How important is how you look to you?

[sayalittlerayer]

Body, hair, makeup, clothes, etc etc etc.
What's important to you and what's not important and why?
Approaching 45 and trying to suss out a balance and looking at reasons as to what makes me feel good/not so good, I think I dress quite youngish for my age. I like to look nice but realise a more mature, demure approach is on the horizon.

Extremely.

I care massively about keeping in good shape and looking my best. I'm 48.

Am an irredeemable slob. I try to remember to brush my hair, shave the expected areas. Only b/c others expect it and I don't like to be conspicuous.

I'd like to make more of an effort but can't be bothered to spend time on a lot of make-up. I have bad skin so I need to cover it up but that's about it - I can't be arsed with mascara and eye makeup. I get my heir coloured regularly as I don't want the grey to show. I've still got a good enough figure but tend to buy all my clothes from Next as it's easy to get it delivered and In know a size 12 will fit me.

Depends what I’m doing.
Before DC, I was very young for the position I had at work. My trade was pretty male dominated at that level (changing now ) and I have curls, good skin and a round face.
18 years later, I’m still conscious about not looking serious enough at work. I put more effort into workwear and appearance than at any other time.

Happier now than in my thirties with everything else though

As some posters can’t understand why others want to take care themselves, I can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t!

Because there are different ways to take care if yourself. Some have to do with looks,some with hobbies, some with interests, some with comfort etc.

In the looks department probably I look like I don't take care of myself. I take care of myself in other ways, like eat the nice food, hang out with people I love, have lazy days, a chill morning before work, read the books I love, do things I enjoy, wear Uggs in the winter no matter what others say because they're ridiculously comfortable and keep my feet warm on playground duty etc.

The fact that I fail any Style&Beauty standards doesn't mean I don't take care of myself, I just do it in different ways.

I'm 40, three kids. I feel I'm only just getting going after years of babies and sleep deprivation. I think I'm a fucking intelligent, strong and fit woman and I wish I'd known it in my youth. Now I have wisdom and confidence to keep that kart racing along the tracks.
Past it? Screw that!
However I'll admit part of this attitude for me, involves looking my best. Not sure why on a deep level, it shouldn't matter.
But I know I get deeply angry at women being written off just because we aren't 21 anymore and even angrier at the assumption that if we do get angry we are just jealous of younger women.
Sure young has a certain attractiveness that can't be denied but if you're talking about what attracts men, plenty still find older women sexy.
But posters are right who say men's opinion of us shouldn't define us. That's what should be freeing for older women. Other than our sons, fathers, lovers (and for some not even that) men's opinion becomes weak. And that's why they fear us...

Clothes are not too important to me, and neither is my body as long as I don’t feel huge. I always do a full face of makeup every day though and I make an effort with my hair

YourSarcasmIsDripping. Well, yes, I do all those things too, bar the Ugg boots, but I understood the thread was about how important is it how you look......

I work out 4 times a week, I colour my roots every three weeks, I always have good nails, I have Botox every three months, I have filler once a year, I had a breast reduction and lift, I have a full bikini and leg wax and get my eye brows etc threaded regularly. I blow my hair out out and curl it every couple of days and wear make up every day. It's massively expensive, but for me a priority. I'd rather spend on this than a car, interior design, or going out. My self esteem is high, but wouldn't be if I couldn't get all this stuff done. I'm in my 40s and single, and when I was married my husband never noticed. it's not for anyone but me. The funny thing is, I look like a jeans and trainers sort of mum, no one would have any idea I put so much effort into looking like I make no effort!

Not at all, I am overweight, never dye my (grey) hair, never buy new clothes (unless from charity shops), but I honestly don’t care, I have tons of self worth, high self esteem, a wide circle of friends, interesting job where I am valued & respected, lots of worthwhile hobbies & interests ... I would like to lose weight to feel a bit healthier but going to the gym, exercise & eating sensibly (& cutting down on the booze) would make life much duller).

I care, but care more about being comfortable. I'm not overweight and have good teeth (finally) after invisalign treatment and hair. I don't wear makeup anymore as I'm chronically ill. I could look better but I don't go anywhere exciting! I'm happy overall.

I rarely look in the mirror
But I have to blow dry my hair every morning otherwise it’s just flat as a pancake.
Moisturise, no make up usually, ironed clothes. Moisturised feet, pedicured. Not usually manicured, doesn’t last.

I try not to worry about looks but a few close people have asked me recentky about dying my hair as it’s going very slowly grey. ANd it did upset me a little. Like surely they see I never wear make up , my hair is home cut and I live in jeans and T-shirt’s. Why would they think I should be dying my hair?

@MadridGirl “ I blow my hair out out“

Sounds extreme!

As some posters can’t understand why others want to take care themselves, I can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t

But “preening” is not “taking care of yourself”. Taking care of yourself is eating healthily, getting enough exercise, not drinking to excess etc. The things that are essential to a healthy mind and body. You can 100% take care of yourself without feeling the need to wax and wear make up!

All power to you if that’s what you want to do. It doesn’t affect me and I think women should do whatever makes us happy. But don’t imply others don’t care about themselves because they don’t preen.

Clothes are very important, the reflect my personality/interests. (I'm a Goth with a large collection of Harry Potter, Pusheen, and band themed items with other stuff thrown in, like my Teeturtle t-shirts or my Holosexual t-shirt.)

Make-up is also important to me, but only eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipstick and highlighter, I don't bother with anything else.

Hair, skin, etc. I look after but only in the most simple way. I have rather long hair that I wash, condition, brush out and leave to dry naturally, I don't style it and I dye it once in a blue moon (I have grey hairs too). Heat goes no where near my hair and I will fight anyone who tries it. I cleanse and moisturise, but try not to mess around with my skin too much (they're not blackheads, they're sebaceous filaments and I'm not going to muck about with them.)

I don't cater my appearance towards men, but there's someone I know who's quite a bit younger than me who wants to sleep with me, despite the fact I'm overweight and hairy (I was pointing that out him to try and put him off, it didn't work.) So now I have a sort-of FWB. He seems to like me just the way I am, even after I showed him my hairy legs.

I’m the poster who was happy about being checked out today whilst wearing a nice dress and heels.

I am very amused to learn that I am ‘seeking validation from strange men’ and that I am ‘an older woman (I am 47, not 77!)...a bit sad to be past [my] physical peak’.

Not a bit of it, I assure you! I am just happy to be attractive. I don’t feel the need to pretend that I don’t care about how I look.

Not important really at all. I’ve much more important things to do than worry about how I look. I do like to look fantastic BUT only if I can do it in 10mins including shower. I have to wear clothes so I do try to but simple quality things that will look well on me. I have always been slim thankfully with zero effort so eat what I want without caring. I know my hair is too messy and my face too make-up free for my in-laws but I’m so happy I don’t really care. Would hate to waste my life trying to look like someone different.

I was surprised to walk into a bar a couple of weeks ago on a rare night out and be noticing your checked out by a few different men. It reminded me of the good old days in my 20’s when I made an effort😂

Frith haha. Blow my hair out is an Americanism I think.,, i just mean using a lot of products, a professional standard hairdryer and ghds- takes about 25 mins and looks really good.

I forgot to say I've had Invisalign too. I'd like to have a lash lift on a regular basis but am trying to add another regular expensive habit into the nix..,

shave the expected areas

Expected by whom exactly?
Why do you give these people authority over your body?

@Iamthewombat
I am very amused to learn that I am ‘seeking validation from strange men’ and that I am ‘an older woman (I am 47, not 77!)...a bit sad to be past [my] physical peak’.

Not a bit of it, I assure you! I am just happy to be attractive

Attractive to whom? Why does your happiness get influenced by this?

Crikey, you can’t let it go, can you?

Most people would be happy to be considered attractive, by women as well as men, don’t you think?

I don’t need that for confidence, by the way. I have plenty of that already.

40s. Born again single. Appearance means a lot to me. I try to dress appropriately for the situation. I tend to wear skirts more than trousers because I think they suit me better. Summer styles suit me more. But tha’s not to say I never wear winter jeans.

My mirror is in full use! But I don’t put makeup on or a bra for that matter, for a trip to the dustbin or the shop round the corner.

I’m in my 40s and I love my body. I have fat rolls and cellulitis, a few wrinkles, it’s all good. I could do with shedding a stone and a half.
I do wear really nice clothes, I have a skin care routine, I wear make up.
It is important to me to look after myself. I enjoy a good expensive perfume, facials and having my eyebrows shaped.
I do it for me though. I am in a realtionship, we live together :)