Teacher thinks I need to give DS bigger lunch

[HealthyLunchBox]

Name changed for this.

So picked DS aged 5 up from school today and teacher asked for a word.

She said after lunch, they were talking about healthy eating and made healthy wraps as part of the lesson. DS pilled his full of cheese, peppers ect. Huge apparently. When all the kids went out to play he decided to stay in and eat the whole wrap. She said he seemed absolutely ravenous and she found it strange as he had just had lunch. I didn't know what to say so just said okay... Then she said well maybe it's just a growth spurt.

I feel really embarrassed and judged. So this is what he had in his lunch today. Tuna mayo salad sandwich on seeded bread, a big slice of crust less quiche made with broccoli, spinach, cabbage and cheese, a pear and box of raisins.

He did eat all his lunch today but will often come home with stuff uneaten. I dont want to put more food in for it just to be wasted.

Sorry I don't really know why I'm posting. I just feel like a bad parent.

This mentality of being happy to put more lunch in the box than is needed, and throw any leftovers away - it's madness. Not only is it wasteful, but it's encouraging children to eat more than they actually need. Sounds like he's fine Op, and just got a bit excited eating a tasty wrap that he'd made himself. The mad thing in this is why the school didn't let parents know that the children would make their own lunch that day... and then have them all sit down and eat it together.

I would feel the same as you....but it isn't rational. Teacher noticed something and raised it in case there was an issue.

I would check with son he eats his lunch (doesn't give it away to friends or take a few bites then bin it) If not I would assume growth spurt or really good wrap!

Ps—let it slide and don’t feel judged. No one did anything wrong (not you, not the teacher).

This isn’t one of the big fights. You’re doing fine.

Has she asked to speak to you before about anything else?
Just a thought

Sounds like a lovely lunch. My DD hardly touches her lunch at school but I remember a lesson where she had to make a sandwich at school and ate the whole thing even though she will go through a stage of informing me she hates sandwiches. My DS friend used to come to school with just a satsuma in his packed lunch box, my DS mentioned this to his teacher one day because he'd got in to trouble for sharing his lunch with the boy and two days later the boy come to school with a full packed lunch. I assume the teacher had addressed it with his mother which in this instance was the right thing to do.

I think your overthinking it. I would want the teacher to share the observation with me even if she wasn’t sure what it meant. It’s made you consider if he currently needs anymore.

'actually, I'm much more concerned that he was avoiding the playground - can you run past me the supervision the school has in place again please, because really, he gets a good amount of food in his lunch so something else must be up'.

Good grief! Don't say that. You'll just sound like a complete tosser!

He seemed hungry to the teacher. She's had an initial conversation with you to ascertain whether this is something that should be a concern. Yes, the lunch sounds fine - assuming he is also getting 2 other meals a day. That will have been part of her concerns.

And yes, the raisins are dreadful for his teeth. You would better giving him a chocolate biscuit!

You definitely don't need to talk to the teacher again about this, OP. She's mentioned it because it was unusual for a child to eat so much just after lunch (which it was) but it's up to you to check that his normal daily intake is sufficient (which it is). Nothing else needs to be said.

I wouldn't dream of asking a parent to come and see me so that I could say their child needed a bigger lunch, if I hadn't checked to see what she was sending in for him. That's just the sort of thing to send someone into a spin or risk the good relationship that one wants with parents.

She was way too quick off the mark. Did you tell her what you'd put in his lunch box that day, OP?

I think all of my kids would have eaten a wrap they had just made to their liking. We enjoy food. We tend to help ourselves to as much as we want and eat it all and not waste food. It would be totally counterintuitive to one of my kids to make a wrap and not eat it.

Your son sounds like a good unpicky eater OP and his lunch sounds fine. I think the poster upthread with the afternoon cake analogy had it right.

I was once told I was providing too much! Same age group. It was a sandwich, a small yogurt, a small home made fairy cake and an apple (old days!).

My DD will, without fail, finish anything she has made herself.

She's not unique, and I, and quite a lot of other parents I know, use it to get them to eat things they otherwise wouldn't.

I really wouldn't worry about it.

Teacher should check what was in his lunch BEFORE commenting and frankly mind her own! Bloody hell the crap they get fed in hot meals in our school is awful. You sound like you have him a healthy balanced and big enough lunch to me. I’d be fuming.

I would ignore the teacher your his parent and the best judge of how much lunch he needs what you packed for him sounds like plenty and very healthy. Maybe he just wanted the wrap? I am quite often full up but still keep on eating if I like the taste of something it doesn't mean I'm hungry!

Is he in reception? Why don't you have him on free hot meals? Maybe that's what she was getting at. At my school the head wants teachers to encourage every child in eyfs and ks1 to have the free hot lunch as it equals more funding for schools.

Well, he obviously set himself apart in the teacher's mind as he wanted to eat the wrap and skip playtime so she raised it with you (perhaps could have worded it better) but it doesn't constitute a huge damning judgement. Maybe she should have watched his eating habits for a few days before assuming anything.

Don't over analyse or complain. Your son sounds fine and the teacher meant well.

I guess if he likes wraps then that's why! If I had eaten lunch but then someone said oh we are making pizza and you can eat it... I NEVER refuse pizza

I'd happily eat a wrap after my lunch!

You seem more bothered by 'feeling judged' than by the idea that your child might want more food. Teacher was right to ask as her priority should be your child's welfare over your feelings. Maybe try asking him if he'd like a bigger lunch?

Russrll19 good point, why isn’t he having the hot lunch

@Butterymuffin, the OP has said what he had for lunch, and it was enough for a child twice his age. Even for many adults. If she gives him more, before long she'll be being judged for over-feeding him and risking obesity.

Of course she feels judged. We all would, when it's clearly an unfair judgement.

...and to those saying he should have a hot lunch, the lunch provided at my last school wasn't nearly as filling as the lunch the OP packed for him. And it was far less nutritious. I was appalled at what was fed to my pupils.

The teacher should have observed over a few days, she jumped in way too fast, considering the wrap and the making of it was a novelty, why would he not want to eat it.

The PP point about schools trying to get kids to have hot lunch is a good one- our school reception teacher had the gall to ask me how I would teach my daughter to “make healthy choices” if she didn’t have a hot lunch at school. The school dinners offered were far from healthy.

I’m a reception teacher and parent of a 6 year old. Sounds like a decent lunch. But I wouldn’t stress about what the teacher said - she noticed that he seemed very hungry after lunch and thought you would want to know. I don’t think it needs to be much more than that. Maybe you can chat with your son and ask him if he’s normally hungry after lunch? If a child was ravenous every day it would be a concern - either of neglect or an unrecognised medical condition. If it’s a one off, no-one is going to do anything else about it.