Calling upon the kindest of strangers

[LauraAshleySofa]

Today, not for the first time, I benefited from the kindness of a complete stranger. After a long walk DS(9) admitted he hadn't taken his antihistamine. By the time we stopped at a pub for lunch he was crying. A total stranger overheard him complaining and offered him an antihistamine. Problem solved in an instant with much gratitude on my side.

I am one of life's takers as this type of thing happens to me lots. But I can never seem to find the moment to 'pay it forward'.

If you are a kind person who seems to be one of life's givers how are you doing this?

Do you carry medical supplies/ tissues/ food/drinks everywhere just in case? How do you know when someone needs something and how do you stop people refusing your kind deeds?

Please let me know your acts of kindness and how you made them happen so I can spread some kindness too.

Btw I have obviously learned my own lesson today about keeping a stash of antihistamine available at all times!

I always try to help - it never hurts to be kind. I've helped mums juggling toddlers onto public transport, I run a lunchclub for local older adults, I give lifts ... once upon a time people gave me lifts and helped me onto buses, a lady spent most of a transatlantic flight reading with dd, I've not forgotten (and our fellow passengers learnt every word of Winnie the Pooh!)

If I’m in the fitting rooms trying things on and notice somebody trying something on that looks genuinely great I tell them. Compliments cost nothing and it’s such a nice feeling to know someone else thinks you look nice.

I was in Paris on holiday once, and I accidentally left my camera in a cafe.

After about ten minutes we realised and I went back, only to be met half-way by a man running along with it, and looking all around, trying to find me to give it back. His wife had told him what I was wearing, and he'd come looking for me.

This thread is lovely.

@Annelovesgilbert I do get asked for directions a lot so maybe that can be my thing.

@listsandbudgets that was so kind to give £10, I bet that girls still remembers you.

@whatthefox I am going to take a leaf out of your book and be more prepared from now on.

Practicing empathy, (comes naturally to some people but I've notice some could do with working at it more), and being aware of others around you at all times. Then you see situations where you can help out a bit as soon as they occur. I think it's something some people have just always done and becomes effortless.

Also be sure you're offering help purely to help and not out of judgement or to look good. Often help goes unnoticed and that's okay.

Sometimes you might get a surprised look if someone isn't used to it or feeling particularly grumpy. I live in a tourist hotspot area in the North. We're all very friendly and will chat to strangers and go out of our way to make people comfortable and to help. Tourists from a less friendly areas London are occasionally taken back by it. You offer help casually and cheerfully and never force it.

Just be kind basically.

@pattedplont I do talk to people so maybe I am doing something right, the other day I met a man on my dog walk who told me all his woes. I felt bad that I couldn't do anything about them but maybe it helped that I listened to him.

@diecryhate Westwood Ho! Mum sounds awesome, wouldn't it be great if another random mum had given her free ice cream that day and the whole kindness thing just went around in circles.

I was on a train coming back from a meeting, I was tired and had more work to do. The train stopped at a station a few stops before mine and we all got out - impromptu timetable change. An elderly lady sitting next to me was distressed, she was on her way to meet a friend and then they were off to a funeral. Her stop was a bit further up the line. We got a taxi together to my stop, then I drove her on to meet her friend. It ended up taking up most of the afternoon but I couldn’t just leave her stranded or with a huge taxi bill for her whole journey.

^ That "you" is a generic one Laura. Not suggesting you'd be judging etc. You're obviously very nice! I was just brain dumping!

Kindness is about caring for other people, not so much about giving things. Sometimes the most precious of gifts from a stranger is a genuine smile.

An old man in town gave me £5 for my newborn baby to start her a savings account
Someone handed in my handbag when I left it on a night bus, complete with £80 cash and my phone!
I always try to help if I can, I once took a drunk lost student back to her halls very late at night on my way home from work, she'd lost her purse and phone so she couldn't call anyone.

Thought of another one a man was at the bus stop and swaying about so I said to him you ok? He said yes I turned around and he fell backwards and caved his head in was awful I don't want to go into details but what came out etc I thought he died. I rang 999 and stayed with him but I felt a fool as I was so scared I wouldn't hold his hand incase he died really annoys me sometimes I didn't put the man first and not my fear, but I like to think god forbid if my granddad had a fall someone would stay with him too and try and get help, weirdly enough he walked past me a few months ago and seemed fine I wanted to say hi and ask how he's doing but I didn't

I gave a lady some sting cream today when her ds was stung by a wasp in the park. I have been carrying it in my bag since last summer ‘just incase’ but never had cause to use it. I was so pleased to have been able to help.

I also once physically bumped into a crying lady on a petrol station forecourt .
It turned out that her phone had run out of battery and she was horribly lost without the satnav. She had stopped hoping that the petrol station might have a charging lead.
I was so chuffed when I found out that we had the same phone so she could have mine.

I have had my fair share of people helping me out too though.
A lovely lady once paid for ds’s nappies for me when I had lost my card and a very nice chap asked if he could buy her an ice cream last week when we had gone to the park without any cash on me. He said that his grandchildren were all grown up and it was nice to be around a toddler again. 😊

There are some really fabulous people about. I love threads like this.

@username you are right, and I need toto just notice things then be a bit more forthcoming about just giving some help, so antihistamine guy literally just came over with the meds in his hand and it was a done deal. When I do offer help to people they always seem to have it covered.

@mbosnz surely it must be beyond coincidence that your husband had the very skills needed by your 3am caller, that's amazing. You sound very kind indeed.

I have anxiety and tend to overpack for most occasions, the bottom drawer of my desk at work has paracetamol, nurofen, antihistamines, tampons, snacks etc I get teased about it but my colleagues no they are available for them too.

I'll never forgot the kindness of a stranger when DD was getting monitored in GP Bays at the local hospital, her breathing wasn't the best due to a virus, she has underlying health issues so GP always sends us to the hospital for monitoring. After about 6 hours we were free to go, so DH went ahead to bring the car to the pick up area. As I was walking along the meet him DD vomited all over her pram and herself, it was black coffee granule, so I panicked and ran back to the ward and threw her into the arms of one of the doctors and I was sobbing hysterically as they stripped her down and checked her over, a lady came over with tissues, sat me down and put her arm around me and reassured me until DH made it back to the ward. I never saw her again and would love to thank her for her kindness, will never forget her.

@stuck I cannot count the number of people who helped me up stairs with pushchairs. I did once help entertain a young boy on a flight, his parents wanted to sleep so we just included him in our games. Maybe that counts?

@thatsnotmyname I have never been complimented in a fitting room. That's a wonderful thing to do and it costs nothing!

@whatkatydid somepeople are so kind, where would you be without paris camera man.

I think kindness is seeing what’s needed in the moment, and doing it.
It’s not about being prepared, it’s more about seeing the need.

I was on a bus a couple of weeks ago. A mum with a young child was on the bus, i noticed her take his blood and test it on a machine. She then said to him does he feel ok as he was ‘low’. I immediately know that he had diabetes and offered her a little pack of jaffa cakes for him, it was all i had but she was so grateful. Not long after he had perked up a lot.

@Enidbutton you are right it does come more naturally to some people, but it doesn't come naturally to me, I don't want to look good or judge in any way. I just know how small actions have had a big impact on my day and I want to pay it forward in some way.

I work as a science technician in a school. I keep sanitary towels in my desk for girls that need one but don’t have money for the machine. I sew up ripped blazers or trousers when needed or clean ink off phones etc

It’s a case of I’m a parent and I would want someone to help my children if they needed it

I’ve also been that parent picking their child up with a box of ice lollies because it’s cheaper to buy a box of eight and hand out the five spares to other kids than it is to buy three individual.

On holiday in Turkey, Went to buy something and realised my purse was missing. Retraced my steps without much hope. When I went into a previous shop the assistant immediately recognised me and said, you dropped your purse walking out the shop - here it is.

A few years ago I had a puncture on the motorway. A car stopped very quickly to help me change the tyre for me. Turned out the wheel brace wasn't in my car. He unloaded his boot to access his. It was full of suitcases - they were just coming back from holiday and he had his wife and 2 kids in the car.

I help people when I can but I don't remember when I do BUT when someone goes above and beyond to help me out it sticks in my mind forever.

@Ohyesiam you expressed it perfectly.

I used to drive up a very steep hill with a horrible bend on it/crossroad on it . If you don’t know the road you would think you had to stop and do a very difficult hill start.
Drove up one day and saw a young girl stopped just before the bend. In a split second thought that’s a strange place to make a phone call and realised she had probably broken down. Pulled up to help. She was actually on the phone to her mum crying. She had just passed her test, Had stalled the car and could get the clutch control to set off again (she said the clutch was smoking). She was completely panicking.
Calmed her down, talked her through it, said I would stay with her and ran at the side of her car until she got going.
Remembered my own dc in a similar situation as a learner.

My Nan fell over in town a few years ago and mum had barely blinked before the staff of the nearby Boots had run out the door offering a chair, first aid etc. Two teenage lads stopped and offered to call 999.

DH ended up in A&E and a lady paid for a couple of drinks for us as I’d forgotten my card and didn’t realise until I’d placed the order

Reading this thread I feel there’s hope for us yet!

Do you carry medical supplies/ tissues/ food/drinks everywhere just in case?

No, I carry them because I’m mum. 😂