Controversial topic(smoking and pregnancy)

[FTM05xx]

I know as I'm writing this post that people on here are going to be VERY bothered by this topic.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️

So I'm 33w pregnant and yes I still smoke, but before you all jump on the bandwagon that I don't care about my child... let me explain myself.

Before I got pregnant, I had severe mental health, I was told for years that I couldn't have children, I was in a abusive relationship, I was on countless tablets for depression and anxiety, drinking to the extreme and even went down the suicidal route...

How I managed to meet the guy I am with now I'll never know, he literally pulled me from darkness into the light, after being with him for only a mere 6 months I fell pregnant, first of all I was in denial but as soon as I went and had it confirmed in the doctors I STOPPED everything, all my tablets (which can be so dangerous for my health) but the tablets I were on are known to cause fetal death and I WAS NOT risking that, I also stopped drinking( I don't even think of alchol now as it makes me feel sick) I suffered from serve panic attacks and sweats from coming off my tablets, I suffered hallucinations, I suffered badly... but what got me through it was the little baby growing in my belly.

I went to the doctors, I spoke to my midwives and I told them everything, I also told them I was still smoking and it was the Only thing I couldn't stop altogether, I used to smoke around 25/30 a day... now I'll smoke 5-10 and on a bad day possibly 15, I had the smoking women come to my home everyweek for the first 2 months, we tried everything possible.. but everytime I would stop smoking even for a day, I would suffer severe panic attacks, be so emotional I couldn't speak, the amount I cried to my partner and my doctors, midwives, consultants about me being the worst person ever and not loving my baby because that's what I'd been told from people who knew I smoke (I DO NOT SMOKE IN PUBLIC BTW) my midwife actually set up a meeting with myself, my partner and mother and told me how well I was doing, she told me how proud I should be of myself, she also told me the risks of smoking and even now I have cut down to maybe 5 a day and sometimes I might use a e-cig and only have one cigarette, I still feel guilty but I know that my baby would suffer more if my health went bad... I just want people to be more aware of why some people do things.. I personally would NEVER be able to drink alchol or take drugs(cocaine, Heroine) and think it's disgusting... but what are people's stories? Am I really a bad person for what I'm doing? My baby is growing perfect, she's weighing in at 4pound already and her heartbeat is sooo strong.

I am not trying to say smoking is ok through pregnancy but if anyone else is going through or has been through what I have... know I am proud of you. I know how hard all of this has been and yes I smoke but I know that I am better person now than before my little girl, I will stop one day. I will become a healthier person for my child, but right now I need to stay strong for my miracle baby.

So you think a woman who drinks alcohol or has a couple of lines of coke during pregnancy is disgusting, but you want people to accept and not judge you for smoking through your pregnancy?

Additionally, you may want to discuss with your doctor about going back on your meds. Some are only a risk to the baby in the first trimester, some are riskier later. It might be that you can start them again, and then you'd have no excuse to smoke.

Don’t understand why you posted at all.

I'm actually surprised at how supportive a lot of the replies have been and even the ones that aren't are very mild compared to a lot I have seen on MN (and, as a pp said, usually much less warranted than this).

This, from a pp, is a very valid point though. How are you going to get around this when the baby arrives?
W^*hen the baby comes, please please do not smoke around them or bed share. This is a massive risk of SIDs (cot death).

It you smoke when baby comes, don't handle the baby for 45 mins after a cigarette as the chemicals in your breath is also a big risk factor for SIDs, it needs to be out of your system. Mouth wash or chewing gum doesn't make the chemicals go away.*^

I'm not sure what the point of this thread is other than to general controversy.

If you wouldn't hurt your baby outside of the womb, why on earth would you do it while they're in the womb? There are well documented health implications from smoking in pregnancy. Motherhood is about putting your child first. Start now.

Quite frankly, I don't know how people afford to smoke these days!

Super Gross. The mother opposite me in recovery begged me to watch her hours old baby so she could go out and smoke and was patting herself on the back for going five days without smoking. How can such a filthy habit come before your newborn

Despite all the support you're getting here, I have just re-read your OP and it reads worse on a second reading. Rolling my eyes quite a bit at the references to "my miracle baby" and "what got me through it was the little baby growing in my tummy"....well, no, clearly what's getting you through is your fags.

As I said in a previous post, it's your life, your body, your baby and it's your decision. But I find your sanctimonious attitude towards people who drink or use drugs pretty shit tbh.

Vape, vape, vape, & use a nicotine patch - you get used to it fast & it’s way better than smoking - yes not perfect I know but better

Stop Smoking.
You are harming your baby.
There is no excuse
I say this as an ex smoker with a complex life history. You CAN do it, you've proven will power and strength with everything else you have overcome. You've done a great job to get where you are.
Now just finish the job & Stop Smoking.

I can only speak for what I have posted, but I am of an age where I can remember not only being able to smoke in pubs and restaurants, but also on the tube, buses, trains, planes, almost anywhere. Even non smoking parents could not keep their babies away from smoking ALL of the time. So many more people smoked, so it was impossible to keep your baby away from "toxic breath". So me personally, I think the current guidance is a bit overkill. I agree with the washing hands, changing tops thing but only because it's not nice for the baby to smell of smoke, not because I believe there's any real risk. Yes I'm aware of research, links to SIDs etc but the high rate of SIDs back then was attributed to a number of factors, one of the biggest being mums advised to put their baby to sleep on their front. So it wasn't all down to smoking. In fact no one has ever been able to really say whether smoking causes SIDs or not. Not as a standalone factor. Only that it "increases risk". That's why I am not being judgmental of the OP. But then I wouldn't judge a pregnant woman drinking a glass of wine either!

You need to stop smoking. I think it was pretty selfish getting pregnant when you were only with your partner for 6 months and you have mental health issues. Probably controversial but I believe it should be what’s best for the child you are bringing into the world.

I think tbf, if you smoke during pregnancy you’re hardly going to adhere to the advice about not handling baby for 45 mins after a fag . And OP may well be back on her medications so probably wouldn’t be bed sharing.

OP a close friend smoked on and off, 1 or 2 throughout pregnancy for similar reasons. She was very unwell and trying to get a late termination at one point, close to being sectioned.

I don’t judge but don’t think you should judge drug users. All the help and reassurance you’re getting now from medical staff, they’re giving the same service to heroin addicts, they’re supporting you

I’m not sure what you want from this thread?

Sympathy and a pat on the back? You say you’re getting that from your medical team so if that’s true I don’t know why you’re seeking the approval of randoms on the Internet.

If it’s to detail a sad back story and ask people to be more understanding then you’re going about it the wrong way by including a lot of judgement of what other pregnant mothers feel comfortable doing. You can’t possibly think half a glass of champagne at a wedding when you’re pregnant is the same as 15 fags a day. It’s not. You’ll find no one who says it is because they’d be lying.

If you’re happy with your choices then that’s fine. You’re telling yourself a story which helps. But don’t expect validation or think you can lecture anyone else.

My mother and grandparents all smoked through their pregnancies and all the children were healthy

Read that again...

my husband has asthma and so does his brother. From what i read online this is highly likely to have been caused by his mother's heavy smoking during pregnancy and when they were young. would i wish asthma on anyone no, as its not a great health risk

My friends mum smoked through 10 pregnancies (no point giving up I guess) and my friend always says they were unharmed. They are a lovely family, some of them incredibly high achieving and all doing extremely well, with no serious health problems but I always feel like pointing out to her that half of them are tiny, including grown men who are like 5ft 5.

Mum smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish throughout all her pregnancies.

I'm 155cm. Of course, she's 150. And Dad was only five foot five. So it would have been surprising if any of us had made the basketball team. . .

We were fine. But that doesn't say anything about someone else, whether their baby will be fine. We know that some babies most certainly are not. And yes, you are taking that risk. That is undeniable, and something everyone has to face and accept, when they do something that is not optimum, and does have a known risk attached. And live with the consequences if your baby is not fine, and the guilt. As does your baby.

Absolutely no idea why you posted this.
The mention of your baby's heartbeat scares me - so what, if the heartbeat had slowed or - what, stopped? You would stop?!

Your poor baby.

What did you hope to achieve by posting this?

I get that you are trying to do your best. But honestly, some of mental health medications you were on would probably have been a safer bet to continue than smoking. Have you talked to your mental health team about medication that is safer in pregnancy?

I agree with the previous poster, not all medication for mental health problems is unsafe in pregnancy. There would be no shame in restarting after you give birth if it will help you.