

It's my dh's birthday soon too. He's really difficult to buy for. Not into sports or anything like that. Doesn't ever want anything (well, he does like cars way out of my price range).He has suggested a £5 saw off the dc. I'm going to give him some money and have ordered a picture today from 'not on the high street'. Its got basic recipes on it, such as how to make batter, how long to cook meat for etc. I will get him his favourite wine and chocolate, but can't help feel that is repetitive. Is your dh into cooking?

Original poster
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/07/2019 14:55

but can't help feel that is repetitive.

I think this is my biggest problem. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and even though I always manage to find him something I know he will enjoy or get use out of there's only so many years you can chuck in a pair of socks or pants before it begins to seem thoughtless.

Is your dh into cooking?

He really enjoys cooking but isn't much for following recipes. I previously did a subscription box which sent the recipe cards and spices etc but after a few months he didn't seem to enjoy it as much.

Thanks for all the suggestions so far, its encouraging to know that it happens to not just me. Grin

OP posts:
TheViceOfReason · 22/07/2019 14:57

Both my DH and I struggle to think of things we want - we both tend to just buy what we want when we want it - and neither of us want a load of shit or clutter just for the sake of having it.

Now, if neither of us can think of something we really want, we just go for a nice meal or maybe a night in a hotel.

A couple of years ago there was NOTHING i wanted, so DH paid for a meal for us and 2 of my friends - we had a lovely time!

Another year i planned a little road trip and booked a couple of hotels and gave him a printed itinerary - also great fun.

It is a big birthday next year for him - the usual for men is a fancy watch - which is all well and good, but he's just not that into watches, so instead i'm booking us some time in 2 of our favourite cities and will book a few activities, do an itinerary again.

9Greenbottles · 22/07/2019 14:59

What about a Readly subscription - any number of magazines for all sorts of interests.

Have you tried asking him a second time? Things might have popped into his head by now, but I agree, get him to keep a list for the future or you're going to be back here this time next year 😀

myusernamewastakenbyme · 22/07/2019 15:29

How about a world scratch map so he can hang it on the wall and scratch off every country he has travelled too.

user1493494961 · 22/07/2019 15:32

Spend £10 at Poundland, sorted!

popehilarious · 22/07/2019 15:39

Don't buy novelty plastic. If he's like my dh he won't find it funny.

A while ago the MN go-to man presents were Formcards and elastic organiser things, someone will remember the name!
I was thinking of a blacksmithing experience for mine, anything a bit unusual like that near you? You'd have to search them out probably.
Posh cake is also a good one.