Calling upon the kindest of strangers

[LauraAshleySofa]

Today, not for the first time, I benefited from the kindness of a complete stranger. After a long walk DS(9) admitted he hadn't taken his antihistamine. By the time we stopped at a pub for lunch he was crying. A total stranger overheard him complaining and offered him an antihistamine. Problem solved in an instant with much gratitude on my side.

I am one of life's takers as this type of thing happens to me lots. But I can never seem to find the moment to 'pay it forward'.

If you are a kind person who seems to be one of life's givers how are you doing this?

Do you carry medical supplies/ tissues/ food/drinks everywhere just in case? How do you know when someone needs something and how do you stop people refusing your kind deeds?

Please let me know your acts of kindness and how you made them happen so I can spread some kindness too.

Btw I have obviously learned my own lesson today about keeping a stash of antihistamine available at all times!

@yesqueen you have banked enough good karma for a lottery win! Buy a ticket!

My friend and I were on the bus having missed several as they were full. Unbeknownst to us we'd got on the only bus from that stop that didn't go our way. I was just visiting and she was clueless. A lady overheard our conversation and gave us very precise instructions as to what to do to get back to her house via buses. She was spot on and we got home albeit ridiculously late.

I now try and help people out who are having conversations about how they're lost. Fortunately I'm a nosey parker so it doesn't require a huge amount of effort!

@LauraAshleySofa
You have done an act of kindness by starting this thread encouraging people to remember good things they have either done or have had done for them.

In contrast to the other thread concentrating on rudeness.

We all have experience of both and it is true there are rude people around but
If we are expecting 'rude' and someone does something nice then we may not see it or see them as interfering - or even refuse their kindness 'because they must be expecting something in return.

We also hear of people being polite and then, because the other person didn't respond as expected, or something not good happened afterwards or as a result, 'That's it, I'm not being nice again'.

We do what we do because of who we are - not because of what we will or won't get in return. Threads like this remind us that many of us do the nice thing when we can - and often those that don't are just scared of interfering or a negative response. Threads like this remind us that most of us are inherently good.

@EnchentButteler gosh that lady sounds very knowledgeable about buses I wouldn't have a clue.

@hecateh I haven't seen the other thread about rudeness, maybe I should read it then I will feel better about my own scant efforts at kindness! Definitely picked up some good ideas from here though to put into practice. I am reluctant to interfere and I don't listen in on other people's conversation so some tips won't work for me but I can certainly buy multipacks for sharing, carry plasters and medical supplies, and listen to people who need to be heard.

@ Yes Queen.
Trust me all goods deeds are rewarded eventually. I always used to help people with suitcases on buses and trains and always helped mothers will pushchairs up and down stairs.Now, I am disabled and very grateful to all those people who lift my suitcase on and off public transport.
Never be frightened or embaressed to ask if someone needs a hand- only takes a second but can really enhance someones day

As a FTM to a PFB who I had waited a long long time for I was very very over prepared - whenever we went out when he was a baby. It meant that whenever I was at a playgroup I could offer a child some of our extra fruit or rice cakes or crisps but it hit home for me when DS was teething I happened to carry some travel calpol with me "just in case" went to the local arboretum and a child of around 5 came flying down the hill on his bike dad chasing him unable to stop him - poor child went flying off straight into steps. Unbelievably given the number of parents in the park and no less than two sets of walking police no one went to assist. My DH and I went over gave the child the calpol we had with permission and some chocolate biscuits to take the fright away then brought the dad a cuppa as he was so upset and shaking by the incident. I now carry a travel first aid pack with me so yes I'd say be prepared.

Equally I used to do a lot of traveling and inevitably I'd end up lost I was so grateful to those who seemed to know I was lost and offered their assistance- whenever I see anyone now with a map or looking lost I make a point of asking if I can help - I am a firm believer in it's nice to be nice and pay it forward

Normally when I'm mobile I have one of those handbags with everything in it, so I often have wipes, headache tablets, sweets and small toys, great to distract grumpy toddlers including my own which I'm happy to share.

I have also paid for someone's coffee.

In reverse we have become good friends with one of dd1s school friends Mum's all thanks to her kindly stepping in several years ago when Dh took a terrible case of chicken pox 2 weeks after dd1. I had a newborn at that stage and Dh really ill and no way would dd1 have got to school without her, we barely knew her. She's now one of my best friends and might be the reason several bottles of wine mysteriously disappeared last night, I cannot imagine where.

I had someone pay for my parking at the hospital when the card machine didn’t work.

I also had a car stop and the lady offer me tissues when my daughter walked into a bin and bust her nose!

I try to be nice when I can: only little things like when a woman was trying to buy 2x paracetamol and 2x ibuprofen for her post op mum (definitely allowed legally, cashier wouldn't let her) I just have her the ones I was buying. Only tiny bit she nearly cried.

And I've experienced so many people being kind to me. I had had a truly truly awful weekend where one relative had attempted to kill another and I was in my way home. I had been going okay until I left because I had had to be strong as everyone else was going to pieces. But on the way home I just ended up in hysterics. A nice man persuaded me to get off the train and breathe some fresh air while it was at a station, and when I arrived home a homeless man saw me, I wasn't crying at this point, and just asked if I was okay. I burst into tears, and he offered to get me a coffee. I said I was meeting a friend who was picking me up and he gave me a massive hug and insisted on walking me to her. I will never forget his kindness.

I was waiting at fog bound airport for teenage dd to fly in.
A young man with a very large rucksack was at the information desk asking where he could pitch his tent after a horrendous journey and having no luck at all.
I tapped him on his shoulder and told him we would have a bed for him and he could wait 10 mins for my DH who was driving home from work to pick him up.( so he knew I wasn’t a mad middle aged lady trying to kidnap him)
He was on a walking holiday and stayed 2 nights to recover then went off walking .
DD eventually landed on final attempt before the plane had to divert to another airport .

I once removed a dead bird from a car grille. It was a family of mum, gran and two children. They couldn't deal with it. I am quite squeamish myself but managed. They were very pleased!

What a lovely thread.

I try to be kind to strangers but sometimes lack confidence to step in with help unless someone asks me.

As for kindnesses shown to me...

Something terrible had just happened to me earlier that day and I was traumatised, I was driving and was at a petrol station filling up my car. I probably looked like I was about to cry while paying for my petrol. The woman who took the payment followed me outside and said "are you OK". I started to cry and she held me for a minute while I sobbed. She cried too. I will never forget that woman and her kindness.

I remember another time I broke down on the motorway and had no cell phone signal. I could see a house off the motorway so I crawled through some shrubs and headed for it, knocked on the door and the woman let me use her phone and gave me dinner while I waited for the break down people. We had a nice chat and she was so lovely.

"You have done an act of kindness by starting this thread encouraging people to remember good things they have either done or have had done for them. In contrast to the other thread concentrating on rudeness."

@Hecateh - I think this is a lovely thread too and I've enjoyed reading all the responses. I started the thread on rude people. I had some horrible experiences with street harassment in a short space of time, I was starting to think I was attracting it, and it was actually really therapeutic to hear that everyone has these experiences occasionally. I needed to hear that. I wasn't trying to bring anyone down so hope that it doesn't come across that way.

Threads like this remind me about the time I was out with my toddler son and an elderly gentleman offered to buy him a round lolly on a stick. He hadn't had any sweets and certainly not one of those so I said no thank you. Iirc I posted on here about it and got completely ripped to shreds. It was 15-16 years ago and I still feel bad I didn't accept and possibly make the man happy.

One night I ran away from my new job. No idea where I was or what to do. It was midnight and I knocked kin the door of a house with a light on to ask for directions to the station. A man answered and then shut the door in my face. I made it on to a train where I asked a lady for help. She gave me about £8 for a train ticket and refused to give me her details so I could pay her back. I think it was Croydon, definitely London and approximately 1990/1 so if it was you, thank you and I'll still pay you back .

I mean .

@caz114 likewise, maybe if more people asked for help then those of us who, like me, are less socially aware will get the chance to help.

@mommybear1 it is so lucky you were there for the boy after he fell off his bike. I am noticing that people seem to remember kind acts for years, I know I do, that boy and his family will still remember you.

@loyaultemilie I have also walked neighbourhood children to school so I am counting that as a win.

@feeona123 I think hospital car parking charges are the meanest things. It's exploiting people when they are sick and exploiting their kind friends and relatives who visit them.

@Nacreous I am in awe, you could easily have dismissed the homeless man in your distressed state, but you didn't, you allowed him to help you and in doing so gave him back some self esteem. A kindness that works both ways.

What a lovely thread. Years ago I gave some students £10 at the petrol station to get home as they’d run out of money and petrol. It wouldn’t happen today they’d likely have cards

My DH lost his wallet on a fairground ride. Half an hour later we were driving home and he got a call as his business card was in his wallet. The kind finder drove to meet us to return it.

DD had had her 1 year jabs the day before. She was grumpy and miserable but I HAD to go food shopping. I was struggling to focus on what I needed to buy and entertain her at the same time.

Two women saw me, and took over entertaining DD whilst I walked around the shop...

It still makes me well up now. I was a single parent to 3 at the time, baby never slept more than 1-2 hours at a time for almost 18 months due to CMPA and reflux, I had zero support.

And then two total strangers spent half an hour of their day playing with DD so I could get my food shop done.

When I was a teenager I went on a summer school in London hundreds of miles from home and had all my money stolen on my second day. A woman overheard and gave me £30 to get me through the fortnight. I have always remembered her kindness and her name. When I got home I paid her back and even got a lovely card saying she never expected to hear from me again. I think she probably prompted it, but I give to strangers as often as I can,. and my bag is always full of tissues, wipes, basic medication, mints etc. Mainly because I use them but always happy to share them with a stranger if needed.

@Trumpton I think offering out your home as an impromptu airbnb really goes above and beyond the call of kindness. That is on another level entirely.

@Samanthajayne4 that sounds pretty grim well done!

@Carla 1983 it is lovely to read these stories. It's definitely been a heart warming thread.

@Maryqueenofscots83 I need to read your thread to restore some balance in my life. I might not be the most well prepared and naturally kind person but I am not intentionally rude to people either. I am in the middle somewhere.

@sunshinecake in my experience most people do refuse my offers of help, this does make me less inclined to step in but I think there is a pleasure to be taken in just offering even if it is refused. I think most people do want to help others given an opportunity and that man at the door probably had his reasons for not helping even though we will never know what they were.

I'm sure I've told this tale before but one year DCs and I were booked to go camping. My not so D partner had walked out on us the week before. We drove 3+ hours to the campsite and I really, really couldn't get the tent up. After struggling for what felt like hours and beginning to panic a fellow camper came up to me, put her hand on my shoulder and said 'don't worry we'll sort it'. I'm afraid I cried.

I think it does come back to you via a long route normally, but sometimes it is quicker.

My car had a problem so I was getting a taxi, there was a petrol strike on but I knew a garage that had fuel so told the driver.

I went to get a cab home and it was the same driver, he now had a full tank of petrol so didn't charge me for the return journey.

I try to complement people, if I see someone in a nice dress I will tell them it looks good.

Sometimes you have no idea how much words can harm but also heel and be positive.

I was in another taxi a couple of years ago, we were chatting about the heat and he was telling me he'd been to Saudi with his family, I put two and two together and when I was paying I said, "I suppose I should say thank you Haji", he actually held my hand as he took the money and said it meant a lot to him, particularly when it was someone who was not muslim. I thought he was about to cry.

I've given lifts to strangers a couple of times, one was a teenage boy, I'll admit I had a look at his shopping trolly, he'd asked to borrow my phone because his cab had not turned up.

Another time it was a young mum with three children, she had obviously shared the shopping out to carry it home, her youngest had cornflakes which are not heavy but he was so small he was holding the bag up to his nose.

My dad got a train and then a cab to a wedding, once he got to the wedding he realised he had left his wallet behind, 1/2 an hour later the driver turned up at the wedding venue with the wallet.

Recently I was on my way to work on a very busy train, and there was a couple beside me struggling with their crying toddler. The little girl was stressing out with all the people around, just as my daughter did not so long ago. I remembered the feeling of anxiousness when I couldn’t do anything to settle my own baby. I took out my keys and entertained the little girl for a few stops. She was delighted with the distraction and I think it gave her parents some relief. I was almost in tears afterwards as I know exactly how hard that situation is. A little help from a stranger can make someone’s day that bit more bearable.

I often give kindness. BUT a few weeks ago I got on my regular bus where all the drivers and most passengers know me; it is a semi-rural route. I have a free bus pass as I am registered blind.

The woman in front of me tried to pay contactless; this route isn't set up for it. Her fare was £4.80 and she had only £1.20 in cash. I opened my wallet to give her £3.60 and the cheeky sod said "don't worry about the right change you've got a fiver". She reached over and took the fiver. I was expecting to receive my change but got nothing!!! I asked for my change but she sort of chuckled said something on the lines of don't worry, you've helped a stressed mother get a coffee. I was so upset after as I hate stressful situations when I am out because I have only just learnt to go on the bus to the town and was my 2nd solo journey. Bitch 😱