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Original poster

How would you take this message?

22 replies

Magneticred · 09/07/2019 17:22

Was messaging an old friend through fb, we had lost contact a few years ago and we had a stage where we was contemplating a relationship but it was a case of right person wrong time. He ended up moving to the other side of the country for work. We are now a couple of hundred miles apart.
A couple of weeks ago he messages saying he's been busy with work... He works nights mainly but would like to catch up properly at some point. He then mentions he's planning on coming up to visit a club we used to go to together. His words were. Going to plan to come up and visit xxxxx need a good night out. I replied with that sounds fun hope you have a good night.
Chatting to a mutual friend and mentioned he had said this she thinks he was inviting me along and I've blown him off. I think he was just making conversation but I'm not generally good at picking up subtle hints or flirting.
Would anyone else take it as an invite?
TIA for replies

OP posts:

TheMonaOgg · 09/07/2019 17:40

Yeah if I received that I'd think I was being invited out.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/07/2019 17:42

Is xxxx a place or a person?

Planning on coming to visit a very specific club in your town alone, I'd assume was a hint at catching up with you. It it might just be chat, or chat and sex, he's after.

Original poster

Magneticred · 09/07/2019 17:46

Xxxx is a club we used to go to together. He hasn't mentioned anyone else going and when weve chatted and he was going out in his hometown he mentioned then he was going with friends.

OP posts:

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Expressedways · 09/07/2019 17:46

Presuming you still live near the club he mentioned then yes, he was definitely inviting you out. Ouch at your response!
Doesn’t necessarily mean he wants anything out of it though, he could just want to catch up as friends.

chipsandgin · 09/07/2019 17:47

Is xxxxx a person or the club? If it’s a person it’s ambiguous, the name of the club & it’s suggesting a night out.

chipsandgin · 09/07/2019 17:48

(with you obviously! Also if the ‘lets catch up’ was in the same message then definitely a suggestion of meeting up & going for a night out!)

Marlena1 · 09/07/2019 17:49

You could try and salvage by saying "oh and if you're around and it suits, we can arrange a catch up" or something.

Original poster

Magneticred · 09/07/2019 17:49

Ah crap this means I'm going to have to ask outright doesn't it and then possibly apologise for my response.

If he was I'm fully expecting it to be just as friends I don't think he'd want to take things further.

OP posts:

chipsandgin · 09/07/2019 17:49

Sorry x-post - yep, an invite!

Original poster

Magneticred · 09/07/2019 17:53

Would messaging this be ok
hi (name) if your going to xxxxx soon would love to meet up for a catch up if you have time, if not maybe next time your in the area

OP posts:

Soola · 09/07/2019 17:54

I read it as a subtle hint he’d like you to be there.

ElizaPancakes · 09/07/2019 17:59

Honestly I’d just be direct and ask him if it was an invite.

Bluntness100 · 09/07/2019 17:59

Your message is fine. He might not have been inviting you to the club, but as he said he wanted to catch up, I'd think saying let me know when you're coming up, we can use the opportunity to catch up.

Original poster

Magneticred · 09/07/2019 18:18

I've sent the message it showed he had seen it straight away but he hasn't replied so he's either getting ready for work or I've made an idiot of myself.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 09/07/2019 18:31

I'd message him and say "I know you said you had plans at xxxxx on Saturday night but hoping we can catch up whilst your up / down here too. Let me know what's good for you

Bluntness100 · 09/07/2019 18:40

You've not made a fool of yourself.he suggested the catch up. It's all good.

ChangesAt30 · 09/07/2019 18:43

Anyone else see themselves getting too invested in this thread?!

Will they make plans to go out?
Will they have a cheeky snog at the end of the night?
Will they fall madly in love and live happily ever after?!

Dun dun dun

Livpool · 09/07/2019 18:56

I'd assume it was an invite. And your response would be seen to be a 'thanks but no thanks'

Original poster

Magneticred · 09/07/2019 19:19

He video called me before his shift started, he said it would be easier to talk that way. It was an invite and he wants to make arrangements of when is best for the both of us he is just waiting on his rota as he needs his days off to be consecutive and at the minute it's not. He should find out in the next 2 weeks and will let me know.
I tried to make a joke of how I don't pick up on subtle very well and he replied it would be easier for us both if I have him my number so then he could ask me in phone calls rather than a message. He had tried the number he had for me but I changed it when we lost contact. So he's got my number and says he will ring for a chat this week.

OP posts:

changeyoursheetsweekly · 09/07/2019 19:48

Woop woop! A live new dating thread!

Marlena1 · 09/07/2019 21:50

Yay!!! Whooopwhooop exciting

howdyalikemenow · 09/07/2019 22:07

Awwww that's lovely OP

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