Has your life lived up to your expectations?

[AlexaShutUp]

I'm really curious to know how satisfied other people are with their lives. On paper, my life is really good and I'm genuinely very grateful for what I've got. However, I always feel that there is something more that I'm somehow missing.

When I was younger, I truly believed that I'd do something special with my life - something extraordinary. As things have turned out, it seems that I'm uber ordinary. Now, I wonder if it was just the arrogance of youth that made me feel that way. Even so, a part of me still believes that I was meant to do something amazing and I just need to figure out what it is so that I can get on and do it.

Does everyone actually feel like this? If you lead an ordinary sort of life, perhaps where you have had some great experiences and make a positive difference to others on a fairly small scale, but you're never going to change the world, do you feel that is enough or do you wonder if there is more? Am I greedy/arrogant to my life to be extraordinary?

I know it's up to me to create whatever meaning/purpose/sparkle I want in my life, and I'm trying to think about how I can do this, but what I'm eager to know is whether the yearning that I feel is universal, or whether some people are actually quite content to lead lives which are happy but largely unremarkable?

Please be gentle. I know I probably sound like a twat, but I've felt this all my life and I just want to know if everyone else feels the same.

@NaomifromMilkshake, nothing solidified a GOOD relationship like adversity. 😉

Sorry you’ve had such a horrific time.

Thank you Happy Spud...

I am still here to moan about it, so consider myself very lucky.

My last bout of cancer was when DS was 14. I wasn't ready to leave him then and I don't want to leave him now, but if I was to get cancer again he is closer to adulthood and I have another four years input. IYSWIM.

And he is by all accounts turning into a fine young man. That is what people outside of the house tell me.

Like you OP, I always dreamed about making a contribution to the world. Not being famous or wealthy, just that I'd do something extraordinary and live a really unconventional and interesting life. I was also identified as being a gifted child and had a lot of great opportunities which I failed to capitalise on due to crippling anxiety and low self-esteem.

Now I'm working in a decent but not overly exciting job and have a lovely marriage to a lovely man, but I'm still searching for that bigger purpose. I sometimes think I'm not cut out for the 9 to 5 life in the suburbs but I'm not a huge risk taker like others have mentioned so I'm struggling to see how else I could live my life.

I think we all have conflicting needs, security and adventure, and for many the desire for security and stability is stronger than the desire for adventure.

Some of theses posts have made me feel unbearably sad -@Peachesandcream14, yours particularly - hang on in there, life can be beautiful.

I also feel unbelievably fortunate so much so that sometimes I feel guilty. I never expected or wanted to have children -we were working in the developing world for an NGO when we conceived our first child. That felt pretty extraordinary to start with but then extraordinary becomes ordinary when you do it every day so who knows?

We came back to the UK and sometimes that feels disappointing (particularly politically at the moment) but generally life has exceeded my expectations massively. I didn't want children so when I got pregnant I expected it all to be horrendous. It's not, some of it was and is obviously, but much of it is pure unbridled joy; my DC are fun and funny, engaging and bright and healthy. I have a very flexible job working from home, I have a faith that sustains me day in day out and a church that supports that. I have a lovely home with no mortgage and both my parents are in good health. I have a disabled brother who lives in sheltered accommodation for the moment and is very settled and happy.

I do worry about the future but I am learning to take each day one at a time and I am unbelievably grateful for what I have. Could I be extraordinary on a global basis? In all honesty, probably not but I am extraordinary for the people that matter.

Oh I forgot - I also have an amazing DH, which is something else I never thought would happen. I felt "destined" to be single.

With regards to the posts saying people ant to do something amazing in life. I get that. But I think I’ve come to a place where I realise that I can do amazing things at a local level and that’s enough.

If I can make a real difference to a few people struggling in my community, if I can make my workplace a supportive and empowering place, if I can volunteer my time to causes that matter, if I can be a true friend and if I can raise my kids to be happy and to want to make the world a better place, then that is enough of a legacy for me.

I’ve never understood why some people want to be famous or ‘achieve great things’. All I really wanted was to have a happy family life and feel secure. I had a fairly miserable upbringing.
I have got what I wanted in terms of marriage and children but now regret that I didn’t find the right career early on. I feel I’ve wasted my talents and put others first all my life.
The happy family has unravelled due to MH issues with one of my children. Things have become much more complex and challenging than I ever anticipated at this stage of my life.
Life throws curved balls when least expected. As you get older you really realise how precarious life is.

I think when you’re young, you have so many ideas & expectations coupled with huge self-awareness / self-regard. You’re young & brave! You also haven’t a clue, really...

Then you get older, wise-up. Take some knocks... And one day you wake up & realize that nobody actually cares what you look like, what you do or what you think.

more or less

I never thought I would change the world or be famous or anything like that

I can honestly say that my life is a massive fucking disappointment.

Childhood was pretty awful violent drunken father and angry mother fear was all I knew. ..I thought everyone felt like that!
Relationships wise it's been one disaster after another.
I gave up in the early 50's.
When I have been on my own as an adult my life was really moving along nicely for a good number of years in between relationships.
Then a few years ago I started with serious health problems mainly housebound and bed bound for last 6years.
This ended my career and my life as I knew it.
I never thought I would end up like this.