I have no friends and it's lonely

[MangoSpice]

Just as my title reads really. I'm in my 40's and while I have lots and lots of acquaintances and colleagues I just don't have any friends. No one to ring to meet up for a coffee or to visit.

It's incredibly lonely and has been brought home as my DH and DC are away this week and I'm home alone. I work term time only and haven't heard from a soul since school stopped at the end of last month.

I do have hobbies and have lots of acquaintances through these but while we chat and laugh together no real friendships have resulted.

I'm just venting (for lack of a better word) really but I am bored and lonely.

I feel the same, OP except I don't even have a dh or dc. If I died unexpectedly, I think it'd be work who first wondered where I was.

I know the feeling. I have DH and DC, but no friends. I have colleagues, some of whom are great, but we sometimes don't see each other for ages if we aren't on the same shifts and I never see any of them outside of work. I don't have any hobbies, because hobbies don't really fit in with my job which is irregular shifts so I can't commit to being somewhere at the same time each week. When I was on maternity leave some weeks the only adult I would speak to except DH was the man who delivers parcels for Amazon (DH orders a lot of things from Amazon).

@IhearyouOP I am so sorry to hear you're alone. If it wasn't for DH it would be my work wondering where I was too.

Where do you live? A million miles from me probably!

@happypotamus you've just described my life exactly. It can be incredibly lonely can't it?

@MangoSpice @happypotamus we have parallel lives!

I'm in the south east @mangospice

Ducking out now because I am always in situations like this the only one without a dh and it just makes me feel worse

Good luck all

I think part of my issue is we got back from holiday 2 weeks ago and I've felt very unsettled since then. I though it was just post holiday blues but I feel a bit like a caged animal, restless and unsettled.

We loved where we were on holiday and I think I have a massive case of 'the grass is greener' but I have no friends to talk to about it.

Totally get this. I have no DH anymore or any DC. Work would probably be the first to notice too. Will probably get eaten by my cats too

I get this too, I only have dh, no other family for either of us, we both work from home so no colleagues to chat with. I often feel really lonely, plus we are in a remote area, not much in the way of evening classes or meet-up groups.

Having no DC is a big factor I find too. All my friends have families and whilst I’m often included in events/outings it’s not the same as having a friend in the same boat as me. Having said that am also not very proactive in doing anything about this.

1 local friend here who I see about 4 times a year. 1 other friend 100 miles away who I see about once a year. It’s poop. If it wasn’t for DH, my mum, sister and brother in law i’d Be really lonely. Would love to have a couple of good buddies to go for coffee with. I’m in the south west if anyone’s interested!

I’m curious, you sound like quite a social person. Why do you think these acquaintances haven’t turned into deeper friendships? Have you asked anyone you got on the most to meet up for a coffee or similar outside of the hobbie environment?

I have no DH either and would actually prefer friends to a new partner.

It's hard to find good friends when you're older

I also have no friends really but have a big family, DH and DC. I guess I’m happy enough and it doesn’t bother me enough to do something about it...

Would be different if I didn’t have family around me.

@Goatrider totally agree with you there, definitely not interested in a new partner.

It oddly reassuring to know I'm not alone.

@Goatrider I try to initiate meet ups and it might happen once but that's generally it. No one contacts me first. When I'm out and about a lot of people say hello and some even stop for a chat but that's as far as it goes.

@MangoSpice you’re totally not alone. I really miss the kinds of friendships I used to have in my 20s, when we were all trying to build careers, meet new people and experiences. Now everyone I know f my age is (rightly) focused on their own families and not interested in new adventures.

@thrumylookingglass it's mad! This week with everyone away I could go anywhere and do anything but I don't get paid until the end of the week. Typical really!

I just want a friend or two I can phone or meet up with now and again. I doubt it's going to happen now though.

@MangoSpice where did you go on holiday? Sounds nice!

@thrumylookingglass We went to the Haven Primrose Valley in North Yorkshire. Used it as a base to explore and loved it. The weather was amazing too which helped.

The journey down was hotter than hell though .

@MangoSpice from Yorkshire myself so, although biased, can see why you enjoyed it. But why do you think the grass is greener here?

Ah mangospice we were there last year and was great !! We went to the Devon one this year our 4th time and that was coming down from Glasgow 😂

@thrumylookingglass I just loved the places (Filey in particular), the people and the feel of the place. Even if I could move it wouldn't be a realistic option at the moment. Think I'm just feeling a bit restless and out of sorts with not having the routine of work.

@foxyknoxy30 it's an amazing park. Devon would be a step o far for us, we're 3 hours from Glasgow so it would take us a couple of days to get there .

@MangoSpice Filey is my favourite place on the east coast. Post holiday blues are always a bitch, but look forward to DH and DC coming home and make some nice plans for the rest of summer.

@thrumylookingglass is just wonderful! Never seen so many dogs in my life as I did there mind you 😄.

You're right, onwards and upwards! Only 3 weeks u TIL school goes back and life returns to its normal chaos. Thank you for listening to my drivel .