The saddest bedtime routine - does it get better?

[cornflakes5]

Our bedtime routine with DD (15 months) used to go like this: books, bath (including brushing teeth) breastfeed, bed. She loved lifting all the flaps in the books and having a romp around our bed, then bath, then cosy breastfeed, then into the cot drowsy and asleep within seconds.

We felt it wasn't right breastfeeding after brushing her teeth, and our HV agreed, and suggested we do milk, bath, books then bed. Apparently most people do it this way.

We've been doing it the new one for a week now and it's really miserable. Everything fine up until DD is dried and put into her sleeping bag. The minute she sees the book come out, she starts crying. Crying becomes wailing as the book goes on, and by the time she's in her cot she's beside herself. She then cries herself to sleep. Every night. This makes me so sad, but is there another way? As an aside, DD has never been a good sleeper, and cries herself to sleep for naps, but somehow this feels worse for proper bedtime.

Anyone got something wise or reassuring to say please? 🙇🏻‍♀️

You can breastfeed after brushing teeth. On clean teeth it has a protective effect. When it is in combination with food particles it can be damaging. I would go back to the old routine. Health visitors do not usually receive training on breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding at night has ruined my boy’s teeth but it was a combination of poor latch and (undiagnosed til too late) upper lip tie so the milk was sitting on his front teeth by the gum

Just wait until they start mainlining Fruit Shoots (other overly sweet drinks are available) and the small white plastic mouth piece is sitting in the prefect position to pour sugar directly onto the front teeth. That's the time to start worrying in my book.

My dentist confirmed to me that milk does no harm whatsoever to teeth....
Go back to the old routine!!

What about the people that do a dream feed. Feeling like the worst mother now because I brush his teeth during bath , then story and breast milk.

Then he wakes up few hours later and gets milk again.. and I won’t brush his teeth until the morning..

I’m at my wits end with trying to get him to sleep so I manage my life and I admit I still have a lot of improving to do.

Frankly he is 17 months and still breastfeeds through the night and so ... doesn’t matter he will still not have his teeth fully clean during the night. I just brush it for the sake of residue not rotting on there

Always been bottle last for us

Bath, book, bottle, cuddle, bed

Thank you everyone so much! Reading everyone's responses and feeling so so relieved I wasn't alone in the old routine, and reverting to it won't necessarily ruin her teeth. I still give her a feed overnight, so it's not like her teeth remain pristine from bath until morning anyway.

Thank you to those who said to BF then quick brush then bed. Unfortunately the BF does need to be last act in the sequence for this particular baby, otherwise she will still cry! Nothing - singing, rocking, holding hands, staying in the room - can stem crying except boobs!

Have you tried the pantly pull off method (Google it). Did it with two of mine and it was really useful in getting them to self soothe still see them using it when asleep when camping and they are into double figures now, can't watch them sleep at home now because apparently that's just weird!

Thank you to those who posted links to La Leche League and Kelly Mom. I've seen those arguments before, but can't shake off the thought that these websites are pro-BF and could be biased. I've seen discussions on MN where people claiming to be dentists say there's a clear link between BF and dental caries. It's really difficult to know what to think.

They have 'milk teeth' for a reason. Feed to sleep. Happiness is everything. Everything.

Well all mine were breast fed to sleep and during the night if restless, until they were about 2. They're all now early to mid 20s and don't have a single filling.

Mine too Medievalist

Babies thrive on routine, especially bedtime routines. She’s just unsettled by it but she’ll forget how it used to be soon. Give it time.

I always did BF last as it sent her to sleep. Maybe go back to the original back plan if it worked well.

Even on dentist forums breastfeeding at night is hotly debated! I think that as long as the baby isn't feeding on demand all night (and i mean basically sleeping with boob in their mouth) and, crucially, their diet is very low in sugar during the day you should be ok.
But make sure you have regular dentist checks and don't give raisins 😊
And brush twice daily with a smear of toothpaste. This is very important too.

Another one who BF last untill mine gave it up. He hated teeth cleaning and it genuinely involved me pinning him most nights and meant it I did that last he’s get all worked up and upset. His teeth are fine. I really wouldn’t worry in your case either if she’s still having the feed overnight as you wouldn’t be brushing after that anyway

I avoided this problem by giving my DC a dummy to suck themselves to sleep with, after their teeth had been properly cleaned. They’re in their late 20’s now, with excellent teeth.

I also did BF last. I stopped when she was about 16 months so DP did bedtime for a week and a bit while my milk dried up. We changed routine then as she would have a cup of cow's milk, watch TV then clean teeth and a book in bed.
DD is now 9 and teeth are fine.

I bf both mine at night until 2. No problems with teeth. Just go back to old routine, sounds lovely.

Breastmilk doesn't rot children's teeth like cow's milk/formula does.

Both my children had a breastfeed immediately before sleep at night until they were 3. Both have perfect teeth.

That's utter nonsense do what makes you all happy, my DD was bf to sleep until she was nearly 4 she has lovely teeth, would not do this with formula or cow milk but breastmilk is fine.

My DS was a milk fiend and I always BF him before bed. Later he had a bottle of milk while I read story. I knew this was bad but it was the only way he would go to sleep.

He's 17 now and has perfect teeth, no fillings.

Just do what works for you.

I feed my 1 year old last thing and about 4 times in the night.
Go back to your happy bed time. :-(

I bf both my kids before sleep for three years each, no resulting dental issues (now 9 and 5). Do what makes you both happy!