Oh. My. GOD!

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Today! I just need to weep vent.

I was woken at 6am by 1 child lying on my head telling me that she was "my new, magical pillow" and that her magic powers were "flying and having an argument". She proceeded to have an argument. With herself. On top of my head

One child enthusiastically pulled his sister's hair all the way around Sainsbury's.

After lunch, I tried to take the littlest for a nap walk in the buggy. Except, there was a brass band playing in the field where we normally walk. It struck up right on cue as we turned into the field. I have never seen a brass band there in the ten years we've lived here. Just why?

Then my 4yo decided to stand in the garden and shout MY DADDY LIKES FOUR YEAR OLD GIRLS at the top of her voice. Thanks DD

At dinner, the toddlers enjoyed their chicken and ham pie so much they both moisturised their entire torsos with it. Their bathwater was actually cloudy with spinach floating in it.

We got them all to bed and then a little voice called down "what letter does poo begin with? Is it a puh puh?"
Me: Er yes. Have you had a poo?
Child: Yep! And I wiped my own bottom but some fell off and then I stepped in it by accident and now it's on my carpet a bit.

The scene that followed was like a dirty protest in a prison.

I am now sitting downstairs with a glass of something strong and contemplating the state that is the kitchen....

Sounds like a normal day in toddlerland to me 😂

Your thread is awesome. 😂😂

Although I loved your post, it’s now triggered some sort of post-traumatic reaction in me

ha ha , poor bastard dh
enjoy your work

Hi Dangly! Are you lot in OTBT now?

I've had days like that. It starts off bad and just keeps rolling. Usually I just resign myself to it, fighting it makes me cross and frustrated.

Tomorrow is another, full of hope and promise...

mouldy did you rtft?

Johnny enjoy your well-earned break day at work tomorrow. Solidarity and thanks for the larfs ✊

I remember the chaos ds wrought all by himself. Dd was a rule based child on account of her autism so a free form toddler was a shock to both of us. DH would come home to me and her rocking in a corner having kept ds alive through taking plug sockets apart, going for a solo walk and back flipping off any raised surface.

I read this thread as I was waiting for one of my adult dc at Heathrow, 3 of my dc have been living and working abroad for a while now, but all will be ‘back in the nest’ soon for the summer.
So what I want to say is, promise me you will print this thread and place it in an envelope in your bedside drawer, and I promise you, with all my heart in 20 years time, when you re- read it you will feel a surge of love like nothing you have have ever experienced and be transported back to these days of hard work, but also joy, and snot and poo, and cuddles and crazy, crazy love.

If they ate any of the pie, you're doing better than me today. My kid will just NOT. EAT.

I once trod in dd's poo. rolled down her trouser leg unnoticed.

Keep a copy of this post.

In 20 years time you will look back and wish you could have it all over again

Wow Usingmyindoorvoice. I posted my comment before I read yours.
So true.

DementedMa - nope it NEVER stops does it...the 'problem'/issues/requirements just get more 'serious'/bigger/pricier/different-sort-of-stressier

To the poster who said kids are fun, how true.

We need to have a whinge about them every so often but they can be hilarious. My DH called last night because he is away for work and DS7 said sorry dad but mums gone to India!!
I live in Australia and I’ve never even thought about going to India.

Enjoy your strong liquor and smile at your day 🍸🍸🥃🥃

This sounds cute as well as tiring 😀

My toddler had a meltdown as the imaginary cakes had ran out in the imaginary bakery.. apparently there were no more ingredients left to make more

And as well as secretly smiling at my toddler grandaughters antics and my exasperated son, I find my self saying to my step daughters " its normal" regarding anything to do with behaviour of their lovely little ones. I can say it in such a calm reassuring voice too!
I enjoy my grandchildren so much, totally differently than the constant worry of 24 hour care of my own babies toddlers and children.

@lookimahooman guessing they didn't rtft, just started the namecalling for no reason.

As for tomorrow..... tomorrow I am going to work. DH, poor bastard, is SAHD.
🤣😂🤣

Johnny yes we are! We are filling up threads faster in OTBT for some reason. I think a new one is imminent soon.

I hope nobody was lay on your head this morning and you got to work in peace!

Hilarious OP 😊

Your DC sound fabulous OP. Got to love a new magical pillow. Everyone should have one of those 😀.

Storynanny “It’s normal” and “you did much worse” seems to be things I’m sayIng more and more to DD regarding my DGC.

I was woken by nearly 4 year old DGD at 5.45am telling me she was going to do a wee. She came back in to tell me she had done a wee. Then told me she was allowed to get up when her clock was on yellow. I asked if it was yellow and was told “No, I’m just going back to bed”. By this time I was totally unable to go back to sleep. Argggghhhh. Think I’d have preferred a magical pillow actually.