Boob swap anyone?

[Vinotinto78]

Jetting off on hols soon. First time abroad in about 10 years. Had visions of sunning myself in a nice, not too revealing bikini. Turns out this is an impossibility for the large of nork unless I re-mortgage to fund the necessary scaffolding. Boobs and summer just don’t mix. Bought 3 of the damn things so far. All useless (bottoms are fine, tops are woeful). E-cup life is rubbish. Used to be stylish but these days they enter the room 2 minutes before the rest of me. Feel like Babs Windsor except I’m a committed introvert. Not a good combo.

34F here. I was just thinking today how much better everything I wear would look if I had smaller tits. I have always hated them. Feeling your pain!!

I’m a G currently, not likely to be in a bikini anytime soon but you have my sympathies.

Have you tried brastop?

Yup, even find my 34DDs too much - they instantly make you look tarty or frumpy

Hate them. I was grateful when I was young and lithe. Two kids and two stone later they are a bloody nuisance. They just don’t suit my personality, if that makes sense. I’d be interested to know any tricks for disguising them. Bought a minimiser but it just gave the pan-lid effect. Not great.

Be proud of your assets.
I lack curves and am envious of you.

30G.

Backache. Grooves in shoulders. Under boob heat rash. Nothing fits.

I feel you!

Pah! 30J here. Ugly.

Depending on the band size an e cup isn't large ! I'm a 30 ff and I wouldn't say mine are massive by any stretch of the imagination and they certainly don't enter the room 2 mins before me - are you sure that you are really only an e cup ?! I usually buy separate tops and bottoms (panache brand) from eBay (last year's styles)

Yep. I'm an F. And they really make me look larger than I am. The trouble is it's not like the rest of you, that you can tone up to be a bit more svelte. I prefer the exercise to the calorie control route but that doesn't work with norks. I will have to bite the bullet and try and diet the things down. But yes I agree there's the tarty/frumpy dichotomy. Never just curvy/sexy. I feel matronly tbh.

It depends Reject. A 30ff isn't comparable to a 36 or 38 ff.

I’m a 32E reject.
I’m exaggerating. But only slightly. I guess they seem bigger from my vantage point. I guess we always want the opposite of what we’re given. I’m more than self-conscious enough, before the comedy tits 👙. I’ll have a gander at panache.

32FF here, feel your pain OP. I wouldn't dare wear a bikini but I have had great success getting lovely bras from ebay. I know that sounds a bit minging, but so many people seem to buy then not wear for ages, putting on/losing weight in the meantime, or wear once then never again because they were a bad fit, forgetting/not managing to take back for a refund on time. So a lot of these unworn/barely worn bras end up on ebay at a fraction of the shop price. Perhaps it's a similar story for bikinis.