Make up a thread title and answer it in a few words.

[ThisIsNotAIBUPeople]

I'll go first. (I'm really really bored)

What do you think of these girls names.
They are mediocre.

Help find me a dress.
No. My fashion sense is shit.

Should I go to this party?
Only you can decide.

Are these sandals awful

Fucking hell yes.

*DC got shoved at soft play
*
All kids are fair game at soft play

*Am I eating too much?
*
No, your three romaine lettuce leaves a day are sufficient

Please critique my house on RightMove

DEAR GOD MY EYES

I'd really love to give some of these answers on actual threads. Maybe I will one day

*What do you think of my balayage?
*
Please shave your head immediately.

Any doctors out there- I have a lump and can’t get an appointment at GP

Yes well you see it might be very serious, or it might not be......... (I knew on MN someone would call on my doctorate in philosophy skills.)

I hate this hot weather

Move somewhere cold

I hate this cold weather

Move somewhere warm

I hate this rain

For the love of God would you just stop moaning about the weather

AIBU? PFB got hurt at
Yes. Stop going to bastarding softplay

Should I go NC with psycho bitch MIL from hell?
Of course. Possibly LTB, too

I’m fucking my husbands best friend. Please don’t flame me.
🔥

AIBU?

Yes.

Alternative answer: Hell yes.

Could I be pregnant?
Have you had sex? Yes? Then yeah...you could be

Is this person a cheeky fucker?
Possibly. But more likely you just wanted to create your own boring bloody CF thread on MN

DH says I can’t see my friends, work, use our joint account or cut my hair. Red flag?
Yep.
But I love him and he’s a great dad...
Righty-oh

Its another parking one

NOBODY CARES

I walked in to find him boinking the babysitter on the kitchen counter. Is he cheating on me as he says it was a misunderstanding and they were having a tickle fight.

Yes.

what should I have for tea tonight?
Food.

my child won't eat vegetables
Have you bought organic ones from waitrose's a la carte range? They're 74 times more expensive but they're sown when the moon's of Jupiter are in perfect alignment with Neptune for the perfect sweet taste. You can also blend them into a hidden veg pasta sauce so they won't even know.

Rogue apostrophe sorry.

Gardening - what plant is this?
It's a green one.

Education - My DC was held in solitary confinement today because they asked a question. Is this breaking their human rights? Should I call ofsted?
Am I right in thinking they disrupted the lesson and were kept back briefly at break?
Yes, thought so.
No Ofsted won't care.

Is my child gifted because they are always best in maths?
Who knows? Pay for an assessment if you're that bothered about a label.

I shagged a tinder random a month ago and despite the fact I’ve whatsapped him 46 times since he hasn’t replied? Have I been ghosted?
It would seem so

birthday party cf? My dd had her birthday party in a village hall. All was lovely but one mum brought along the dc who’s in my dd class+ 6 siblings, 5 dsc and 11 1st cousins. They ate all of the part my food and won all of the party games. Was she being a cf

Yanbu. Yes

My DH has a long-term female friend. We sometimes go for a meal with her and her DH. She's just sent my DH a photo of our kids playing together and a text saying she's looking forward to seeing us next weekend.

He's having an affair with her. Make him show you his phone, LTB, get a free half hour consultation with a solicitor, change the locks, transfer half the money from the joint account, make a claim with the CSA.

My DW has a long-term male friend. We sometimes go for a meal with him and his DW. He's just sent my DW a photo of our kids playing together and a text saying he's looking forward to seeing us next weekend.

Why are you snooping on her phone?

These really cheered up my boring evening