Teacher thinks I need to give DS bigger lunch

[HealthyLunchBox]

Name changed for this.

So picked DS aged 5 up from school today and teacher asked for a word.

She said after lunch, they were talking about healthy eating and made healthy wraps as part of the lesson. DS pilled his full of cheese, peppers ect. Huge apparently. When all the kids went out to play he decided to stay in and eat the whole wrap. She said he seemed absolutely ravenous and she found it strange as he had just had lunch. I didn't know what to say so just said okay... Then she said well maybe it's just a growth spurt.

I feel really embarrassed and judged. So this is what he had in his lunch today. Tuna mayo salad sandwich on seeded bread, a big slice of crust less quiche made with broccoli, spinach, cabbage and cheese, a pear and box of raisins.

He did eat all his lunch today but will often come home with stuff uneaten. I dont want to put more food in for it just to be wasted.

Sorry I don't really know why I'm posting. I just feel like a bad parent.

the OP has said what he had for lunch, and it was enough for a child twice his age. Even for many adults.

FFS! You can't possibly know that since you have no idea what else he gets fed in the day.

If his weight is within the normal boundaries no need to change anything - it sounds delicious! If you're likely to be growing a tall one/if he's having a spurt/fewer bits coming home you might need to factor in something else. Raisins don't go very far after they're not toddlers any more. I'd maybe bung in a flapjack or something like that, kids do need a few carbs and fats with the amount of energy they burn and the growing they're doing. Don't stress about it though, I'm sure the teacher was trying to be helpful not criticising as she's just observing something you wouldn't normally see so might not know.

Or.. Maybe switch the sandwiches for a loaded wrap - perhaps he just really really enjoyed the wrap!

Def don't give him more in his lunchbox - it would verge into overfeeding territory if you did. Portion control can be a real issue with some kids. Ds would eat a wrap as you described and maybe a piece of fruit, not more, and would rarely manage a whole sandwich at the same age, so you are absolutely not under feeding him.

My teeny tiny 7 year old DD once ate 5 hot dogs at the school fete.
God knows what they thought of us! She was the tiniest, skinniest one in the class, bet they thought she was never fed either!!

I wouldn't worry OP, she was just mentioning it. She hasn't reported to you to social services!

Was it raining? It was bucketing down here this afternoon and as a five year old I'd have opted to stay in and eat over going out in the rain.

Also he might have just set himself a 'challenge'. 5 year okds are weird. Ds yesterday spent his whole lunch break taking the cheese out of his wrap and poking it into his water bottle to make cheese juice. Which he drank. Missed outdoor play and everything.

OK, my apologies saraclara. I missed that the OP had said what he had yesterday.

Although, the OP really needs to stop with the flax seed, chia seed crap. He's eating seeded bread as well! It really isn't healthy for his digestive system to be eating so many seeds, especially at such a young age.

I think you are over reacting, if the teacher thought there was a safeguarding issue then she may have made the point of checking his lunch for a few days before mentioning it but she didn't so I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. It's not that big a deal and it could have easily been that he did need more food if he is slim and ravenous, so no harm in her saying. As you've said he does have rather a large lunch but if he wasn't then it would have been worth knowing to increase it, she's being caring not judgemental.

Just a note to the posters asking why he didn't have a free school meal

• it is only England that does the free meals for infant children. In wales we don't get that option, so the OP may not have that option.

@sugartitz Scotland also do free school meals for first 3 years.

Just a though, but are you sure he is eating all his lunch. When DD talks about lunchtime, there seems to be an awful lot of food swapping goes on. This can also be other kids doing worse out of the swap. If your packed lunch is better than what the other kids have, are,you sure they aren’t dipping in?

That is a big lunch. Sandwich and quiche, fruit etc. Healthy as it is, it’s a lot of food for a small child to be ravenous later.

Why did they make the wraps if they didn’t want the children to eat them . So weird she shamed you like this. The amount of food sounds fine.

He probably enjoyed making the food and coupled with a smidgeon of the afternoon munchies thought he'd tuck in and didn't want it to go to waste, sounds like a lovely little boy trying to please his teacher.

Don’t forget, teachers are just people, she noticed something, and mentioned it. She’s probably got 30 kids to think about and maybe could have been more sensitive in delivery.
I would stick in a little bag of breadsticks. Filling if he is extra hungry some days, but won’t “go off” if he leaves them. (I’d make sure he knows he doesn’t have to eat them, and they are to be eaten last if he still feels hungry.)
Then stop worrying about being judged.

Jeez I wish my dd would eat as well as your ds

Well if you made a lovely cheese wrap as an adult would you rather eat it or walk away. No brainer!

My son is 36 now but when he was a child he was stick think and ate like a horse. He would eat at every given opportunity. I counted 5000 calories one day. His father was the same. The other day I watched him eat half a cake. It seems to go into a large black hole.

I'm jealous that you have such a good eater! My very fussy 9 year old appears to have eaten two slices of cucumber for lunch today and that's all.

Maybe your ds's teacher has just met far more fussy ones like mine and was surprised that your ds ate everything.

It sounds like your ds has a healthy diet - you must be doing a great job. Don't let a one-off comment get to you.

I don't understand the making the wraps if they weren't supposed to be eaten. What a waste of food. Why not let parents know they were making these and do it just before lunch so they could eat them as part of their lunch.

FWIW my son at that age would have thought all his Christmases had come at once and wolfed up the wrap and to be honest greedy me is thinking cheese wrap v playtime in this lovely weather we're having at the moment.. No contest 😊

Not sure why the teacher thought this was unusual TBH

I've had a teacher say similar. One of. One of mine has no stop, he literally wants to eat all day everyday. He has severe learning difficulties and ASD, and think he gets fixated on food, so when he was having lunches would then be interested in what was for dinners. I switched him to dinners then as it was ridiculous. He's is quite slim but very solid, he weights more than his older brother but then his older rather really struggles with gaining weight and eating.

As it was his lunch box was twice the size of his twin brothers 🙈 I think they have figured it out now, he just likes eating, he sucks on things a lot of the time too, he just likes things in his mouth. Been called in for him eating soil too.

I was mortified though when the teacher said it, she didn't like me, that's a whole other story though. She must have said it about 5 times at different occasions, I was paranoid she was trying to say I was starving him so kept giving him more and more to the point it was just ridiculous and I switched him to school lunches.

I would honestly be more concerned that the teacher's idea of teaching DC about healthy eating is to have them make wraps straight after lunch then not eat them. Some kids are surely going to interpret that as wasting food is a virtuous choice...

I would have thought the lunch supervisors would have noticed if his lunch wasn’t substantial. I think your ds saw an opportunity to scoff food and chose food over going out to play in the rain (well, it’s bern raining here).

Good lord. The teacher was doing what is actually a responsibility of her role. Student welfare.
She seems to have had a reasonable discussion with you, simply bringing up the fact that even after lunch he ate a whole filled wrap.
Either the other kids weren’t interested, or AS interested as yours therefore it stuck out to her that he was more inclined to eat his food. ONE of the reasons for this COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN that he wasn’t getting enough lunch.
So she’s brought it to your attention. It’s now your decision as to wether or not you are going to act upon it.
She saw something that was not ‘the norm’ (yes a child eating a wrap is hardly out of the ordinary, I get it, but if he was the only one out of 30...) and has had a quiet word.
How is that shaming or embarrassing? I’m embarrassed to have read and responded to this, pointing out what seems to the bleeding obvious!

I honestly wouldn't dwell on this. He had a hungry day. No biggie.