Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Partner won't pay his way.. with ANYTHING!

60 replies

Cookie123456789 · 05/07/2019 12:03

I've been with my partner 4 years this year, we had our DS1 last year and we both love him so much but at the minute we clearly resent each other which isn't good for DS. We moved into a flat together while I was pregnant and moved eventually to a flat closer to family as we were to far away. When we moved into 2nd flat, he started missing his monthly share to the bills etc. All the Bill's and rent come out of my bank and are all in my name, eventually after 6 months of him not paying his way I decided to move into my moms with my little boy until partner got back on his feet again. Since then I have returned to work from maternity leave and gone part time cause childcare isn't an option financially. We both decided that we were ready to move back in together and that we would work things out.

We have now been in the house 6 months and he has only paid £600 all together over the whole 6 months. The rough monthly running cost is £1200 I only earn £1300 a month, he also doesn't pay for anything for our son and whenever I confront him about it he'll blow up and call me a selfish bitch..

Someone please give me some adviseConfused

OP posts:
IsolaPribby · 05/07/2019 12:05

Does he work? What does he say when you ask him why?

Bostyrone · 05/07/2019 12:06

Why doesn’t he think he should have to pay?

itslateandiminmypyjamas · 05/07/2019 12:06

Move out or kick him out and don't ever get into a relationship with the cocklodger again. Lodge a claim for child support.
Who's name is the house in?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

FabulouslyFab · 05/07/2019 12:06

He’s not really your partner then is he?
Walk away - there is a better life out there for you and there will be someone who loves you like you deserve to be x

IsolaPribby · 05/07/2019 12:07

Sorry just seen the bit where he calls you a selfish bitch.

My advice would be to tell him to sod off.

RB68 · 05/07/2019 12:08

he is spending his money on something else - gambling, drugs or sex. Get out and CSA

Passthecherrycoke · 05/07/2019 12:08

Oh OP you poor thing. How awful. It doesn’t sound like he’s going to change

CruellaFeinberg · 05/07/2019 12:10

Simple - go back to your mums if you cannot afford the rent on your own

Ninkaninus · 05/07/2019 12:10

Sorry but what kind of advice do you want? He obviously isn’t interested in being in a partnership with you. He’s a cocklodger, a deadbeat, and calls you a selfish bitch when you ask him to contribute. Why the fuck are you still living with him??

Passthecherrycoke · 05/07/2019 12:12

But simplistic there @Ninkaninus. If the OP was simply going to split up with him she obviously wouldn’t be asking. She’s had a baby, a hard time and probably just wants some support and advice

Damntheman · 05/07/2019 12:14

I'm sorry OP, he's no partner to you and you and your DC deserve so much better. Leave him and move back in with your mum. Put in a claim for maintenance asap.

Bananalanacake · 05/07/2019 12:20

is he working. is his pay good. either way he should give you half each month.

Dvg · 05/07/2019 12:21

:S how is he not embarrassed that he is sponging off of his partner and mother to his child

Ninkaninus · 05/07/2019 12:22

I’m sorry OP. I really didn’t mean that to sound harsh!

Here’s my advice:

I would tell him to leave. This is not a partnership, he is not a good partner, nor a good father.

I would not want to support an entitled ass like that and I absolutely would not accept him calling me a bitch for expecting him to pull his weight.

You will be better off on your own without his dead weight to look after on top of caring for your child.

Happyspud · 05/07/2019 12:24

He blows up and calls you a selfish bitch......how is that not your thread.

LTB. LTB. LTB. He’s a shit.

Passthecherrycoke · 05/07/2019 12:28

In terms of leaving what about practical advice? I’m afraid I don’t have any OP as I’ve not done it but how does she get him out, or how does she leave when her name is on all bills?

Soola · 05/07/2019 12:29

He is a worthless lump who contributes nothing to you and your child’s lives.

Why have him as an albatross hanging around your neck?

Cut him loose before he drags you even further down and let him go and ruin someone else’s life.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 05/07/2019 12:29

WTH? You pay all the bills and he calls you a selfish bitch when you ask him to contribute? Does he work? What exactly do you get from this relationship? Can you go back to your mum's?

Ninkaninus · 05/07/2019 12:32

You’re paying all the bills anyway so you won’t lose out by him not being there. Are you both on the lease or is it just in your name?

1300cakes · 05/07/2019 12:36

how does she get him out

Start by just asking him, it sounds like he doesn't want this relationship so he would probably be happy to be let off the hook.

NoSquirrels · 05/07/2019 12:40

My advice to you is to leave him - kick him out - and apply for child support via CMS and tax credits as a single parent.

MrsJonesAndMe · 05/07/2019 12:41

Oh my goodness, just end it already! He can love your son but that doesn't put a roof over his head or food in his mouth!

You and your son deserve so much more.

sue51 · 05/07/2019 12:45

He's a leech not a partner. How dare he call you names after sponging off you. Time for you to consider what's in you and your childs best interest. If he doesn't step up that would be separation and cms.

Lordamighty · 05/07/2019 12:51

Give notice on the flat & go back to your mum. Tell him you can’t afford to subsidise him any longer & then put in a claim for child maintenance. Don’t waste any more time & money on him. You can still co parent your DS.
If you carry on as you are any love you had for him will die anyway, these cocklodgers never change.

hidinginthenightgarden · 05/07/2019 12:53

Ask him to leave. Apply for cms. You should end up with more spare cash than you have now anyway!