Things that get better or easier as children get older

[Del1lahdaydream]

My baby is 1 and I love her so much but find it so hard. But everyone I speak to just says it doesn’t get easier ...it just changes .

I know there will always be challenges. But there must be some things that get better/ easier? Please give me some hope

My DD is 12.

They can make you tea.
They can just get in the car without a load of faffing and equipment.
They can empty the dishwasher.
If you need to pop out to the shop for something, you can just go without it taking just as long to get ready to go as it would take you to get there and back.
Better still, you can send them to the shop! - Obviously not for gin!
They can entertain themselves.
They lie in.

But...
They go to bed the same time as you, or even later if you get so very little evening time to watch things that might not be appropriate.
There is much angst with friends etc to deal with.

Overall, its easier now. E.g. We needed to get to an orthodontist appointment the other week but I couldn't find a parking safe anywhere so, rather than be late, DD just got out the car and walked over to the orthodontist to check in while I waited for a space and I met her in there a few minutes later. I remember thinking 'gosh, this is so convenient!'

In some ways they/parenting them has got easier, in some ways more difficult. Dses 10, 8 with autism, 5.

Easier:
They don't need so much help to do physical stuff e.g. toileting, help at playgrounds, feeding, getting into cars, dressing etc (although DS2 still needs help with some of these)

They can help each other out.

Harder:
They need a lot more emotional input. Problems can't be solved with just a hug or kissing it better like when they are tiny & fall over.

There are lots of activities, both in school time & out of school time, that they need ferrying to or I need to attend.

They are more expensive! Clothes, food, toys, gadgets. E.g. pair of trousers for a 1-year old, maybe £10. For a 10-year old £18.

You think that childcare costs will decrease as they get older. In fact, it is more difficult to find wraparound care, holiday care & sick care with the right hours & it is pricey (£36 for after school club for my 3, I only earn £35 for a shift at work!)

Hard to get the balance between letting them be independent & knowing their limits.

All 3 have homework & the smaller 2 (at least) need my help to make sure it's done & sometimes to understand it. Each one needs to read/spell/Do tables each night, takes up a lot of time.

They are all more argumentative/stroppy than toddlers!

I love my boys, but sometimes I wish they were babies or toddlers again, those days seemed a lot simpler to me!

They leave home.

Some major milestones were waking after me, being able to leave the house without major preparations, the end of tantrums, they stopped getting ill every five minutes.

When they leave home you worry that you have no control over their lives or happiness. That’s less good.

I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll get a full night’s sleep every night.

My eldest helps put her younger brother to bed (she can put on his pjs, read him a story and tuck him in).

We can go out for the day without nappies/wipes/silly cup/bottle/change of clothes/buggy etc and don’t have to take steralisers/travel cots/baby monitors etc on holiday with us.

We can stay up later than usual, if needed. My eldest had to be in her own bed by 6:30pm or she’d scream the place down.

You don’t waste time shushing/patting kids to sleep at nap time or bed time.

Mine are 4 and 7 and can go about 3-4 hours without having to worry about feeding them anything. As babies I was always panicking about the next feed. Also, while they won't eat their greens, most food is accessible to them. I don't have to choose the goo option in a restaurant because I have to share with a child (while dh has spicy chilli beef).

So far today...

I got up after the children left for school
My oldest walked the dog
My youngest brought me the post
My middle one says she'll cook dinner

Mine moved to Canada
I’m glad she’s happy but I miss her so much
I wish she was little again to do things together
They are all so independent now, still messy when they come home thou!

I’m on strong medication for epilepsy. When DS was younger, under 5 I’d say, if I ever dropped a tablet there would be a mad panic until it was found. It was even worse when he was 3 and under, i’d Have to shut off the room til it was found! No such worries now. If I drop one it’s like meh 🤷‍♀️

He’s 16.

I get much more time to myself because they go out to play with their friends or have friends on to play.
They can entertain themselves more. Ds2 cried and wouldn't let me put him down for the first 10 and a half months of his life, when he finally started walking and gave me my hip and left a back (some of the time), so everything seemed easier after that.
Bath and shower time because you can leave them in there themselves and just shout instructions.
They take themselves to the toilet.
You don't have to carry them, or worry about them getting too tired, or needing a nap.
Going on a day out doesn't t always need to be like a flitting. We can leave the house and just tell them to grab a jacket.
They can grab themselves snacks and drinks.

It gets easier until they hit teen years.
My DD age 6 is a doodle to parent.
My 13 year old not so much

I found the baby stage the easiest as they cant move or defy you. Also i didnt have to work during mat leave.

Although I'm a childminder so it's only really easier at the weekend, I just do all those things for other peoples children now 😂

Remembered another one. A couple of weeks ago, DS had a dentist appointment in the May half term. In the past i’ve always accompanied him but this time I told him to make his own way there and book in for any necessary treatment (he didn’t need any) It saved me using half a day’s annual leave and DS felt more independent. He’s nearly an adult anyway!

Ds is 15. I have many happy memories and the occasional nostalgic twinge but basically EVERYTHING is better. I remember big improvements at 7 months (No more sterilizing) 1 year (walking thank God, he was so heavy) 3 (first toilet trained then preschool) 4 (could be alone for a bit and was also just delightful every day) 7 (more grown up) and despite a tricky patch 11-13 it just went on improving.

I have never felt sad that I won't sing Wheels on the Bus again either.

Thanks folks! Keep them coming

Leaving the house with minimal stuff.
They can do things more independently... although this does not mean that they will.
They can tell you what they like/ dislike rather than just screaming and crying at it.
Independent play.
They don't have to be watched near constantly to thrawt suicide missions (DS2 was harder for this than DS1 who could be riveted to Thomas DVDs for ages)

However:
The hazards become more external. Plus peer pressure/ pester power.
Sibling squabbling.
School makes childcare much more messy.
They start getting into things you don't understand. I'm currently doing a lot of Minecraft related "smile and nod" This is not-so-bad. Then there's the youtube vlogs about Minecraft which are fine in themselves, but it's the risk of inappropriate content being disguised in so they stumble on it.

Mine are 6&8. I now feel happy that DS1 has the life skills to keep him alive for upto 15 minutes while I walk 200m to school and back to pick his brother up from a club rather than dragging a reluctant child out. I am looking forwards to not feeling trapped in the house with them both all the time, or having to lug reluctant children out on principle.

My toddler days are done though. They were tough!

KindergartenKop, the other day we went out for a whole-day trip. When DC grumbled about hunger I strolled into a bakery and let them choose whatever they wanted which they ate quite happily on the hoof without anything being dissected, chopped up or too hot. When it was dinner we went into the nearest pub and they chose from the kid's menu in two seconds flat and demolished the whole lot with no whinging or crying. Plus they could wait for their food while chatting and colouring quietly instead of getting hangry and wriggly.

It was such a liberating moment! As you say, the whole day no longer revolving around people HAVING to be fed certain things at certain times, and what they did want to eat being cheap and readily available, made everything so so much easier.

Mine are 3 and 6.

I can shower or clean upstairs while they play downstairs.
They don’t wake (much) in the night, usually because of a bad dream or water spilt on the bed.
They are a joy to eat out with; although we still have to make sure we have colouring books/toys for it to go totally smoothly.
Eldest dresses herself, does her hair, puts her shoes on.
Eldest can get into/out of car herself, do seatbelt etc.
Long car journeys are generally ok, again entertainment still needed.
Eldest reads stories to littlest.
Eldest can dress youngest for me, but I don’t often ask!
They play together meaning I can have a coffee and sit down for a wee bit.
Eldest can tidy her room.
They like to help with chopping/cooking and making their own lunch.

They could and would probably do more if they had to. But They are still very little and there’s plenty of time for all that. I still enjoy mothering them and that’s my responsibility obviously. If I really couldn’t be arsed I’m sure they could just entertain themselves all day and I could be emotionally absent but...obv, don’t want that!

Ime it gets way easier. Babies and toddlers are physically very demanding while teens are emotionally demanding, but my youngest is 10 and I wouldn't go back to babies/toddlers for anything. Lie ins, nights out, DC at school, chin up op, it does get easier.

Well obviously all children are different, and there are more challenges if you have more than one DC but from my POV things definitely became easier from around the age of 3.

I found baby stage, particularly newborn really difficult. I enjoyed spending time with DS as a toddler but didn't really have much of a life that didn't revolve around him e.g. No social life and taking him out for meal of days out with DH was huge hassle.

Pre school years I loved. I worked part time and loved my days off doing craft, going to parks etc , started to regain a bit of social life and family holidays etc a lot easier.

School years can be difficult if you are working, juggling child care etc. I was really lucky in that I had child friendly working hours (school hours although I didn't work in a school) and no real behavioural difficulties.

Then there comes the time you can leave them home alone. So much freedom! Yes, parenting a teen who no longer accepts your authority simply because you are mom and dad has challenges but again I think I've been lucky as, fingers crossed, no major issues so far.

So yes, in answer to your OP in my experience things get much easier as they get older.

DD is 2.2
She is so much easier than a one year old. She can entertain herself for small chunks of time and can do soft play without me actually having to go in the frame.
The fact she can speak and tell me what she wants makes things so much easier and she’s got a wicked sense of humour. She’s my favourite person to spend time with.

Haven't RTFT so probably repeating what others have said, but the biggie for me is being less physically weighed down! Be it by carrying child, carrying bags of stuff, buggies of cad seats, or a combo of all! I was watching my friend unload the baby, pram etc from the car the other day and had a little memory shudder at how physically difficult moving around was with very little DC. I had a moment at the beach the other day when my eldest needed the loo. She told me and just went! It was magic! No gathering up EVRERYONE else, and all the STUFF, and lugging us all along to the cafe hoping we made if in time before any toiletting disasters, trying to squeeze everyone into one cubicle and not being sure about whether it was ok to leave the new born outside the cubicle in the pram etc. Nope, she just walked off up the beach on her own Logistics is the biggie for me.

*buggies AND CAR seats

My DS has just turned 2. I find some things easier than when he was a baby like he can entertain himself for longer but still wants me to play with him most of the time (which I do). Now he can talk he is much more entertaining and he is very funny so he makes me laugh. He finally sleeps through the night now (although wakes up at 5.30 on the dot every morning).

Harder though is he knows his own mind and if he does not want to do something he will let you know and he will not do it (without a fight). Getting a one year old dressed is so much easier than a 2 year old who does not want to put his pants on. Taking a 1 year old (who could not walk) anywhere was so much easier than a 2 year old who does not want to sit down or stay in one place he wants to run everywhere we goes. He has endless energy.

I am hoping that 3 will be better again haha.