Teacher thinks I need to give DS bigger lunch

[HealthyLunchBox]

Name changed for this.

So picked DS aged 5 up from school today and teacher asked for a word.

She said after lunch, they were talking about healthy eating and made healthy wraps as part of the lesson. DS pilled his full of cheese, peppers ect. Huge apparently. When all the kids went out to play he decided to stay in and eat the whole wrap. She said he seemed absolutely ravenous and she found it strange as he had just had lunch. I didn't know what to say so just said okay... Then she said well maybe it's just a growth spurt.

I feel really embarrassed and judged. So this is what he had in his lunch today. Tuna mayo salad sandwich on seeded bread, a big slice of crust less quiche made with broccoli, spinach, cabbage and cheese, a pear and box of raisins.

He did eat all his lunch today but will often come home with stuff uneaten. I dont want to put more food in for it just to be wasted.

Sorry I don't really know why I'm posting. I just feel like a bad parent.

I can see why she mentioned it but I feel like she should have checked his lunch box for a few days first to see if I had been starving him. I feel so judged. I'm trying to not let it get to me but I can't help it.

What? It was far easier for her to mention it to you, than spend the next few days checking his lunch box.

It's not the teacher's fault you replied 'OK' and just left it. I expect she might've wanted you to tell her that his lunch box had more than enough in it, which from what you've said here, it did.

Personally I would have a quick word tomorrow, especially as it's playing on your mind.

I’d say it was the novelty factor of making a wrap in school !

My school offers a very similar lunch box to buy for trips a sandwich, piece of fruit, raisins and a biscuit. This is also for all children up to yr 6. So dont worry about being a bad parent but if your ds is especially hungry it could be true he is growing and needs a bit extra. A good big breakfast and dinner and a couple of extra things in his lunchbox wouldnt hurt.

Then there is nothing to worry about.

I don't agree she was wrong to say something though. Some kids don't get fed right at home, and if you're faced with a slim child who presents as starving hungry and would rather forego play time with his friends to eat, then ignoring it would be wrong.

It's not a judgement, but it's something that should be mentioned, as because we all know some kids are not fed well at home.

Don't give him raisins - they are very bad for his teeth.

raisins are fine as part of a meal. as long as you don't snack on them all day long...

Why are people so terrified that a child might experience the sensation of hunger once in a blue moon?

He is a healthy weight. He is clearly not starving. If he wasn't getting enough calories each day, he would be losing weight.

We have hungry days and not so hungry days. The wraps happened to be planned for a hungry day so he ate his.

It is OK for children not to feel full all of the time. It isn't the same as being undernourished.

Teachers are meant to be vigilant for children who aren't getting enough food because some are living in poverty such that there literally isn't enough money to feed everyone these days. She's checked with you that he's getting enough to eat so hopefully that's the end of the matter.

Just to be clear to the posters who have asked. I didn't type out the whole conversation. Just the jist of it. She did say he probably needs a bigger lunch. Obviously I didn't just say 'okay'. That was what I said initially, after she made her point. But it's still playing on my mind. I wanted opinions from others which is why I posted.

It sounds far larger and more nutritious than the lunch my 5 year old is given by the school!

What's weird is this teacher seemed to have got her class to make wraps and then been surprised that any kid wanted to... you know, eat the food they had made. What were they supposed to be doing with them?

What's weird is this teacher seemed to have got her class to make wraps and then been surprised that any kid wanted to... you know, eat the food they had made

That’s true. DD’s reception class made jam sandwiches one afternoon as part of some work they were doing. They ate them, even though it was after lunch.

Maybe she was worried you'd blame her if he didn't eat his tea, and was preempting that...

I also find it really odd that they made wraps but weren't expected to eat them. They really made a whole filled wrap each? Not one per table or something? Sounds like a crazy waste of food.

There's hunger, there's greed and there's more and less self-control. Some children will eat anything tasty that's put in front of them, even if they end up uncomfortably full. Others won't.

Another vote for weird stuff teachers sometimes say that should be put in a box labelled 'ignore'.

He'd just made a wrap as he wanted it - if I'd made the perfect sandwich I'd want to bloody well eat it too!

If she raises it again I'd put on a concerned face and say something like 'actually, I'm much more concerned that he was avoiding the playground - can you run past me the supervision the school has in place again please, because really, he gets a good amount of food in his lunch so something else must be up'.

Lottie, that's what I don't get. Surely he wasn't the only child that eat the whole thing? As far as I can tell, they all made a wrap each.

Also, did the wrap seem like 'treat food' to him? Different to food he'd have at home?

I am sure he is fine OP.
I think teachers suffered from the tragic Daniel Pelka case where a child was starved to death by his mother and teachers concerns were rebuffed.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-22760991

That makes no sense, AnotherNightWatering, based on what the OP has posted.

I think the teacher did the right thing to share her concerns with you, and it would have been wrong not to mention it. In the same way she should mention anything that might indicate a wider problem of some kind.

However, you know that he had a big enough lunch and generally eats well. So no need to worry.

Honestly, this isn't a big deal OP.

Could you not just add a but extra in his lunchbox and see if he eats it?

My son has a huge appetite. Would easily eat more than his dad from about 5 or 6 but has always been like a bean pole. He must just have a fast metabolism.

Maybe your son is just hungry and needs a bit more food?

It sounds fine apart from the cabbage in a quiche!!! Some days 5-year-olds can eat all day. Maybe try bananas some days as they are filling? Or extra protein? I'd prefer to make a healthy snack when he got home then put food in the bin because he wasn't eating it.

Op has already said that he's not hungry and sometimes leaves some of his lunch ffs.

Well when kids make something of their own they are more than excited to eat it. I doubt the kid is starving, probably not even hungry in the true sense of the word!

Sounds like the wrap was a novelty for him, and quite tasty - so he ate the whole thing. End of. Doesn't mean anything.
Kids often get bored of their lunches at school, the sandwiches get warm after a couple of hours in the bag. Honestly, I wouldn't give it a moments thought. The teacher made a flippant remark that means nothing.
A bit like if you went for a coffee with a friend and ate a nice cake that you usually wouldn't have every day. Because it was a once off novelty and tasted nice, not because your usual lunch was too small.

Tell the teacher he’s a gourmand and ask her for the wrap recipe.

Also, look forward to his Y6 when there might be the possibility he’ll come storming to you full of indignation that his school dinners are being restricted to the same portion size as a four-year-old’s, as my 5’8” 11-year-old did with me, and demand you “do something about it!”