Things that get better or easier as children get older

[Del1lahdaydream]

My baby is 1 and I love her so much but find it so hard. But everyone I speak to just says it doesn’t get easier ...it just changes .

I know there will always be challenges. But there must be some things that get better/ easier? Please give me some hope

I can go to the toilet and a shower on my own. I can drink a hot cup of coffee without moving it out of the way.

Mornings
Bedtimes
Leaving the house
Mealtimes
Tidying
Days out
Conversation
Bathing
Illness
Holidays
Car trips
Adult nights out

Nah, definitely gets easier, in my experience. My children are at school most of the day. They get themselves dressed, they feed themselves, they wash and dress themselves. Now the oldest is old enough to babysit the youngest. They can bake cakes and make me tea.

Yeah there are times when they have issues at school and that can be upsetting, especially when you can't do anything about it. The worst might be yet to come, but for now (ks2& ks3) life is good. It is easy to forget what baby days are like and the true hideousness of sleepless nights.

When we were away with DD (who is 6, so a while off for you!) recently, we went out for a meal, and it was actually pleasant. She eats a very restricted diet, but we'd checked there was something suitable, so that was OK. We chatted while the meal was prepared; she played with the children's puzzle sheet for a bit, we all ate the meal without screaming or tears. Even a couple of years ago that seemed unimaginable. So it does improve. Eventually!

Mine are 5 and 7. I put them to bed and they basically stay there, they sleep all night and if they wake up before me, they go downstairs on their own and get their own breakfast. They can mostly dress themselves, wipe their own bums, brush their own teeth.

They’re still needy, attention-demanding, constantly hungry, always loud and everywhere all at once, especially where you least need them to be, but at least there are some easy parts!

Personally I find newborn to crawling the easiest bit - mainly because they stay in one place and can’t really destroy anything
Toddler stage in my house has been utter carnage, purely because there’s only 17 months between DCs so I had 2 toddlers at once. They would work together as a little destructive tag team, trying to out-smart me at every opportunity I leave the room for 30 seconds and one of them will do something naughty/destructive.
My eldest DC is 4 now, and while she’s out of the destructive toddler stage, she’s now into “defiant preschooler” stage - she genuinely thinks she runs the show and doesn’t have to listen to anyone. She soon realises that when it comes to certain things like bedtime and actually getting dressed in the morning, I am in fact captain of this ship

Mine are WAY easier now they're older.

I think which stage is easiest depends on you as well. I find the clingyness of babies very wearing, so older DC seem easier.

Posted too soon.....
DC2 is 2.5 and a total kamikaze child who will seek out danger at every opportunity. He is utterly feral, despite my efforts to train him But I’m hoping he will become more civilised as time goes on!

Sleep, sleep gets better!

My grandma always said that children make your arms ache when they are younger, your heart as they get older...

Oh, and specific ways they're easier now:

Entertain themselves for a bit so I can make dinner or whatever
Let me have a cup of tea and some breakfast in the morning
Don't wake me up 5 times a night
Get in the car without back arching/ironing board tanty
Can go to supermarket without behaving like baboons in heat
Don't destroy everything in sight

DNA I’m living for the day I can go in a supermarket without the baboon issue

I remember someone saying to me when DS was a similar age that it doesn't get easier it just gets different. Well I'm happy to say that was complete bollocks!! He 9 now and CHRIST is it easier! I mean yes, I'm sure teenager years will bring their own challenges but he's even (on occasions..) actually useful! Particularly as I recently broke my ankle -he can tidy up (under direction) and makes a mean cup of tea.

I can also do things with him that we BOTH enjoy - like geocaching, bike riding, going out for lunch to a nice cafe for a treat, playing computer games together etc.
Basically the better they get at communicating, the easier it gets. You'll find little freedoms creeping in, being able to go to the loo alone being one of the first ones.... Hang in there - the little years, though very cute, are bloody tough.

I got a much maligned baby-cage (aka playpen), and had been known to just chuck him and some toys in it, park it in front of cbeebies then lie on the sofa with a full cup of tea and a book for a wee while. Bliss. We also got a tablet when he was 2 and this was also a life saver - used 'responsibly' (i.e. not alllll the time!) it saved my sanity.

I still have a little one Into, so me too!!

Mine is turning 4 this week and every step has been easier. High maintenance, non-sleeping baby, then interested and interesting toddler, then imaginative and energetic pre-schooler, soon to be chatty and eager school child. As pp said, every advance in communication has made the difference. I’ve loved every stage since about 18 months.

Mind are 9 & 6. Just getting in and out of the car is so much easier and has been for some time now. I get in the front and do up my seatbelt whilst they do the same in the back by themselves. Whilst I still remind them, most times, they will have remembered to go to the loo, put their shoes on & take their coat all by themselves. When we go out, it doesn't matter if something is delayed as we can just buy a snack or a drink or they can wait until they get to a loo.
If you can't answer a question, they accept this rather than go "why" 29 billion times.
They are fun & interesting yet still under your control and small enough to just curl up on your knee.

Sorry but it gets harder before it gets easier.
The main benefit is being able to leave them for nights out with grandparents if they are easier to settle without you, because you have stopped breastfeeding for instance. I can’t think of much else.
You can sit down in gardens etc with friends with other kids and let them play when they are 2ish and only have to intervene every 5/10 minutes instead of every 2 with a crawling baby.
Enjoy going to restaurants for lunch for a few more months because soon it will stop being fun.

It gets easier in lots of ways mine are 11,10,8 & 7 the eldest two can bring me a cuppa. All lie in. Tantrums are few.
Cons - almost no adult evening time when they are all asleep
They won’t wear lovely matching outfits anymore ( or anything I would choose ..)

Mine is 19 months and waaay easier than when he was a baby in my opinion. He's tiring but honestly now he lets me sleep I don't care! I can make food, shower, play games with him and he enjoys the places we go and gives something back. Babies are so full I found.

THANK YOU for this thread! Mother to an adorable 6.5 month old by my goodness the clinginess is wearing, as PP said. Carting a baby from room to room with toys to entertain them while you do jobs, because they cry when you’re out of sight 🤦🏽‍♀️

We want her to have a sibling, so we will go through it again, but I have to say I’m looking forward to having, say, a 4 and 6 year old.

Easier physically but much harder emotionally. Frankly I thought the baby toddler age fine if boring childhood sweet yet time consuming now in their teens and it’s the angst, the drinking, the constant push for independence when still too young to drive, the heart aches, the life decisions (what GCSEs, what’s next), the girl bitches, the boy bullies...

The first day you leave the house holding just your handbag and car keys while your DC walks beside you is one to treasure. From that day onward you are regaining your freedom.
There will be many backwards steps -when they are ill they may regress a little and at some stages they lose the power of thought so do daft things they need rescuing from .
But by and large every day is new territory. Theres a poem which I love that reminds the reader of this
The Last Time Poem
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

the last time poem
Image found on Pinterest
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

-Author Unknown

Major milestones in my world:

When they could plug themselves into the car (seats / belts) without your help
When they can do their own hair
When the youngest turns 8 and you NEVER have to go into the council swimming baths with them EVER again Another good one When they start driving and pick you up from a night out

Things that are easier now my children are 8 and 5: -
They can do their own toileting. No more nappies!
They can dress themselves. Mostly. Ds2 still thinks it's funny to wear everything backwards.
They can feed themselves.
You can have a conversation with them.
They go to school.
They sleep!

Things that are harder: -
Now that they can do things doesn't mean that they will. Getting out the door with two children who argue with me, refuse to put on shoes and run off is stressful. I miss the baby days where they stayed where you out them!
Screens. It was useful as something to distract them so I could get stuff done. Now I'm subjected to games like Totally Accurate Battle Simulator and YouTubers like DanTDM. He's known as Dan Tedium in our house.
They want to 'help' with stuff. Which means thinking of things they can actually do, trying to stop them accidentally breaking things (and themselves) and having them argue with you about the right way to do what you're doing.

I have a toddler, but what’s better now than a year ago:
She’s physically more robust so less stress about falling face-first into something.
Will actually help tidy in a useful way.
Can be left alone (to watch Peppa) for 20 minutes or so.
Can be reasoned with to a limited degree (“first we do this, then you have that”).

But I cannot bloody wait for the day she can go into the council pool without me!