Controversial topic(smoking and pregnancy)

[FTM05xx]

I know as I'm writing this post that people on here are going to be VERY bothered by this topic.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️

So I'm 33w pregnant and yes I still smoke, but before you all jump on the bandwagon that I don't care about my child... let me explain myself.

Before I got pregnant, I had severe mental health, I was told for years that I couldn't have children, I was in a abusive relationship, I was on countless tablets for depression and anxiety, drinking to the extreme and even went down the suicidal route...

How I managed to meet the guy I am with now I'll never know, he literally pulled me from darkness into the light, after being with him for only a mere 6 months I fell pregnant, first of all I was in denial but as soon as I went and had it confirmed in the doctors I STOPPED everything, all my tablets (which can be so dangerous for my health) but the tablets I were on are known to cause fetal death and I WAS NOT risking that, I also stopped drinking( I don't even think of alchol now as it makes me feel sick) I suffered from serve panic attacks and sweats from coming off my tablets, I suffered hallucinations, I suffered badly... but what got me through it was the little baby growing in my belly.

I went to the doctors, I spoke to my midwives and I told them everything, I also told them I was still smoking and it was the Only thing I couldn't stop altogether, I used to smoke around 25/30 a day... now I'll smoke 5-10 and on a bad day possibly 15, I had the smoking women come to my home everyweek for the first 2 months, we tried everything possible.. but everytime I would stop smoking even for a day, I would suffer severe panic attacks, be so emotional I couldn't speak, the amount I cried to my partner and my doctors, midwives, consultants about me being the worst person ever and not loving my baby because that's what I'd been told from people who knew I smoke (I DO NOT SMOKE IN PUBLIC BTW) my midwife actually set up a meeting with myself, my partner and mother and told me how well I was doing, she told me how proud I should be of myself, she also told me the risks of smoking and even now I have cut down to maybe 5 a day and sometimes I might use a e-cig and only have one cigarette, I still feel guilty but I know that my baby would suffer more if my health went bad... I just want people to be more aware of why some people do things.. I personally would NEVER be able to drink alchol or take drugs(cocaine, Heroine) and think it's disgusting... but what are people's stories? Am I really a bad person for what I'm doing? My baby is growing perfect, she's weighing in at 4pound already and her heartbeat is sooo strong.

I am not trying to say smoking is ok through pregnancy but if anyone else is going through or has been through what I have... know I am proud of you. I know how hard all of this has been and yes I smoke but I know that I am better person now than before my little girl, I will stop one day. I will become a healthier person for my child, but right now I need to stay strong for my miracle baby.

Also why wouldn't you go back on meds after baby? You managed this out of love for their body but they won't be in you anymore, motherhood is a major stressor and can cause Mh problems for even the previously healthy. I would 100% go back on them when you've given birth.

Really wish I didn't click on this. I miscarried at 11 weeks. I'm childless and may never become pregnant again. Reading stuff like this - someone trying to justify smoking 15 a day during pregnancy - is fucking heartbreaking.

Pure selfishness and utter disregard for the health of your baby.

Oh dear OP.

I wish you hadn't posted this if I'm
honest because given where you've come from won't make any difference to at lot of people on this forum and I'm worried about the impact it may have on you.

You already know it's bad to smoke whilst pregnant.

However, well done for going down from 30 a day to 15.

So rather than the awful comments can we make some suggestions as to how to reduce that further?

Smoking is a very hard addiction to break.

My suggestions are to find a replacement activity whenever you want a cigarette.

For me, it was making a cup of camomile tea, but I had make it in a teapot and to have it in a nice cup and saucer - it was I suppose replacing one ritual with another, but much more healthy (and easily done at work).

A friend found it helpful to "count the money" whilst giving up. Every cigarette she didn't smoke went into a jar that she eventually used to buy something she'd always wanted but couldn't afford.

In your case what about putting the money in a jar for every cigarette you don't smoke to spend on something lovely for your baby?

With the greatest respect OP, I don't care what your circumstances are you shouldn't smoke.

OP it seems to me you've rushed into having a baby in a new relationship before you were ready. You'd been with him 6 months, you're still a heavy smoker and you have mental health issues.

What's done is done now, but literally as soon as you've had this baby, you need to get an IUD/implant/long term contraceptive and then you need to focus on your mental health including whatever medicines are necessary. I'm a big breastfeeding advocate but if the best meds are not compatible with BF then use formula. Do not have another baby until your health is in order which includes quitting smoking.

I'm not going to judge you OP but you should probably stop judging others in turn. If you want to smoke, smoke. You don't need to justify it by saying that others are worse and looking down on them. You think drug users are disgusting? You are one - nicotine is a drug. And anyway you have no idea what that hypothetical person has been through.

Also no point trying to justify it by saying "oh well everything's banned in pregnancy these days, who knows what's real" as per your 2nd post. Yes, and some of the advice is debated but smoking is pretty much the one thing everyone agrees is harmful.