Do you think you are a good mother?

[jennymanara]

And whatever your answer why?
I am just interested really.

I'm another one who swings between thinking I'm doing an excellent job and then having a bad day making me question every single decision I make.

I do the best I can with the circumstances I'm given which I think is what most mums are doing.

Ok
I think. Ds's both teenagers. Parenting is harder than I thought.. My mum and Dh's mum made it look easy.

No. I don't like my 13 year old DD- behaviour, attitude, friendship choices etc and feel like I have got it so wrong..

Sometimes. Mostly, probably.
I love them, I try hard to make sure they feel loved and supported, I work hard for them and provide for them.
I find motherhood hard, though, and I think they realise that.

I dont know. I worry that I'm not, and my husband says that's precisely why I am....
A lot of the time, I think so though

Yes... But that answer could change as we move into the teenage years. They are great kids but I can see changes ahead that I feel uncertain about and that my parenting skills are going to be tested.

Interesting.
I honestly think I have a balance between what is right for me and what is right for the kids.
85% of the time I am on it. 15% not a disaster but could do better.

FWIW my mum would be on here saying yes saying she has 3 devoted adult children and she was and is ace. It doesn’t feel like that from her children’s point of view.

I think Im good at some strands of parenting. If im not good at something I try and read up on it and get better.

I was a good mother to babies. toddlers and to teens and young adults. In hindsight I was a bit crap at the bit in between, which I regret very much.

I'm a much better mother now both of my DC are in secondary school.

I'm really proud of how they're turning out. I was shit at mothering until they hit 10/11 ish. If I could go back in time I would, but then they wouldn't be the confident, independent funny teen and almost teen that they are today.

No. I am a pretty poor mother I think. It is certainly not a strength anyway and a source.of great sadness to me really. I have a short temper and do not.seem.to.have inherited my mother's need to.take care of people. I do take care of them but it is always a bit of a burden to me if I am absolutely honest, though I try very hard ( not always successfully) to hide that feeling..

I am generally too.short-tempered,.moody restlesss and a bit too lazy to make a naturally good.parent.

On the other hand I try really hard to do what I belive is best for my child and I obviously take care of the basics ( food, safe home,reasonable consistency etc) but no i.would.say I am.too.volatile to make an excellent parent.

Yes, it's about the only thing I can be certain about!
I had a very difficult and traumatic childhood, I've done everything I can both physically and mentally to ensure DS does not have the same experiences I have.
DS told me his worst memory from childhood a few weeks ago (he's 15 now)- turns out it was the day he broke a guitar string while warming up at his exam. It's safe to say that our childhoods are a million miles apart

@LauderSyme Thank you. I don't feel like it most of the time though. It doesn't help that DH is a SAHD and I'm at work all day. I just don't feel I have that bond with my son.

Oh, I should also add that I am a good mother to a teenager. I really didn't feel parenting a baby / toddler was a great strength at all and I feel I made many mistakes to get to where I am today.

I'm told I am. My exH however thinks I'm emotionally abusing my children and have munchausens and munchausens by proxy as well as being psychotic. I'm a single mum of 3. Youngest was not wanted by his dad so he's only seen him once. I do everything for all 3. ExH does no parenting of DDs.
At the moment circumstances are ensuring that I'm teaching them all to have strong boundaries and not tolerate any crap from anyone. ExH is very abusive and I work hard to protect them from that and to instil boundaries so they protect themselves as court says they have to see him.
I don't have much money until I go back to work when ds goes to school but I try my best to give them lots of experiences and take them to as many places I can for short breaks as I can't afford proper holidays.
I'm always there for them and they can, and do, talk to me about anything.
I try my best but I'm bloody knackered and could always do better

I think so most of the time. Like everyone i have lapses or days when life just seems tough putting two other peoples needs first!

Not the perfect mother I thought I'd be.
I love ds more than life but I'm not into "kiddie" things e.g roleplay,running around games and messy play I'm more of a colouring in,reading type mum.
I had pnd and it took me a year to bond properly with him and I'll hold that guilt forever.
I'm the best mum I can be,hes loved,hes safe and hes happy.

No.. but im not the worst
I have a short fuse and really hate chores, nagging them to get dressed or clean up, and most childish endeavours. Practically everyday there is an incidence of me 'blowing up' and yelling in frustration
I cannot stand arts and craft or playing but im decent at drawing and quite sporty (tennis etc) i guess like to play at higher level but dont get chance to
I like reading but dont get the chance to nor do they sit still listening for more than 2 minutes
I worry a lot and am a bit anxious
Im not very sociable
i want to be better but dont know how, have to work full time, no family both sides at all, and very lucky not single parent but am so. very. tired.

My boys say I am, so that's good enough for me. We have very open, honest, respectful and fun relationships so that's also good enough for me.

For myself, I don't ever really think about it. I am what I am, I do what I do. I used to think I was quite strict but when I told my boys they both laughed heartily and told me I was soft as butter

My mother was a terrible mother but always used to insist that she was a Good Mother. I just try to the exact opposite of what she did and it seems to work.

I feel like @Thisisbear. I have a short fuse, get really frustrated by mess and asking my DC to tidy up over and over again (otherwise I have to do it all), yell at least once a day.

I also worry a lot e.g. are they eating enough vegetables/ getting enough exercise/ watching too much tv, and end up nagging them about it.

They are lovely children, sociable, active, kind... but I think this is DESPITE of me, not BECAUSE of my parenting.

I often go to bed at night feeling guilty about giving them a hard time and yelling at them, and I worry that they'll hate me eventually. I spend a lot of time apologising to them and telling them I love them, but I wish I could just be a calmer parent.

I think so, I suppose I could do better in some areas (maybe take him to that bloody singing group I keep putting off because I sound like a drowning cat.... or make every single BLW meal organic with 0 nasties in them) that might upgrade me to an 'amazing' mum. He's only 7 months old though and I feel like I'm doing pretty good so far

Yes. Both my kids have told me relatively recently how much they appreciate me. They are both in their early 20's, so that's very meaningful.

I could probably be better. I'll admit that i find certain games and crafts and cooking with the kids very tedious while other mums seem to thrive on it. But my ds is incredibly kind and caring. I do things with him like swimming and cinema trips and days out purely because I know he'll enjoy them. I try my best to juggle work and parenting and the house and there are definitely areas that are scrimped on sometimes.

But my ds is loved and is a good person so I think that's enough and I won't beat myself up over hating glue and glitter 😂

Mine are 26 and 20 and I’m absolutely adored by both so i must have been acceptable (. as my eldest would say)

I'm not sure. I have a short fuse too (though I try to identify my triggers and be patient) and I really crave time to myself, which isn't hugely compatible with having a young child. But I rock on the organising and planning ahead side of things, and I try to make time to just be with or play with DD daily. And I'm lucky with the baby I got, I think.