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Original poster

Relationship with boss

70 replies

user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 12:44

Hi all, I posted a while ago about relationship with boss, I was unclear if there was something going on between us or if I was reading too much into things.

Over the weekend he txt me with a funny pic, he was abroad, I was out having few drinks, the conversation flowed by txt until 4am. Still nothing major in the txt, however not entirely 'work relationship'.

He came up to me Monday, we were both pretty sheepish, neither acknowledged the exchange, however there is huge tension, glances etc.

I dont know what to do, I love this job, we still manage our day to day professionally however this tension is always there between us. Is this something to live with that will eventually go away?

Any advice welcome?

OP posts:
TieFrontDress · 09/07/2019 13:02

Steer well clear, because it will be you who suffers.

amusedbush · 09/07/2019 13:03

Don't shit where you eat.

Do nothing.

MrsBertBibby · 09/07/2019 13:05

Don't touch it with a bargepole.

I did. Predictable shitstorm. For me, obvs. Not him.

Redcliff · 09/07/2019 13:05

Are you both single?

Apileofballyhoo · 09/07/2019 13:07

How easy would it be to get a new job?

Rosemary46 · 09/07/2019 13:07

Don’t do it.

Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:09

MrsBertBibby did you start a relationship?

I dont want to do anything, it's the tension that is so difficult

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:09

I'm married, couldn't say happily, but I'm married. He is single

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:10

Not easy to get new job, plus this one has massive benefits

OP posts:
TieFrontDress · 09/07/2019 13:17

You have everything to lose and nothing to gain from this OP.

Ginger1982 · 09/07/2019 13:29

You need to have no contact other than in work time and in relation to work matters.

If your marriage is unhappy, that's a separate issue.

JacquesHammer · 09/07/2019 13:34

I'm married, couldn't say happily, but I'm married

Then there's your answer.

Sort your marriage, whether by working on it or separating that's a completely separate issue.

Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:34

Ginger1982 I agree.

So give it time it will pass?

OP posts:
ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 09/07/2019 13:37

You are married, so why are you even contemplating this?

I am not surprised you arent in a happy marriage if you are lusting after you boss and staying up all night texting him.

Sort your marriage. End it or work on it.

Shagging your boss is a terrible idea. Having an affair with your boss is just plain stupid.

Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:41

When did I say I was lusting after him?? I'm asking how to deal with it?

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:41

Marriage issues long before this

OP posts:
ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 09/07/2019 13:44

So you arent lusting after him. So why are you staying up until 4am texting him?

Yeah loads of people seem to realise their marriage has had loads of problems for years, when a OM/OW is in the horizon. Up until that point, though they never made a move to get out of the unhappy marriage.

JacquesHammer · 09/07/2019 13:44

I'm asking how to deal with it?

Stop messaging him....

cheesychipsandbighips · 09/07/2019 13:47

It's not doomed because he's your boss. It's doomed because you're married.

My long dp wasn't my direct boss but was and still is a manager in my place of work. Really hasn't made one jot of difference in our work or personal lives. But then I don't work directly for him. In your case it could be very awkward if it goes wrong.

Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 13:59

Problems were definitely there, they have not been prompted by this. It isn't just as simple as leaving a marraige. I have no intention of doing anything. I wont deny the feeling and attention has been nice after feeling neglected.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 14:01

Boss has looked after me since I started but also really challenged me. I dont believe he wants this either

OP posts:
babysharkah · 09/07/2019 14:07

You are set up to lose everything. He won't.

ProteinshakesandAntonsAss · 09/07/2019 14:13

Neither of you want thos, but stay up till 4am texting?

You are either lying to yourself or delusional.

Concentrate on sorting your marriage
Either leave or resolve to actually work on it.

I know exactly how hard it is to leave a marriage. I have done it. It's not impossible. Something is keeping you there. Dont say its kids, because kids know when it's not happy.

If you dh finds out you have been flirting with the boss till 4am, he will believe you are having an affair. Most people would.

You could end up with him divorcing you and telling everyone you were shagging or trying to shag your boss. How would you feel with your family being told that?

Janus · 09/07/2019 14:19

I would stop all contact outside work, also do not go on any ‘after work drinks’ type evenings as that is dangerous. With enough time this will go away or one of you will move on.

Original poster
user1471514421 · 09/07/2019 14:24

We were both out, partying, him abroad.

How do you come to a decision about a marriage? I'm only 30

OP posts:
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