I have no friends and it's lonely

[MangoSpice]

Just as my title reads really. I'm in my 40's and while I have lots and lots of acquaintances and colleagues I just don't have any friends. No one to ring to meet up for a coffee or to visit.

It's incredibly lonely and has been brought home as my DH and DC are away this week and I'm home alone. I work term time only and haven't heard from a soul since school stopped at the end of last month.

I do have hobbies and have lots of acquaintances through these but while we chat and laugh together no real friendships have resulted.

I'm just venting (for lack of a better word) really but I am bored and lonely.

[whateverheather]

I mean fell out ! Not felt !

[whateverheather]

I have no friends either . I had very few friends but not really anymore due to falling out with one, ppl moving, life changing etc

Even when I had friends I wasn't considered as a "bestie" just the "meh" friend for everyone. Everyone always had a closer mate then me.

Just went on FB and saw one of my past friends has a best friend from the school run. Her fb post is about what amazing pals they are. Every single mum friend I know has made a bestie apart from me , even tho I tried, I think that's partly why cos I tried too hard. One I felt out with and it's awkward having to see her at the school.

Out of all my few mum friends I know I'm the only one not to have a mum best friend. Obviously something deeply wrong with me cos everyone else has managed this effortlessly bar me.

[thrumylookingglass]

I thought this recent article was quite an interesting take on this subject, and the fact that Ed Sheeran only has 4 friends. www.thetimes.co.uk/article/ed-sheeran-has-only-four-friends-thats-still-more-than-most-of-us-rpnz0ffgs

[Dontgiveamonkeys1350]

I had a bit of a breakdown about a year ago. Barely left the house. Couldn’t function. No one came to check I was okay. And then when I finally felt like I could face the world all my friends had gone. Blaming me for deserting them and ignoring them. Told them many times what was going on. I am getting better albeit slowly. And I’m left with no one.

It’s lonely and I’m so sad some days that I have no friends and how I lost them all to this horrible mental health that I just cry and cry.

[Jishuwa]

Can I join the lonely crowd please? I'm in Co Durham if anybody else near would like a friend. Also further away for virtual friends/texting

[Sn0tnose]

Lonely doesn't mean not knowing people so a meet up with strangers isn't going to help. This is lonely In the context of not having close relationships. Not having someone to just call up and chat to etc.

I completely agree that it’s not going to help in the short term but, in the kindest possible way, how are you planning on forming close relationships if you don’t get out there and see if there are people you click with? Every best friend in the world started as a stranger. Meeting up with other people wanting to make new friends is the perfect way to start things off. Everyone is there for the same reason. Nobody is thinking ‘I’ll be nice and friendly but I’m quite happy with my life the way it is, so won’t be taking this any further’. Everyone will be there, ready and willing to put in the effort. And obviously not everyone will be your cup of tea, but someone might be.

[notmylittleangel]

Lonely doesn't mean not knowing people so a meet up with strangers isn't going to help.
This is lonely In the context of not having close relationships. Not having someone to just call up and chat to etc.

[YetAgainNameChanged]

Have you tried posting a message on the meet up pages on here or on the local pages?

[Hotterthanahotthing]

I have no friends.
I used to have but I married and slowly all my friends drifted away.
I am now divorced but am finding it difficult.Also a shift worker with colleges but no real friendships.
I don't know how to start as we are quite rural too which doesn't help.

[MangoSpice]

I'm so sorry for your loss @redeyetonowheregood and I didn't mean this thread to upset anyone.

[redeyetonowheregood]

I had a beautiful best friend but she died suddenly two years ago. I miss her beyond words. I feel so alone with my thoughts now. I have a husband and children, but no-one I can talk to, mull things over with. I was very lucky to have her and I know I will never find that depth of friendship again. This thread has made me realise just how very lonely I feel.

[stucknoue]

Me too. We've moved a fair amount, I made acquaintances but not friends. I know loads of people but I'm sitting alone, marriage fallen apart and kids getting drunk somewhere (they are old enough). I'm seriously thinking f moving, fresh start but where???

[foxyknoxy30]

Sometimes I think are there a lot more people out there feeling the way we do but are too embarrassed to talk about it? Also I hate facebook as it looks like everyone has a fantastic busy life 🙁

[theliverpoolone]

Me too. As a single parent, I blame not going out on having no family/friends around to babysit - but when dd was away for a week recently I stayed in on my own every night as I had no-one to go out with . I hate this time of year, as no-one ever invites dd and I to meet up or do anything with them, so we just pootle around by ourselves, while everyone else seems to be out and about in big friendship groups.

[MangoSpice]

I have dog and love Grey's Anatomy!! Happy to chat too

[Alwaysgrey]

I’m friendly but never seem to advance beyond casual acquaintances. It’s very disheartening. I’m in the South East. Just having someone to chat to would be nice. Even online. So if anyone fancies a chat with a friendly, dog owning, greys anatomy fan 🙂 I’m happy to have virtual coffee and cake.

[MangoSpice]

Foxy that would have been great!

Remind me to never again volunteer to help my teenage son sort out his room. It's been like a weird treasure hunt.

[foxyknoxy30]

Think it's a curse of modern day living, ahh pity mangospice your 3 hours away we could have had a good chinwag and moan 😁

[dustarr73]

God im in the same boat.I have dp and dc but im so lonely.Nobody to call up and go for a drink.

I seem to make friends but lose them.And i always make the first move.

[theemmadilemma]

Can I suggest looking at some local FB groups?

I help Admin a local one for anxiety and we're now starting to work towards all meeting up and getting us out and about.

And while right now some are only 'online' friendships, and I can see many of them now turning into real life ones.

Local groups etc.?

Is that you feel you are only making acquaintances and not real friends when you venture to your hobbies?

My Partner moved many miles away from friends and family and he's slowly managed to build up a great number friends here. Far more than me.

But I'm quite an introvert. It doesn't sound like you're anxious about going out?

[MangoSpice]

Going by this small thread it looks like being friendless isn't all that unusual. The 'friend' who was my bridesmaid basically cut me off when we moved here from the city. I tried keeping in touch but she's very much a city mouse and has loads of friends. Ironically she says her friends are really important to her but I've given up always being the one to initiate contact. We're now at the point of Facebook likes only which is sad.

I'm about to start redesigning my second sons bedroom which will stop me wallowing and keep me out of mischief.

[bonitakitlee]

I'm in Wales, people are friendly and I can drop in for coffee, but they have their own very busy lives, and I haven't formed strong friendships. I dont have family as my family has been destroyed beyond repair and that will always be my source of loneliness.

[Slaymill]

I'm in Shropshire since I moved up from London. I haven't made any friends I'm quite chit chatty and even when my son was at nursery/school the mothers would actually sit in silence waiting for the collecting time or were not over friendly.

I'd love someone to meet up with for tea and cakes and days out with my DS. My partner is often away and I live in tiny village so I'm stuck. I love Scotland OP shame I'm not nearer.

[YetAgainNameChanged]

@mangoSpice I could have written that OP myself. Have moved around too much, from one end of the country to the other, with several moves in between. Met lots of people but not kept in touch. Its really difficult.

[ElizabethBennetismybestfriend]

Me too. DD about to go to university so life is going to get very lonely. I work from home too so no work colleagues. I have DH and a DS who is grown up and lives away but no one to meet for coffee and a catch up.