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Original poster

Sat outside police station

204 replies

helpdos · 23/06/2019 15:27

Please help me. I don't know if I'm ready for my life to be turn upside down.

He's been violent for year but he's now just pushed dd off a bar stool for Sticking up for me . She's 14

OP posts:
Pavlova31 · 23/06/2019 21:13

Well done Op. You and your daughter so deserve to be away from him 💐

BishopofBathandWells · 23/06/2019 21:14

Your DD will know you've got her back. That's the message you've passed to her today, and it's a powerful one. Gosh, OP, what a dreadful situation. Am thinking of you.

Newnewnewnames · 23/06/2019 21:15

Your heart is pounding, you are scared - but this means you are BRAVE!
You have changed your daughter's life for the next 80 years by going in to report him.
She will still love her dad, she will love and respect you and she will never let anyone touch her or frighten her because you showed her it's not okay.
You're simply brilliant.
Sleep well, OP.
You're her hero x

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 23/06/2019 21:16

You didn't turn your life upside down. He did, when he became violent.

TalkToMeee · 23/06/2019 21:16

Don't update with any detail OP, not if it is now a police investigation. Well done though Thanks

Nikhedonia · 23/06/2019 21:36

Well done for protecting you and your DD, OP.

That couldn't have been easy. Really done you've done the right thing Thanks

Starlight456 · 23/06/2019 21:41

Well done op. This gives both of you a better future.

fudgesmummy · 23/06/2019 21:43

Very well done darling

BlackeyedGruesome · 23/06/2019 21:53

Well done. It is really easy to minimise these things. It is what our brains do to help us cope. Well done for going through with talking to the police.

Read through the thread to see how bad it really is.

Sometimes it is only reading others reactions that resets your normal to closer to everyone else's.

Happy Freedom Day. mine is January 15.

Starheart · 23/06/2019 22:00

Just wanted to say well done . Your daughter will be proud . Big hugs to you .

FromDespairToHere · 23/06/2019 22:01

Nothing to add, apart from joining in the chorus of well done xxx

buttertoasty · 23/06/2019 22:02

Very well done OP

CliveTheCheeseplant · 23/06/2019 22:03

OP you need to take in the magnitude of what you did today- you saved your daughter. You really did. Because even if he never touched her again, the message you’d have given had you not taken action would have affected her every day for the rest of her life. Trust me, I was her and my mum never did anything to protect me. I only suffered through a few violent incidents but they flashback every single day in my mind. I’m 40 now. It never leaves you and knowing you weren’t worth fighting for totally fucks up your self esteem and your mental health forever.

Stay strong. Give her lots of hugs. Well done.

Strugglingonagain · 23/06/2019 22:06

Well done OP. Hope you are ok and your DD is too x

IamEarthymama · 23/06/2019 22:15

Pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hi 5!
What a message you are sending to your daughter
Be very proud of yourself.

ThanksThanks

darlingtwinklebum · 23/06/2019 22:34

Well done op Thanks be proud of yourself you've saved not only your life but that of your daughter x

Gilead · 23/06/2019 22:44

So many of us know how bloody hard this is, well done!

Original poster
helpdos · 23/06/2019 23:47

Thank you everyone . The officer has left . I'm worried about the next step and protecting the house and home etc . I couldn't live like that anymore . Seeing her in that situation was a wake up call

OP posts:
Whosorrynow · 24/06/2019 00:09

It's funny isn't it how we make excuses and explain it away when the abuse is directed at us, but when they attack someone else suddenly we see the situation clearly for what it is

plominoagain · 24/06/2019 00:58

Well done for having the courage . So many don’t . You should get referred to the domestic violence or community safety unit depending on where you are . They can help you by getting a panic alarm set up in your house and all sorts of other things to safeguard you and your family , you just have to ask. They should also be able to ask for bail conditions so he can’t come near you , and advise you how to go for a non molestation order . Now you’ve made that first step , you’ve got access to so much help . You can do this . You HAVE done this . Well done.

Weenurse · 24/06/2019 01:03

Well done.
Have the police given you advice on what to do next?

HappyLoneParentDay · 24/06/2019 01:20

OP call the NCDV tomorrow on 08009702070 and they will arrange for an emergency injunction and an occupational order to keep him away from the house REGARDLESS of whether he owns it or is on the tenancy. Also, this will be fully covered by Legal Aid under the Domestic Abuse gateway.

Please please call them

Memom · 24/06/2019 11:05

Well done. Not easy (to put it mildly) but you've shown DD that no matter how difficult you can do it and hopefully she will never put up with it as an adult. Take care Thanks

listsandbudgets · 24/06/2019 13:06

Oh well done OP.

I am sure everything feels very confused and difficult at the moment but at the heart of it all you've done the right things to protect your DD. Well done.

So glad the police were supportive.

thepepperonionyourpizza · 24/06/2019 14:44

It's never just a one off OP, get your children and get as far away from him as you can manage, I beseech you. He'll continue to hit you both. Big unmumsnetty hugs x

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