be honest- how often do you shout at your DCs?

[beclev24]

I probably shout at one or other of my DCs about once every week or so. By shouting I don't mean long strings of expletives or whatever but losing my temper and snapping eg "STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW!" or similar when they are being annoying- (not counting when they are doing something actively dangerous like running into the road or something). My DC are pretty full on- 3 very active and boisterous boys. Am I more shouty or less than most parents?

I'd say normal.

But you're about to get a lot of posters come on and say they never shout ever.

I’d say I’m similar to you OP (also 3 DC).

I don’t. But I know I’m unusual in that. I’ve just never needed to. I would say you sound fairly average from what I’ve heard though and wouldn’t worry about it.

About once a week. Sometimes more but it's usually when they are all shouting at each other to shock them and make them listen. I have 3 as well.

Goodness, I can guarantee I'll have shouted at these two before they leave for school this morning and I'm not especially shouty. Once a week?

Most days.

I shout. I have 4. I'm actually a really quiet person. But when they are all together and can be shouting or laughing uncontrollably or fighting they can't hear me. So i have to shout. I hate it but 4 voices against 1. What can you do. The eldest is 6 so they do bicker quite a bit. But after I have got through to them they are then hugging and lovely to each other. What can you do... If it's the only way to make them hear you then so be it. As long as your not screaming at them as discipline.

Before DC I was very calm, non confrontational.

I am currently extremely stressed out on several fronts and usually shout at my DC every other day ("stop doing that" rather than swearing). The eldest in particular just argues and argues with me and will not stop. It's either shout at him or burst into tears (which i also do sometimes).

Two weeks ago I created a system of positve and negative points. Last night I told them off a couple of times then threatened the black cross (-5 minutes screentime at the weekend). It actually worked.

Doubt it'll last for long though.

Most days I’ll raise my voice for some reason. Usually getting out the door in time or asking him to do something very simple but him not doing it.

That’s at my 7 year old. The 2 year old I don’t shout as she needs assistance with everything and therefore I do not get frustrated when she doesn’t do something.

Every single day. Every single morning to get them out of bed and to get them out of the bathroom and dressed. Then every single evening to stop them fighting and telling them to eat dinner and to go to sleep. I have 3.

I hardly ever shout. Don't need to, as I have one dd who is generally very well behaved. I think it's harder with multiple children.

I try not to as eldest dc is autistic and shouting escalates the situation. But i raised my voice the other night at 10pm when dc3 wouldn't hand over their phone and go to bed. Used to shout more when they were younger - they were challenging times and i was often at the end of my tether.

Rarely. Very rarely.

I raised my voice with DD this morning - not shouting, but a raised, frustrated voice. I was struck by it, because it seemed so out of character.

However, it wasn't always thus. Back when they - well, I say 'they', I really mean DD since she is beyond stubborn, as compared with uber-compliant DS - were (was) about 3-4, it was a more regular occurrence, much as I hated myself for it. Never shouting, but raised and frustrated - and as soon as that happens, it all turns to custard and you're no longer on the route to a good outcome.

It does get better - they become much better at being reasoned with. I do have two good kids, so nothing I can really take credit for or be smug about.

Not often. When they were smaller it became a habit and then one day I had a lightbulb moment that when I shouted the situation always escalated. So now they get my quiet voice instead, which frightens the bejesus out of them

OMG all the time. At least, that's how it feels sometimes. It gets to a certain point of the day, every day, and they just seem to stop listening and start dicking about. When I shout it's usually along the lines of, "Ffs dc, get your supper and then get ready for bed. Stop arsing about!" because it's got to that time of day and I'm fed up of making decisions, fed up of being in charge and want to switch off but I'm still on my own because dh is late home again.

Not that often at the moment, but dd is only 2.5 and quite well behaved. I imagine much more shouting in my life as she gets older and more defiant.

It varies, and I'll be honest and say it's at least 50% down to how I'm feeling (the other 50% down to their behaviour). If I'm getting enough sleep, getting some breaks & support, feeling well, not stressed about anything else - I'll not shout, even if their behaviour isn't great (all being well this can last months). But if my reserves are low I'm more likely to shout (probably once a day or so depending on their behaviour). It makes me feel pretty crap to be honest as I know I can handle them without shouting, so I need to try harder when my reserves are low.

I hardly ever shout - but that's largely because I only have one I'm sure. If I had 2 i imagine "Pack it in the pair of you" would never be far from my lips. So less angry shouting but probably less fun too.

Very very rarely now. Practically never. But it’s simply because they have grown up. I think I used my quota of shouting at them when they were younger and before I figured them/this parenting thing out. I have 3 dc, two with autism and I was a completely overwhelmed single parent. I’ve learnt to pick my battles and they’ve learnt the non negotiable parts of family life.

Although they are all teenagers now so I expect our reality is rather tenuous and subject to change at any moment

Rarely, now that eldest is mid-teens, he is also ASD so shouting escalates situations very rapidly. Youngest is unnaturally well behaved so very rarely shout at that one. More when younger I think.

About 5 times so far this morning. Ds is still sitting on the side of his bed in his onesie moaning about random crap.

Hardly ever, but tbh it's not that mine are angels (they're certainly not!), it's just I'm not a shouty person. My mum was a pretty volatile shouter when I was a kid and I hated it, it made me very anxious so I didn't want that for my kids. But mainly it's just not my personality, I would definitely speak firmly to them if necessary but not shout.

Every bloody day. Usually along the lines of, hurry up, stop that, get the shoes on now, put the ipad down, stop swinging on that. They are good kids though. I know these situations could be handled without shouting or frustration. I'm feeling very alone and down right now though and I know it's effecting my parenting. Seeing doc next week though and have lots of nice activities planned for the weekend. Just about to go out for a nice walk now. Forever googling how to be a better mother.

Maybe once or twice.

It just doesn't work for me. I think shouting is almost as bad as hitting. It shows you've lost control of the situation.

My mum shouted at me continuously throughout my childhood and it affected me really badly. I felt like the shittest, worst daughter in the world, every time. There is no way I want to make my kids feel like that.

Every single day on multiple occasions, particularly in the mornings when getting ready. A repetitive marathon of shouting occurs about the same things before we all go out to face our day. We have 4, two of which are my own.