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Original poster

I’ve been reported as a missing person!

350 replies

Lizzielocket · 21/06/2019 00:30

Frequent poster and have name changed for this.
I was woken by my mobile ringing about 40 minutes ago, I answered it on the second call, it was the police, they were outside my property and wanted to come in. I duly went downstairs and let them in.
I was starting to feel panicky as I have elderly parents and an adult DD who doesn’t live at home anymore.
I was asked my full name which I told them, they then told me I have been reported as a missing person. Somebody had told them that my father and partner couldn’t make contact with me and they were very worried about me. I was with my father this afternoon and I said goodnight to my partner around 2 hours ago by text as he’s at an airport and was about to fly.
I am now in bed with a cup of tea and feeling very confused. They checked on my sleeping DC too.
I don’t know why I’m posting to be honest, has anybody else experienced this?
I’m a very normal woman with a very normal life, they insisted that the call to them wasn’t malicious. So very confused!

OP posts:
LarkDescending · 21/06/2019 08:17

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha if your DP was on a flight at the time what’s the point in trying to call him immediately?

TanMateix · 21/06/2019 08:19

My bet is that either of OP’s parents or ILs called them in a moment of confusion These things may come suddenly and for short periods at the start, my grandmother’s first sign of dementia was her calling home crying saying my father and his brother had gone missing, but couldn’t believe my father when he said he was not lost and ok because in her mind my father was a child, an hour later she was fine, and couldn’t think why she thought that, then it happened again a few months later until it was happening every month a few years later.

As for the people suspecting the friend for being ready to support OP in the middle of the night... I really don’t understand was wrong with that, that’s what good friends do in emergencies, they don’t take the bloody diary out and tell you they will give you a ring later on the day when they have 20 minutes to talk. I have a good number of friends who would drop everything to come and help in the middle of the night if something serious happened. I would do the same for them, those who wouldn’t I call “acquaintances” not friends.

Deemail · 21/06/2019 08:19

That's really strange, do you not have the right to formally request the information about who made this report?

Original poster
Lizzielocket · 21/06/2019 08:20

Had a quick skim through replies as off on school run.
The unknown caller gave the police my number, sorry if my posts didn’t seem clear, I was flustered in the night.
DP has taken his DD away as he often does, he keeps in constant contact and they both sends photos, I trust him, we are happy and don’t have any problems in our relationship.
Nobody has harassed me or caused me any problems, I haven’t noticed anybody hanging around either.
It would be a great start to a novel, any budding writers out there in MN land feel free to use it Grin
Have messaged DD and told her briefly what has happened.
They wanted my fathers details incase there is any further calls that I am missing, if they can’t get in touch with me they will call DF who will confirm I am alive and well. Obviously it saves them time and having to visit me again.
What an absolute waste of police time. Its good to know that the police are hot on reports of missing people though.
Pleased to hear that this has happened to others!

OP posts:
Smellbowpenisbeaker · 21/06/2019 08:20

I think it’s your mate looking to get
a sofa for the night.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/06/2019 08:29

This happened to me three years ago. Police turned up at 1:30am, hammered on the door, scared the life out of me. I'd been reported missing, someone had said that nobody had seen me in 8 days and I wasn't answering my phone. All not true! The police were friendly but it scared the life out of me.

I went to see them to ask about finding out who it was; I had a meeting there but they couldn't share information about who the caller was. They did sympathise with my concern but said their hands were tied.

Not much else happened... a couple of months later, someone bought me an "anonymous" ticket for a Christmas meal at the local pub, and they also wouldn't tell me who, but I can't remember anything else. I never found out who it was.

Thanks I hope you have an alright day OP!

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 21/06/2019 08:30

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha if your DP was on a flight at the time what’s the point in trying to call him immediately?

On the first page OP says he's not coming back for a week, and she's not going to tell him because he would worry - to me that seems odd.

Mind you, I'm now wondering if the DP's daughter is old enough to play pranks.

Illberidingshotgun · 21/06/2019 08:30

I can't see how it's not malicious. The report was clearly about you, and the police had all your details.

You can request the information held about you under GDPR. Whether they would redact it to remove the name of the person that reported it, I don't know, (I suspect they might) however it may give you some clues.

I would definitely get back in touch with the police and explain that no-one had been worried about you, you weren't missing, in trouble or unwell. Ask them to explain why they don't think the call was malicious, and if they will be looking at a charge of wasting police time.

Soola · 21/06/2019 08:36

I had an elderly relative get confused and she called the police who phoned my place of work to get I touch to see if I was ok.

She could have called my parents or various other members of the family but went straight to the police. She didn’t know exactly where I worked so the police would have had to investigate to find out!

I had been in regular contact with her by email as she didn’t like talking on the phone but for some unknown reason to this day she was suddenly unable to access my emails. So I now write to hue by snail mail.

W0rriedMum · 21/06/2019 08:36

@AnchorDownDeepBreath I remember your Xmas dinner story!! I often wondered if you found out who did it in the end.

Soola · 21/06/2019 08:38

Also if you raise something with the police then you have no idea when they will investigate so you? So the police chose to go round at night when they could have gone round there first thing this morning, so the person who reported it wouldn’t necessarily be looking for the op to be ‘bothered’ in the middle of the night.

AtillatheHun · 21/06/2019 08:41

@Anchordowndeepbreath - I remember your Christmas ticket! Did you go to the lunch in the end or not?

ravenmum · 21/06/2019 08:43

Great start to a novel? If this was a novel, it would be the first sign of a stalker, and things would go downhill from there.

ArnoldBee · 21/06/2019 08:44

But the police didn't ask for your partners phone number so did someone think they had bumped you off?

morepooh · 21/06/2019 08:51

@ReanimatedSGB How on earth do they do that? I have below average net competence. How do they find out who you are?!!

mindutopia · 21/06/2019 09:08

OP, I think this is someone who knew you would be alone and wanted to unsettle you. Who would have known your dp was going away last night? Do you get along with his ex (his dd’s mother)? Could it even have been his dd or a boyfriend of hers? I assume she is older. Friends or family of your dp who might be a bit odd and want to spook you?

I don’t think it’s the sort of thing someone would do knowing you’d be at home with your partner. I think the timing is a clue.

Honeyroar · 21/06/2019 09:14

My husband wouldn’t tell me anything while I’m working away either unless it was life and death. He wouldn’t want me to be worried somewhere miles away about something I can’t do anything o j s my. aw gabout.

Of course the police check where you live first in a missing person case, In case someone has died in their house.. or is lying there hurt.

ThelmaDinkley · 21/06/2019 09:15

Glad you had some sleep OP and hope you get to the bottom of it.

ArnoldBee · 21/06/2019 09:21

And they didn't already have your father's number so couldn't have been him that reported it?

NigellaAwesome · 21/06/2019 09:24

This could be a rogue officer who is checking to see if the OP would be open to a booty call. (Sadly this happens more than people would believe). Have you had any involvement with police in recent months as a witness, or reporting anything? Any close members of your family?

OP - I would ring 101 again and state that you are very shaken by police calling at that time and you want to discuss it with the call-room supervisor. Ask them to update the call log to state that you believe it was a malicious call. Also ask them to ensure that no information about you is passed back to the person who reported this.

Reports of missing persons are graded by police, and there is zero information in your post which would suggest that police should have been dispatched rather than them phoning you in the first instance.

NigellaAwesome · 21/06/2019 09:26

Or it could be a dementing friend of your parents?

RosaWaiting · 21/06/2019 09:28

Anchor I remember that too.

OP I think I’d be looking at exes first. I think it’s a great shame that the police can act on a tip like this, they shouldn’t have disturbed you and your DC in the middle of the night. To that end, I’m thinking there’s person who reported it made it seem super urgent and that it couldn’t wait till morning.

I also don’t like the fact they asked to check on your DC. All reeks of an ex trying to cause upset.

usernameuser · 21/06/2019 09:33

Yes I remember the Christmas Dinner one too. Any update Anchor? 😆

diddl · 21/06/2019 09:35

I understand that they might not say who it was, but I would hope that the person would at least get a bollocking as surely they are claiming a relationship with the Op that just isn't there?

Op could probably prove that she had contacted her partner & it could be checked that she had seen her dad if it needed checking.

Why did they check on your sleeping daughter?

That would creep me out!

BlueMerchant · 21/06/2019 09:36

Does this 'friend' on your sofa have a family of his own? I'd be looking closely at him. Does he know your husband was away? Is he lonely? Somewhat obsessive or going through a tough time?
I'd seriously be looking at him.

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