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Original poster

Do you ever not send your child to school?

96 replies

Sonicknuckles · 09/07/2019 13:47

For example on the odd occasion if they are completely worn out/run down but not exactly poorly as such.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 09/07/2019 14:30

No. I've never done that. Never kept them off for just being tired. I think it is a dangerous precedent to set as I still go in to work when tired.

Mine always had either 100% attendance or very close to it.

Krisskrosskiss · 09/07/2019 14:31

I havent had to yet but I certainly would. Mental health is very important. If my child was in a state emotionally and just needed a quiet day alone, I would not force them into school. I really dont think its helpful in the long run to do that. I want my children to like school and feel engaged by it. So that they have a lifelong love of learning. I dont want them to feel like it's an horrific chore that they must prioritise above their own health and happiness.

TheNoodlesIncident · 09/07/2019 14:32

No, never except for illness. I try to arrange (or rearrange) dentist/optician/paediatrician appointments for outside school hours. My DS is healthy and doesn't get so exhausted that he needs to be off school, that would only happen if he were actually unwell. (He did fall asleep in the Quiet Corner in YR once, he was only four though!)

I am staggered by the parents who think school attendance is negotiable, but my view may be coloured by DS having additional provision (1:1 TA, 25 hours pw) and interventions, which a lot of parents would be delighted to have for their dc without a fight with their LA. So maybe I have a deeper appreciation for DS's education. I wouldn't have him miss any school on purely trivial grounds, especially as you never know what's around the corner in life.

Having said that, I never missed a day of work without being genuinely ill - colleagues deciding not to come in because "they don't feel motivated" just boggles my brain!

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WolfhoundsofLove · 09/07/2019 14:33

Yes, I did when mine were young, whenever they needed it. Hasn’t affected them in later life, both have excellent work ethics. They also both know the importance of self-care.

EastCoastDamsel · 09/07/2019 14:33

Yes. Although DS (9) always gets a high temp and is unwell for a couple of days when he is over done so it is quite easy to guage. Often nothing else wrong with him and he could probably struggle through a day at school but I don't see the point. He won't really learn anything effectively and would be better off recovering at home.
I do WFH so don't have huge childcare issues but
I have learnt from forcing him to go in (when I had an office job - dosed up on Calpol) and it escalating to tonsillitis on more than one occasion. Now, at the first sign of a fever and listlessness he stays home for 24-48hrs and is right as rain thereafter.

School makes him catch up any missed work.

MonstranceClock · 09/07/2019 14:34

@MaryH90 no I'm not worried about it. She's only at school because legally she has to be in this country. I don't agree with the English schooling system but I am unable to move until next year.

crosser62 · 09/07/2019 14:36

Oh absolutely not no, it wouldn’t even be a consideration tbh.

I am not creating or encouraging snowflakes no!
They will be entering the world of employment at some stage, you can’t just have a day off because you are tired ffs!

I’m not teaching my kids to be thinking that it’s ok to just drop responsibilities because they are tired.

Surely it’s about teaching them resilience and a strong work ethic and how to be responsible and reliable?

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 09/07/2019 14:36

I’ve not had to do it yet but I’d have no problem letting mine have a day off it exhausted/ run down.
Now I have a child who absolutely loves school and cries if she’s sick and I don’t send her in, so if she was really tired etc and asked to stay home I’d have no problem.
And there would be screens of course to relax. Also I’m a teacher Wink

Pieceofpurplesky · 09/07/2019 14:36

DS has MH problems and I have kept him off when I know he is about to break. A day of sleep, movies and TLC along with lots of chats seems to rebalance him.

Livedandlearned · 09/07/2019 14:45

Yes. I have a few times over the last two years with my dd who is 14 and struggles with a few aspects of school and her relationship with her dad. Her mental health is more important than a day of school.

My dc have always had 100% attendance. This year has been the first time I have recognised the need to have a day where they do absolutely nothing and just recuperate.

The school is totally aware of our situation and are supportive.

JacquesHammer · 09/07/2019 14:47

Yes absolutely I would.

Livedandlearned · 09/07/2019 14:47

Should also mention that her school reports are amazing and every parent's evening has been full of praise for her. She tries very hard in every subject but she just needs a day off occasionally.

DonkeyHohtay · 09/07/2019 14:49

Mine never stay off unless they are ill. Properly I'll, not just a sniffle or them saying they have a sore stomach or something.

Who wants their child to grow up as a malingerer

Paigexx · 09/07/2019 14:50

When my daughter starts school if she needs a break and I can see she needs a little break yeah I will give her a day off here and there. Kids are kids but they have feelings to and get tired too. Wouldn’t let her take the piss tho having days off willy nilly🙄

mbosnz · 09/07/2019 14:50

I value my kid's mental health over their attendance percentage.

Equally, we highly value and respect education in this family, and it is a critical consideration in everything we do.

But there is no point in sending a child to school who is in no fit state to constructively participate. Whether that is because of physical health considerations, or mental health considerations. To me, that's not raising 'snowflakes'. It's accepting and acknowledging mental health considerations are as important as physical health considerations.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 09/07/2019 14:51

Very occasionally when so exhausted that she was actually tearful. I do think it’s possible to be exhaustive to the point of feelings physically unwell. Doing 4 essay-based A levels was hugely demanding and on a couple of occasions I let her have an early night, a good sleep in and then catch up on her homework before tackling the next day recharged. It seemed to help and I think if DD2 reaches that point of exhaustion when she’s older, I would do the same again.
I don’t think they ever got overwhelmed by tiredness when primary school age.

Scrumptiousbears · 09/07/2019 14:52

No.

My DC are either well or unwell enough to attend school. If you let them off for been tried they will soon learn to fake this to not go in.

Would you not go into work if you were tired?

mbosnz · 09/07/2019 14:58

If you let them off for been tried they will soon learn to fake this to not go in.

But they like school! And I can read them like a sodding book. (Also, it's a no junk food, no screens day in bed. . . hardly scintillating. . . Smile)

Krisskrosskiss · 09/07/2019 15:01

I dont think they will fake it? My son knows I'd never make him go to school if he asked not to.. because when hes mentioned he doesnt want to go to school I've always said 'well you dont have to if you dont want to' ... and not once has he actually chosen to stay home. They only time hes been off sick was when he had a vomiting bug and had to be off.

Krisskrosskiss · 09/07/2019 15:05

I mean to want to stay at home all day instead of seeing all their friends?? There would actually have to be a genuine reason imo for them to want to do that... I'd say they must genuinely be stressed or anxious or exhausted... its not natural for a child to want to stay in all day being bored with their mum or dad doing housework unless theres actually a reason they dont want to be at school... it's not a treat to stay home.. or it shouldnt be anyway! And I think if a child is constantly asking to stay off school the reasons why need to be properly looked into because it might be bullying or mental health issues... I dont think any children are 'just lazy and trying it on'

cookingonwine · 09/07/2019 15:08

Yes ... we are allowed off days ... children are allowed off days too!

Sirzy · 09/07/2019 15:08

This is surely about knowing your own child? Ok some keep them off at a drop of a hat but most parents care about education and will do what is needed to protect that - sometimes one day to recover and rest is what is needed so they can focus properly

mbosnz · 09/07/2019 15:16

I must admit, I used to very much be one of the 'no, never, nah uh' brigade. Pride goeth. . .

Having said that, the girls have mates who must have 50-60% attendance if they're lucky. If they're anxious, if they are late, if they've just broken up with their boyfriend, definitely on sports day, most PE days. . . that just makes me so sad. It's got to make it hard for them to thrive academically.

Chovihano · 09/07/2019 15:17

I used to years ago, but they have started fining now.
I let mine stay off for 4 years once and flexi schooled the others, they had very full diaries and had to travel a lot So, they gained a far more suitable education at home.
I wouldn't touch a state school with a barge pole now, and since boarding dc hasn't had a day off in 4 years.

PostNotInHaste · 09/07/2019 15:18

I’m giving DS the option of not going to last sports day if he doesn’t want to . He’s worked hard for mocks and a day on the field with hayfever is going to make him feel shit as late and bad this year. Up to him if he takes it and haven’t done that before.